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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my monthly bills are FAR too high?

227 replies

Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 20:14

Childcare £651
Food £450
Gym & swimming lessons £360
Car finance £325
Cleaner £240
Pet insurance £38
Mobile £17
car insurance £60
house insurance £92
Private pension £200

We are mortgage free. I take home about 2,200pcm and cover all the above costs.

I need to massively cut down, don’t I? 🙁

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 14/12/2023 21:56

I think your childcare seems high if your husband is covering pick ups etc and you have the holidays off, assuming you cover that for 13 weeks, but we don’t know the ages of your children maybe they are nursery age. If your husband is self employed maybe that’s a bill that can be reduced if he can do some work at weekends.

If you drop the cleaner your DH will also need to contribute to this equally or do more but as others have said really hard to tell how many hours he is working or how much childcare he’s doing from previous posts

TeaKitten · 14/12/2023 21:57

Thegoodbadandugly · 14/12/2023 21:56

How on earth does your gym and swimming come to so much?

She has explained this.

atthecoreofallyoudo · 14/12/2023 21:57

PaulaPocket · 14/12/2023 21:14

My Android that I bought myself for cash £200 two years ago costs me £8 a month with O2. SIM-only, unlimited texts and calls, 50 GB data

Show quote history

My non-smartphone (which cost £9 about 10 years ago) costs me £4 per month. Unlimited calls and texts. No data use, obviously.

Nobody needs a fancy phone.

I also don't get how a married couple are paying for things separately. If you are married, sharing the financial burden is part of the legal deal.

Ginmonkeyagain · 14/12/2023 22:02

If you have gaps in your pension, can you make additional voluntary contributions into your work pension? As it is a public sector one it is likely to be better than any private pension and you will make the contributions before tax.

Being in a public sector pension scheme and paying in to an additional personal private pension scheme seems a bit odd.

Redglitter · 14/12/2023 22:03

If your children have been having swimming lessons then swim with you they presumably know the basis. Surely you could drop the lessons when you take them yourself every week anyway

Christmassss · 14/12/2023 22:04

If you have gaps in your pension, can you make additional voluntary contributions into your work pension? As it is a public sector one it is likely to be better than any private pension and you will make the contributions before tax.

Also check if you have any missing years for the state pension.

Original poster
Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 22:07

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 14/12/2023 21:54

None if it makes any sense really. Some of your outgoings are high, but you're happy with that so nothing to do there.
You don't seem to have a budget for children's shoes and clothes, personal grooming for yourself, dentistry, saving: short medium or long term, home improvements and repairs, days out, etc etc etc.
£450 for food for 5 seems incredibly cheap.

Sorry if it doesn’t make sense to you, I’m honestly not trying to be awkward. Children clothes and shoes I budget £50 a month for, dentistry £42 and that’s it. We shop in Ldl and we do feed a family of 5 for £450 a month. We don’t drink and we cook everything from scratch. It’s honestly doable and I’m not lying about it.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 14/12/2023 22:08

Presumably your childcare will drop significantly
You live in. Nice large hpuse plys another property which is an asset you can sell at some point
You enjoy the gym
What is the problem?

If the rent does not cover the mortgage you can sell up ?

Yes, my DH has a mortgage on another property which he rents out

Original poster
Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 22:12

Ginmonkeyagain · 14/12/2023 22:02

If you have gaps in your pension, can you make additional voluntary contributions into your work pension? As it is a public sector one it is likely to be better than any private pension and you will make the contributions before tax.

Being in a public sector pension scheme and paying in to an additional personal private pension scheme seems a bit odd.

I think it’s because my work has been so poor over the last 8 years. I’ve been in and out of my sector. My pension doesn’t look good. I don’t know how long I’ll stay in full
time work this time because it’s so dam hard working long hours with small children.

I feel like my private pension is a bit of a back up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 22:13

Christmassss · 14/12/2023 21:39

If your DC can all swim how about ditching the lessons and carry on taking them as a family?

Edited

Good point. We are not there yet. Two out of the three can’t swim.

OP posts:
Christmassss · 14/12/2023 22:13

DH takes a crash course in cleaning the house so you can halve the cleaning bill and drop the swimming lessons for any DC that can swim.
Have another look around for cheaper insurance when it’s renewal time.

Original poster
Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 22:14

Tryingtokeepcalmandcarryon · 14/12/2023 21:56

I think your childcare seems high if your husband is covering pick ups etc and you have the holidays off, assuming you cover that for 13 weeks, but we don’t know the ages of your children maybe they are nursery age. If your husband is self employed maybe that’s a bill that can be reduced if he can do some work at weekends.

If you drop the cleaner your DH will also need to contribute to this equally or do more but as others have said really hard to tell how many hours he is working or how much childcare he’s doing from previous posts

Yes, I’ve got one in nursery for 4 days a week and I do pay for it all.

DH does 1 day a week childcare.

I do all the childcare in the holidays.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mysteriousgirl2 · 14/12/2023 22:16

Jagoda · 14/12/2023 21:47

How many hours does DH work on average? How much does he earn and what’s the monthly profit on his rent income?

