To not take dd to this party tomorrow?

[Reallywhatnow]

Dd has a party tomorrow for friends birthday.

One of the mums of the girls has messaged the WhatsApp group to tell the party host that her dd has been vomiting this evening so may have to miss the party but will hopefully be ok by tomorrow.

Party host has messaged back along the lines of please don't worry hope she's better soon.

The mum has said that her dd is feeling better already so will be there.

Wtaf? Aibu to not take my dd. Last thing we all need is a sickness bug the week before Christmas.

Everyone will be thinking the same as you OP. I bet they get a few drop-outs. Not only is she a CF for taking a poorly child to a party, but she must be pretty dense to advertise she’s been sick.

I have a special place of judgement in my mind for people who don’t observe the 48hr rule because they don’t want their hold to miss out. It’s shite, selfish behaviour. Parents know the difference between a child being sick from travel or coughing, and a bug. And to pp who said what if it’s food poisoning - well you follow 48hr rule because you can’t be sure.

My DD was vomiting this week, timed to miss the 2days of her p1 nativity. I was gutted for her and me, and she was feeling a lot better by the second day, but I’d never send her because I don’t think our wishes come at the expense of others! I’ve been shocked in recent years to discover how many people don’t think like this. Sorry for your DD, OP.

Looks like you already acted on it but I would message the host so she can go back to the mum and be straight with her. It would be such a shame for people to drop out because of one person's unthinking behaviour. But if the recently vomiting child does go, then there is no question of going. You'll all be sick over Christmas.

I had this in the weird time post covid when we were allowed to mix but it was still iffy. As the host I just called the mum of the sick child and explained that it wasn’t ok for them to come at that time but we’d do something else when she was better. But you’re not the host so I would make it clear to everyone why you aren’t going so the host has the choice.

I would avoid and let DC chose what they would like to do instead as a treat. I'd message on Whatsapp that we've decided not to go since there's a nasty bug going around that you don't want to catch over Christmas. Offer a play date with the birthday child in the new year.

What the whole class have all got the vomiting bug??? Ok

its really crap. if the sick child goes she’ll probably infect half the class and your DD may get it from other class members Monday/Tuesday. I hate thoughtless parents!

It's dealt with now from your perspective OP but I don't understand why party parent couldn't have said something like;

"That's great dd is better, all the same please could you follow the standard 48 hour sickness policy and keep her at home? It's best not to risk anyone else at the party or their families coming down with a vomiting bug, especially this close to Christmas. It's a shame she has to miss out but I'm sure you'll understand x"

You've missed the boat now op but I'd have definitely put something about the 48 hour rule on the group chat at the time.

I can't believe the child is going!

@Changeofnameforthis23 I agree but party parent may not be aware of this herself. My dh works for the nhs and there are some really stupid people out there! You'd be surprised at the basic health things some people do not know.

I feel sorry for the birthday girl and mum as I bet there are now a few no-shows due to this poorly child.

If they are all school friends then the whole party will get infected and then probably pass on on Monday at school so staying away probably won’t achieve anything. It seems odd that she said she was throwing up in the evening but already knew the same evening that she was ok to go.

I have pulled my kids out of social events in exactly this situation : I’ve always been clear as the to the reason why (not going near a potentially infectious child) .

Interestingly, over the years and me making this point, people got a bit more considerate in my kids’ school social circles and you would never have got a message like this on a group chat (or if you did people would have called it out)

I know it’s done now, but ideally you should e just replied something like “in case it’s contagious, we will probably avoid the party, so sorry (mum’s name). The last thing we want is a vomiting bug before Christmas”

Yeah, this approach is brilliant.

If the sick child’s mother doesn’t know, how will she learn for future OP? She’ll just keep doing it. Really should’ve just mentioned it. It’s not your job to make her feel more comfortable. You’re advocating for your child

That's so selfish 😒 I'd have probably messaged just the host, and said something like "Really sorry but going to keep dd at home as we're with elderly relatives at Christmas and don't want to risk passing on a sick bug. Hope the party goes well."

I agree with you. But I think selfish idiots will probably just keep quiet about their children vomiting, rather than actually change their ways.

I'd still not go, and tell them why. But I wouldn't think they'd realise how selfish they were being, I imagine they'd think I was overreacting.

I think you should have said something on the group chat because the host was trying and getting steam rolled by the other mum. She probably would have welcomed a supporting voice and might have interpreted the silence from other mums that she was being unreasonable to encourage the sick child to stay home.

Sorry but I think you’re culpable in this - sometimes silence makes a statement.

Sick child’s mum is an idiot!

I’m not sure pulling out is going to help you too much though, she’ll likely pass it onto other children who your DD will be with on Monday in school (sometimes takes a few days for the symptoms to come out)!

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 loads of schools broke up yesterday so hopefully this was the case for op too

Sick kid’s mum is an idiot.

Host child’s mum is a drip.

Can’t believe the selfishness here. I’m an emetophobe and was in a similar situation except on this occasion mum of poorly child had the good grace to ask if anyone minded her child coming as she’d been sick the day before. Others said they didn’t mind but i said i would have to stay away if they went. Ill child’s mum said they would stay away away!

If OPs kids finish school as late as we do, other kids at the party could still spread the bug at school and make everyone ill

I’m a emetophobe so would totally not send my child. This happened when dd was small but the party girl herself was vomiting the day before and one of her siblings, I didn’t send dd, the rest of the kids that went (or 99% of them) were not at school the following Monday, all off with the big and dd was fine. The mum handed me a party bag with cake for dd (in the playground on Monday) and I chucked it in the bin 😬.

Perhaps you could arrange a small get together for your daughter with her friends over the Christmas holidays as she’s missed out.

I think you're overreacting tbh. Wouldn't even cross my mind not to let DD go.