To think that if you’re the white parent of a mixed race child in the U.K., you should educate yourself about race issues and racism?

[Yabberwocky]

Just that, really. You should make an active and consistent effort to inform yourself, try to understand what your child might be dealing with, recognise microaggressions, that sort of thing.

I’ve been musing about my own childhood and upbringing. Wondered what people thought.

Yes agree but at the same time we shouldn’t start blaming a child’s parents for him/her being affected by the racism of others/within society. You also have to be aware that the discourse available to you isn’t the same as what was available years ago to your parents. I think it’s incredibly sad if the impact of racism results in children turning on their parents

This book may be of interest. Sabrina is a really positive person on Instagram and being interviewed about what she faced growing up.

www.amazon.co.uk/Black-Sheep-Sabrina-Pace-Humphreys/dp/1529418550

Or much more likely, you simply had the privilege of being oblivious.

I'm mixed race, mixed white and asian and grew up abroad in my mum's Asian home country. Experienced constant racism throughout my childhood including digs from my own extended family, who love me but it's just ingrained in the culture there.

Basically never had anything here in the UK except so-called "microaggressions" which you'd have to be trying hard to get offended about (I've had white friends overhear stuff and got indignant on my behalf, but not been offended myself).

My dh is white. He's the loveliest man in the world. How is any of that his responsibility?!

Edit: in case it's not clear, I voted yabu. My dad is the white parent, absent throughout my childhood and a total dickhead, but the racism I endured growing up had nothing to do with him either

No you’re not, you’re saying that white parents of ‘mixed race’ children are not ‘educated’ about racism. That’s a huge assumption there about a whole demographic.

Some posters seems to have missed the point the OP was making. She wasn't talking about racism in general but referring to white women who have mixed-race children, and how they should educate themselves on race matters and what problems their children are likely to face.

Talk of my best friend is mixed-race, etc is not relevant.

Black women who have mixed race children won't need lessons on how to grow up black.

Yes it is, full of all sorts of thoughts - as is everyone’s.
Your post is claiming something negative about a whole group of people who have something in common - their skin colour. Isn’t that the very definition of racism?

OMG - this kind of 'colour blindness' exactly sums up the problem.

ascribing something negative to a group of people because of their race - ie all mixed race children have a parent who isn’t ‘educated’ about racism is, in of itself, racist.

Why just target white women

Will they need lessons on how to grow up white though? Can you not see how wrong that sounds?

Your point is moot because people of colour, regardless of whether or not they have a white parent, will not usually be treated as though they are white. Whiteness as a concept was created as part of a racial hierarchy and therefore it’s exclusionary. That is the very basic premise of this conversation.

Oh my word...no. Just no.

White women with mixed race kids. Are you being wilfully obtuse to miss that aspect?

I don't know any mixed families where this doesn't happen. The white parent usually over compensates if I am honest whereas the other parent is more relaxed.

On microagressions....we talked about those on a training course and listed them. I was like that's not discrimination, that's how I am with everyone! A lot of supposed microagressions mirror everyday habits of ND people.
But if someone is told that's a microagression because of your race, they are going to feel victimised when they shouldn't.

In a school with predominantly white pupils, it is direct racist slurs/jokes that are the main issue. Some phrases that before being a parent of mixed race children, I had thought had been left behind in the 1970s/early 80s. This stuff is so often spread though memes and then repeated, sometimes in ignorance, usually not.

Yes I agree. But would say the same for any parent of any child of any background!

Not really if you're a white parent of a white kid

I agree with you OP but I think it’s primarily black parents and other parents of colour that should be responsible for providing this support.

Don’t get me wrong white parents need to know enough to provide support or not actively be a hindrance and in single parent families they need to be able step up and do this alone. But personally I feel I can only expect my DP to understand the black experience so far. I feel I’m still constantly learning about how best to operate in society as a black person so how can I expect a him to be able to support DC 100% by just reading around the topic. Then added to that mono racial experiences of racism are sometimes different to mixed race experiences so I’m not even confident I’ll always get it right.

I'm white, my daughter is black. I've been dealing with racism towards her since she was a baby, from my family as well as strangers. ("Put plenty of suncream on that one, you don't want her any blacker" from a man at a bus stop when she was tiny, was my first.)
I'm trying. It's just me, her father has never seen her and doesn't want to, and his family aren't around, but I am trying.

Then you have misread the OP. She is talking about parents, not only women, have to educate themselves. If the family consisted of black mother, white father, mixed children it would be the father that would need educating. Ironically, your post is quite sexist.

Yes sexist of me - in my defence was basing my response on my own family situation and those around me. I personally know of only families where the mother is the white parent.

To be honest, I think that everyone who isn't a victim of racism should try to educate themselves about race issues.

Where have I said this? Please quote me.

It’s been my experience that actual, proper racism in the UK is very rare. Or should I say was.

Are you an ethnic minority and speaking about your own experiences (or lack thereof) of racism? And what would you term ‘proper racism’?