It seems like he has a pretty good deal here and I don’t understand why you need a cleaner.

I think he earns about 1200 pcm but he’s self employed so it is not regular and does short days for childcare, and only 4 of them at that. He is not a spender as he doesn’t get regular income so he’s very careful with money.

OP posts:
ttcat37 · 14/12/2023 22:16

greencheetah · 14/12/2023 21:36

So what’s the mortgage for? Does rent provide additional income?

I don’t understand why you spend so much money on swimming instead of a family holiday.

Also, if you a public sector worker, why are you spending £200 a month on a private pension?

Cleaner seems excessive if DH is around for school pick ups and drop offs. He could possibly be doing more?

Working excessive hours really isn’t compulsory in public sector. Especially not at that low pay, unless you’re a teacher (been there/done that)

Working excessive hours is definitely compulsory in a lot of public sector jobs. Especially at that ‘low pay’.

Christmassss · 14/12/2023 22:17

Good point. We are not there yet. Two out of the three can’t swim
Some of my friends has good success with doing an intense swimming course during the half term and I taught mine to swim by going every day for a little while.
I has a ‘posh’ health club when my DC were young and got good value from it but didn’t pay for swimming lessons as well.

AInightingale · 14/12/2023 22:17

Why is your gym fee so high? Even if the swimming lessons are say £50 a week, how are you spending £160 on a gym? If you've got the room, you could buy a couple of exercise machines for the price of what you shell out in a few months.

Guibhyl · 14/12/2023 22:18

You’re still not answering about your husbands mortgage. It still doesn’t make sense. You say that he is only paying such a small amount towards household expenses because he pays £600pm on another mortgage. But then you say you rent that out? So how much rent are you getting for it? If it’s the same or more than the mortgage then this isn’t an excuse for him to pay less as the mortgage cost is more than earned back by the rental income. If he pay £600pm more in mortgage than he gets in rent then the house is costing you over £7k a year and you should sell it.

I suspect your DH is taking the piss financially. There doesn’t seem to be any justification for him to contribute so much less. If he works 25 hours a week then he should be on a roughly 0.6fte salary which should enable him to pay more than the 20% of household costs he is currently paying. So he either is wasting cash elsewhere or you are subsidising his hobby job and neither are fair.

Squishmellow · 14/12/2023 22:24

Is this another windup thread? you’re complaining about high bills, but you have no mortgage to pay and have a joint income of over 50k. Do you realise how lucky you are to be in this position.
It’s entirely up to you how you spend your money… but cleaners and gym memberships are luxuries for many people.

Shallana · 14/12/2023 22:34

The obvious costs are gym and swimming, £360 is extortionate. Do you have no local council leisure centres nearby? Ours is only £52 joint membership per month. Are all three children still learning to swim? Can you not stop the lessons and just practice with them in the pool?

Choosing an expensive gym and swimming over family holiday sounds crazy to me - I have absolutely no memories of my parents taking me swimming as a child (although they did) but I do have very vivid and fond memories of holidays and days out as a child. However, each to their own!

Cleaner - can this be reduced? Four hours a week seems excessive, why could DH not do more of this if he only works part time?

Also, you say that DH is responsible for another mortgage, but also that the other property is rented out, why does the rent not cover the mortgage?

Childcare - are you claiming tax relief on this?

NalafromtheLionKing · 14/12/2023 22:40

Yes, some of your expenses seem high (esp childcare as you have v long hols and DH works very sporadically and the gym/swimming lessons). However, you’re living in a lovely big mortgage free house and have a buy to let which provides a passive income with a small mortgage so you have a lot more leeway in the finances than many.

I wouldn’t be concerned if I were you.

Onelifeonly · 14/12/2023 22:42

If it is all 'doable' why not carry on as you are? Child won't be in nursery forever so that's an expense you'll lose.

The cleaner is a luxury we have never afforded. Sure our house isn't spotless but we manage somehow.

We are ex David Lloyd - ites. We now pay less than £95 a month for two of us and the gym is a few minutes walk away, saving on fuel too. I prefer it despite it being more scruffy because it's also smaller and friendlier. Even when we were at DL when the kids were younger, we eventually gave up on having swimming lessons there to use the much cheaper LA pool (plus, due to age difference, only one child had lessons at a time, the other just came to have fun.)

Didimum · 14/12/2023 22:45

60hrs a week at £42k? No thank you.

Ilovemyshed · 14/12/2023 22:48

How do you cover over £2400 of costs with £2200?

Insurance is high, as are some of the other things. Who pays the other bills like utilities ?

Copperoliverbear · 14/12/2023 22:48

House insurance and pp seem high I'd shop around, rest seems okay x

Ilovemyshed · 14/12/2023 22:49

merrymerrychristmasall · 14/12/2023 20:23

Jesus how do you get a phone for £17!

Looks reasonable to me but that home insurance seems very high.

Own a handset and do a sim only deal. I do Asda mobile for £7 per month.