To think my monthly bills are FAR too high?

[Mysteriousgirl2]

Childcare £651
Food £450
Gym & swimming lessons £360
Car finance £325
Cleaner £240
Pet insurance £38
Mobile £17
car insurance £60
house insurance £92
Private pension £200

We are mortgage free. I take home about 2,200pcm and cover all the above costs.

I need to massively cut down, don’t I? 🙁

Sounds like you have more to think about than whether you need to reduce your cleaner’s hours, OP.
Is there a specific reason why the household money is not pooled together?

It’s a very easy argument to solve, side by side you list your incomings and outgoings and the overall net amount you are left with. One will be significantly less than the other as he makes money on the rental. Why would he think only his previous small home allows you to live in your current home? You work and earn much more than him and keep the house and children afloat. You are the main breadwinner.

Are you married and if not are you named on the rental house deeds?

I honestly exasperate at how some people are so blinded they can’t see how one sided it is (that’s your partner, not you)