To be put off using childminders because of the ones at toddler group?

[Strawberrypeachlime]

They actually seem like lovely women but they don’t watch the kids at all because they are chatting amongst themselves. Am I being unfair / unreasonable? I get it must be a really tough job but I would just want a bit more.

People saying they see parents sitting on their phones etc - childminders are being paid, often by the hour, to look after children. It isn’t the same situation.

I’ve seen some amazing childminders out and about over the years but was thoroughly put off by the bad ones. Similarly there are amazing nurseries but see one local one who walk the kids to the park in a big wagon thing and then look at their phones sitting on a bench whilst the kids (who are toddlers) just sit in the wagon doing nothing.

I see one on the way to school every day. Two babies in a double buggy, 4 toddlers holding on to the buggy and 2 older children on their way to be dropped at school. I see them being dragged across a busy road and it really makes me cringe. If those toddlers ran in separate directions, what would she do? I would hate for my little one being dragged out on school runs etc

You must live near me…. The one I see 3 of the kids are hers. Her youngest is nice and safe in the buggy while the kid she looks after is sitting on one of the attachments being dragged behind. She has a toddler attached by elastic strings and she is always running because she’s late. I have no idea how anyone trusts her with their child. I’ve always wonder what the ratio is when I see her. 3 of her own plus 2 older and maybe 2 other toddlers.

My children's childminder was fantastic. She had 2 assistants so it was like a cross between a childminders and a very very well staffed nursery. They only did an after school run once a week and they factored a park trip in (and because it was a team someone would stay behind with the kids that were napping/didn't want to go. So no being dragged out.

Amazing home cooked snacks and meals, creative activities, love care and flexibility. She became like an extra family member to them.

I totally agree, has put me off CMs massively.

Eg cm wanting to chat to her friend, kept feeding kids choc biscuits to keep them quiet like they're an inconvenience 🤦‍♀️

This, absolutely.
For a variety of reasons, we had a few different childminders over a number of years across all my dc, and they were all lovely, wonderful people.
I also visited a couple - who I obviously didn't use - that just left me feeling uncomfortable even at interview stage.
Via work, I've been in baby rooms in many a nursery I wouldn't leave a child in, but others are just wonderful.
Parents - don't get me started on some of the things I've witnessed , and heard about.

The vast majority of CMers are lovely, and it is wrong to tar a whole profession with the same brush......... even more so the poster who is mixing up CMers and Nannies.

I see one on the way to school every day. Two babies in a double buggy, 4 toddlers holding on to the buggy and 2 older children on their way to be dropped at school. I see them being dragged across a busy road and it really makes me cringe. If those toddlers ran in separate directions, what would she do? I would hate for my little one being dragged out on school runs etc

If you know who she is, then report to OFSTED re the numbers.
However, this idea of them going out and about every day as being negative is alien to me. That is a massive advantage of using a childminder over a nursery - the fact they aren't in the same 4 walls all day every day.

I ran a toddler group for seven years. We had about seven childminders who would attend at various times over those years. Three I would heartily recommend to people if they asked if I knew of anyone with spaces, one I’d actively advise against. The others were just generally doing their best.

A childminder round here has a German shepherd dog. I like dogs but there is simply no way I’d be leaving my children there.

This is the first time I've heard anyone (except myself) complain about CM's!

I considered one for dc but didn't like the idea of 1 person being able to not be monitored as such- I was thinking feet up with a cuppa while baby sits strapped in a chair. Thought no more about it.

Until when dc was 18 months we were at soft play, got talking to 2 ladies and they said they were CM's. That instantly made me wonder if their approach to their 3 babies falling when climbing up the slide was one parents would be happy with and the older 2 (about 3yrs) running around the tables rather than being anywhere near the soft play.

The last times I saw them were in the 6 weeks school holidays at a local largish park / walk / cafe where they regularly took their kids to play, while they chatted and didn't even watch from afar.
The park is across a big area and one child (about 6) was telling me his full address as he had been learning it 😐 no stranger awareness. Others were playing the other end of the park on the ropes separating the walking path.

Obviously some are absolutely fantastic and it's sad people like the above give them a bad name.

Childminders here & I along with most of my local CMs actually stopped going to toddler groups because of exactly the opposite. Parents sitting back ignoring their kids & on phones, assumed we'd look after their children for 2 hours, not interested in helping do any of the activities for children or stepping in when their own misbehaved.
2 groups folded within 12 months due to lack of parents stepping up. We socialise together instead & our minded children still get plenty of fun. We never go near soft plays either but again found myself stuck in a ball pit or up a slide helping random children whose parents were too busy to supervise.

And why are they all eating full Englishes?

It is a bit funny how the childminders on here all say this doesn’t happen and it’s only the parents who ignore their children! I wonder how much of this is our own perception.

