For not doing Christmas gifts with DH?

[pumpkinfarm]

Does anyone else not swap Xmas gifts with their DP? Can't work out if it's a bit miserable of me. There's nothing we both want/need that we couldn't just buy ourselves. We share a bank account and I'd rather just use the money to pay off the mortgage tbh 😄

Last year we said just do something small like £20-£30 as we were buying zoo passes in the new year. This year his family are doing secret Santa and I didn't want one of us to get the other, then have to buy another gift to exchange with each other if that makes sense? And like you there is nothing we need, so we are just doing secret Santa with the family, although I suspect he picked my name anyway haha. We will do a token gift from the our son to the other parent for our son to give on the day though, just like choca or socks etc.

Exh and I stopped after we had dc as we we typically too broke after buying for kids etc. if we had spare cash we would use it for a meal out or something for the home. Never bothered us.

im remarried now, and more financially stable to boot, but mooted a few years in if we shouldn’t bother exchanging gifts. Dh was horrified and said he would never not want to get my anything for Xmas. He loves gift buying and always buys me lovely things so I’m not complaining. As Dh rarely treats himself, I like to treat him at Xmas too. Yes we have our own money and can buy ourselves what we want, but it is nice to be thought of, be thoughtful towards each other and surprise each other.

DHs birthday is in February so it feels that as soon as we've come out of Christmas expense I have two things to deal with. It's just never ending and I'd love to stop it.

We do that whenever we want throughout the year. It doesn't need to be Christmas to treat your partner.

Totally fine.

We’re the opposite however and go a bit overboard with each other, sane with our daughters. Both grew up being fairly spilt by family so I guess it’s what we’re used to 🙈

It depends on you and DP, I guess. We tend to buy each other stuff for our hobbies. DH likes diamond painting so I got him one he really wants and a nice new pen for it. In the past I got him a light board for it. He also build Star Wars Lego so I usually get him a new one of those. I like Harry Potter Lego so he usually gets me a new set etc.

We usually get something for each other from the kids too. I think it’s nice for the kids to see us get something too.

I don't think it's unusual but I find it a bit sad. But then I love giving gifts so each to their own.

I made a similar post once, explaining we were booking a night away in the new year as a Christmas treat, but didn’t really plan to give additional presents. I had lots of people telling me it was miserable and we really ought to get each other a few little bits (socks, shower gel, etc) to put under the tree, to set a good example to our daughter of how Christmas is about giving and sharing.

Then another time I posted asking for some little “filler” gift suggestions for my daughter, who had some nice main gifts, but essentially it was going to look a bit sparse under the tree. I had enough money to get a few more little bits and pieces, but was told by rather a lot of people that it was wasteful, giving for the sake of giving, and essentially made out like my daughter would be a spoiled madam for having some little extras.

So you can’t win, it would seem!

That's mumsnet for you 🙄@Twoweeksandcounting I comment on posts but I'm not sure I'll ever be brave enough to start my own post! Some people are brutal!