Page 9 | DDs school want me to COVID test her, AIBU to say no?

mybossisaprick · 2023-12-11T16:43:19+00:00

Dd, who is in primary school, has got the cold that’s been going round. She’s not too unwell in herself, and is happily playing, but she has a husky voice and a cough. She’s maybe a bit more tired than normal, but nothing that would mean she would need to stay off school. If she was unwell enough to miss school, I’d keep her off. Her teacher pulled me aside at pickup time and asked me if she’d taken a COVID test. I said no, she hadn’t. Teacher asked me why not, and I explained that she wasn’t unwell enough to miss school, and so there was no point testing her for COVID. Teacher said that I should test her anyway, and if positive she should stay home. I explained that myself and my partner both have to work, we don’t get enough leave as it is, and whilst if DD was actually unwell in herself and couldn’t go to school, one of us could stay off with her, but since she’s not, we really don't have the resources to be taking time off. Also, I don’t have easy access to tests and I’d rather not buy a test when I don’t need to. AIBU to tell this teacher that I wouldn’t be testing DD?

Clutterbugsmum · 12/12/2023 06:54

I wouldn't test, if your child's well enough to go to school then they should.

We need to try to get back to pre Covid and only if we are really ill do we stay at home.

Oh and it's winter there are so many colds as there is every year.

SwingTheMonkey · 12/12/2023 07:02

CouchCat · 12/12/2023 06:42

From the OP: "husky voice and a cough. She’s maybe a bit more tired than normal" and the teacher asked OP to test, so felt it was necessary.

I agree that it does seem sometimes kids are off sick all the time. But doesn't it make more sense not to spread those illnesses around a small, stuffy room full of children and adults, complicating the problem?

I'll note, too, that the OP has only posted once, so this could be all theoretical anyway.

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Of course it doesn’t make more sense not to spread illness around classrooms. Firstly, as previously mentioned, kids would spend more time at home than at school in the winter months and secondly, do you not remember the awful problem with invasive Strep A last year? Caused by a couple of years of not mixing and spreading normal winter viruses…

bellac11 · 12/12/2023 07:29

Friarclose · 11/12/2023 23:56

I tested positive on Tuesday last and only just feeling better now. Aches, headache, terrible sinus pain, loss of taste and smell and was barely able to keep my eyes open.

Covid is NOT just a cold to many.

If you can test and isolate, you should.

Thats how all colds make me, its how my body reacts, always has done. I lose my taste and smell on a regular basis, I have had loss of taste and smell since having a terrible virus a long time ago and have long term impacts from that but no one is interested in that because the virus didnt have a name, its just 'long virus'.

CouchCat · 12/12/2023 07:49

@SwingTheMonkey

Of course it doesn’t make more sense not to spread illness around classrooms. Firstly, as previously mentioned, kids would spend more time at home than at school in the winter months and secondly, do you not remember the awful problem with invasive Strep A last year? Caused by a couple of years of not mixing and spreading normal winter viruses…

Sorry, to clarify, you do want sick kids? Won't that then mean they're at home?

SwingTheMonkey · 12/12/2023 07:58

CouchCat · 12/12/2023 07:49

@SwingTheMonkey

Of course it doesn’t make more sense not to spread illness around classrooms. Firstly, as previously mentioned, kids would spend more time at home than at school in the winter months and secondly, do you not remember the awful problem with invasive Strep A last year? Caused by a couple of years of not mixing and spreading normal winter viruses…

Sorry, to clarify, you do want sick kids? Won't that then mean they're at home?

Not necessarily, no. Mine have all had mild colds this week - nothing bad enough to be at home. It’s necessary to have these mild viruses circulating as we found out last year. In fact, my own children haven’t been poorly enough for a single day off this term. A sniffle here and there, sure. But nothing serious.

fiftiesmum · 12/12/2023 08:14

Those of us with memories going back to pre COVID days will know that some colds can be really nasty and some people would go on to get chest, throat, sinus or ear infections - we just have a name and a home test for one of these viruses which start off with sneezing, runny noses and cough.
OP I would not buy a test - if you see teacher today ask them for the test pack or say you have requested one from the nhs but have not received it

x2boys · 12/12/2023 08:16

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 12/12/2023 03:57

I'm not in the UK, but thinking back over my working life none of my employers "expected" people to come in when they were sick. People made their own decision about whether they were well enough to work or not, and that was that.

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Well,as you say you are not in the uk so you have no understanding of how some UK employers expect their employees in regardless and many employees will be subject to disciplinary proceedingss if they continually go off sick

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 12/12/2023 08:19

x2boys · 12/12/2023 08:16

Well,as you say you are not in the uk so you have no understanding of how some UK employers expect their employees in regardless and many employees will be subject to disciplinary proceedingss if they continually go off sick

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Well, I imagine that there are some employers here who expect their staff to come in when they are sick too, but maybe the question should be why are UK employers so draconian? Here everyone is entitled to a number of sick days every year, and if you don't use them they accumulate. I thought the UK was supposed to be "world leading" - it's mentioned on here often enough!! Some of your workplace practices sound decidedly old fashioned.

TrashedSofa · 12/12/2023 08:21

mathanxiety · 11/12/2023 23:03

Your problems with leave/ sick days are not the teacher's or the classmates' to solve.

Equally, the teacher's desire for the OPs child to take a test is not the OPs problem to solve.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 12/12/2023 08:41

VanityDiesHard · 11/12/2023 22:47

You are still giving Covid way too much importance in your life, to be fair. People do not care any more, and fewer and fewer people are going to care going forward. You can accept that fact, or you can waste precious energy getting upset that the world has moved on.