My experience has been mixed. I saw two childminders in a local park, both with double buggies & toddlers doing nature hunts. They were obviously brilliant. I got her number but couldn’t work logistics between us but worth keeping an eye out at other places

Feel bad saying it but my experience of childminders at playgroups / soft plays is exactly why I would never use one. They often see these opportunities to socialise with each other and openly neglect the Children. I often see them left crying, tired, needing nappy change, nose wiped etc.. but they're ignored whilst childminders have a goss and a cuppa

I have never been to a baby group or soft play during the day so can't comment on that but the other afternoon I brought my dc to the local park. Youngest started running around with a little boy and I got chatting to the childminder. I was absolutely shocked she started slating the mother of the little boy and her parenting. I made my excuses and left as it was so embarrassing.
We were in a local park and my dc were wearing the uniform of the local school. I teach there and within 5 mins I knew who she was talking about. Very silly woman.

I’m sure there are lots of childminders who aren’t very good. But they’re all individuals and their reasons and motivations for being in the job won’t all be the same. I went to meet a few when I was looking for a CM for DS. I met a couple who I instantly knew weren’t going to be right. I visited one at her home where she was looking after three children. She smelt really strongly of fags like she’d just recently had one so either she had smoked in the house with the kids there or had gone outside to smoke, leaving the very little kids unattended. So that didn’t impress me. I met another one who had a very vocal Jack Russell which jumped up at me and the CM didn’t seem to have much control over it so that was a no go.

The one we eventually chose was absolutely wonderful. Endlessly patient and kind and very well-educated on child development. She would occasionally take her mindees to a supermarket for a quick shop, or to the Post Office but I had no problem at all with that as that is the sort of thing DS would have been doing had he been at home with me. She also took them outside a lot. To parks, woodland walks, the beach, duck ponds, strawberry-picking etc. And did lots of craft and messy play at home with them. I think I only remember her taking him to soft play once or twice in the 2+ years he was with her. She also didn’t meet up with a big group of other minders but would sometimes have another minder round to hers so the children could play together and she could have a bit of adult conversation with her friend! Overall, it was a very homelike environment for him and he thrived. It’s 12 or so years since she looked after DS but I remember her with such fondness and gratitude.

Hats off to the childminders on the thread- I’m sure you all do a fantastic job, and certainly not an easy one. 💐

I actually approached a childminder to take care of my child after seeing her out and about and interacting brilliantly with the children she looked after. She was wonderful and ended up working for us for 7 years. I haven't actually seen any worse nannies/childminders than parents. I also wouldn't believe things are all marvellous in nurseries either after finding a three year old on the street who had escaped from the one near my house!

I'm a childminder and I don't go to toddler groups because I end up being the one watching ALL the kids... I'm also the crazy lady you'll see running around a park pushing swings at one end, helping kids onto the slide at the other end and then back again. There are good ones amongst the bad@

Funnily enough I was at a soft play today and overheard a lady speaking to staff saying she was a childminder, she had 3 children with her around 2/3 years old.

At one point she had one child by the arm parading them around in front of the other two and was LOUDLY repeating "X is a LIAR" "X tells LIES"

Made me feel extremely uncomfortable

My childminder is absolutely fantastic, I’d be lost without her

Nursery, by comparison, was a shambles. Top-rated Montessori type one and I had to pull DS out for a number of reasons

He's like a different child now with the minder

Its like everything I guess, good and bad examples to be found

This is why I picked a childminder who doesn't take the kids out. She has a whole load of kids and staff, basically a nursery at this point!

Had personally a bad experience with a child minder, and had to tell a friend I’d seen her son in the get bullied and dragged around by childminder’s son in the park when I ran into them by chance, child minder completely uninterested not supervising at all. Apparently her son had been unhappy at childminder’s and she’d been unsure why. Also seen groups at soft play with childminder’s being uncaring towards the children they’re looking after.

I hve for memories of a childminder at toddler group when mine were newborn and nearly two. If I was feeding the baby, she would just sweep at my toddler with her own charges for the craft activities, snack time etc. Or hold the baby while I went to do a nappy change. Or keep on eye on the baby in a bouncer while I did an activity with toddler. She was an absolute star... just saw someone who needed a bit of extra help and provided it. She didn't neglect her own charges either!

Also had this experience. We used to attend a group which was popular with cms. One lady was lovely and really engaged with her mindees, but the vast majority were totally ignoring the kids.

YANBU. The only CM around here that isn't like that has a brother with 5 or 6 children, all of which are now under the care of other family members (they were being removed by SS)...so call me judgmental, but I'm not keen on the idea of using them!

With both childminders and nannies you should always ask a friend to attend a communal setting they do and report back. I did that a few times and the childminders were all lovely, most parents choose a childminder as they want their child to learn a bit on independence - they don't want a helicopter childcarer.

The only issue I saw was with a nanny, who just wasn't being very nice to her child, they'd seen the same and they got someone more suitable, I think it's changed a lot over the past few years, people do it now as they like children and it's not a stepping stone to living in the UK.