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Wouldn’t you give it more importance if you were in my state?

x2boys · 12/12/2023 08:56

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 12/12/2023 08:19

Well, I imagine that there are some employers here who expect their staff to come in when they are sick too, but maybe the question should be why are UK employers so draconian? Here everyone is entitled to a number of sick days every year, and if you don't use them they accumulate. I thought the UK was supposed to be "world leading" - it's mentioned on here often enough!! Some of your workplace practices sound decidedly old fashioned.

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Clearly we are reading different forums as on all the threads I read on here nobody thinks he UK is world leading in anything and every week we have a thread about how terrible the UK is compared to the rest of he world
I don't think the UK is terrible btw I just think we are four years into the pandemic now we have vaccines and treatment s and we are getting on with Covid now much Like the rest of the world hence why Employers expect their Employees in regardless of whether they have Covid or not assuming they are well enough.

ohdamnitjanet · 12/12/2023 09:00

StaunchMomma · 11/12/2023 17:03

I think you sound a bit entitled, OP.

Schools don't have to stick to guidance to the letter, they have to look at their situation. If they have eg vulnerable pupils or staff at the school or a current staffing issue due to Covid then I can see why they'd make that request.

They have to think about all kids, not just yours and certainly not your working hours.

I agree. I wouldn’t hesitate to test and would not send my child to school if it was positive. So unfair on everyone else.

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 12/12/2023 09:04

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow I have no words except wtf? I'm so sorry - long covid is awful.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 12/12/2023 09:15

I wonder what the head will say when you are pulled in to discuss attendance and explain the reason your dc had taken time off was at the request of the teacher.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 12/12/2023 09:17

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 12/12/2023 09:04

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow I have no words except wtf? I'm so sorry - long covid is awful.

Thank you.

Some people seem so dim and selfish.

Heatherjayne1972 · 12/12/2023 09:28

There’s no ‘rules’ anymore tho
if your ill stay home if your well enough you go to school or work

I work in dentistry and I get very up close and personal with 15+ people every day!

and yet they aren’t obliged to cancel ( unless they choose to) and I have to go in
covid or not ( I’m booked up 4/5 months ahead currently- it would go down v badly if I didn’t go in Days off for illness always were frowned upon )
and yes some of those patients and few of my colleagues are medically vulnerable

We are supposed to be ‘living with it’

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 12/12/2023 09:34

Heatherjayne1972 · 12/12/2023 09:28

There’s no ‘rules’ anymore tho
if your ill stay home if your well enough you go to school or work

I work in dentistry and I get very up close and personal with 15+ people every day!

and yet they aren’t obliged to cancel ( unless they choose to) and I have to go in
covid or not ( I’m booked up 4/5 months ahead currently- it would go down v badly if I didn’t go in Days off for illness always were frowned upon )
and yes some of those patients and few of my colleagues are medically vulnerable

We are supposed to be ‘living with it’

I guess your patients could mask to try to protect themselves when accessing healthcare? Oh.

VanityDiesHard · 12/12/2023 09:34

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 12/12/2023 08:41

Wouldn’t you give it more importance if you were in my state?

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No. No, I would not. I would refuse to let it define me and I would be anxious to move on from it.

VanityDiesHard · 12/12/2023 09:36

Heatherjayne1972 · 12/12/2023 09:28

There’s no ‘rules’ anymore tho
if your ill stay home if your well enough you go to school or work

I work in dentistry and I get very up close and personal with 15+ people every day!

and yet they aren’t obliged to cancel ( unless they choose to) and I have to go in
covid or not ( I’m booked up 4/5 months ahead currently- it would go down v badly if I didn’t go in Days off for illness always were frowned upon )
and yes some of those patients and few of my colleagues are medically vulnerable

We are supposed to be ‘living with it’

Quite right, too. The backlog would be immense if the rules were still as they used to be. We need to move on and accept that Covid is milder than it was. The mass hysteria of 2020/21 was a very very dark time in history.

DottyLottieLou · 12/12/2023 09:41

Is the teacher vulnerable. Are there vulnerable children in the class? It's not all about you.

Oliotya · 12/12/2023 09:49

DottyLottieLou · 12/12/2023 09:41

Is the teacher vulnerable. Are there vulnerable children in the class? It's not all about you.

I think most kids would be pretty vulnerable if their parents got fired and couldn't pay the mortgage. I'm sure we'd all like to live in a world with unlimited pto or backup childcare. But we don't.

SJM1988 · 12/12/2023 09:53

Depends what the school policy on sickness is. I know that the general rule is you carry on if you have covid but some places still want you off. If the school still have a policy of they can't be in if they have covid then you don't really have a choice really. Either test and know its not or potentially be forced to keep her home. They can tell you she can't be in if they think she is too sick (or has something they class as not being allowed in school with). They aren't childcare, they are there to teach. Not having enough leave for her to be off sick shouldn't be a factor in if you do the covid test or not.

My 6 year old is currently off with a temperature (like half his class). If they have covid they still have to go in unless they are too sick (e.g. physically sick or a temperature) so we don't test. But if they rule was not to be in with covid I would test. It is then my responsibility to source childcare around work (usually I have to take unpaid leave or WFH if I can)

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 12/12/2023 09:54

Yes, not being able to work or attend school because you are too sick for a long period does make you vulnerable. Then again, just need to look at the workforce stats to see how that has rocketed.

Malificent1 · 12/12/2023 09:59

You were more polite than I would have been OP. The covid hysteria is over. I won’t be testing ever again.

Oliotya · 12/12/2023 10:03

TeaWithASplashOfMilk · 12/12/2023 09:54

Yes, not being able to work or attend school because you are too sick for a long period does make you vulnerable. Then again, just need to look at the workforce stats to see how that has rocketed.

Well yeah, that's because we're getting older, fatter and have declining mental health. Stopping happy kids going to school will exacerbate that if anything.