DDs school want me to COVID test her, AIBU to say no?

[mybossisaprick]

Dd, who is in primary school, has got the cold that’s been going round. She’s not too unwell in herself, and is happily playing, but she has a husky voice and a cough. She’s maybe a bit more tired than normal, but nothing that would mean she would need to stay off school. If she was unwell enough to miss school, I’d keep her off.

Her teacher pulled me aside at pickup time and asked me if she’d taken a COVID test. I said no, she hadn’t. Teacher asked me why not, and I explained that she wasn’t unwell enough to miss school, and so there was no point testing her for COVID. Teacher said that I should test her anyway, and if positive she should stay home. I explained that myself and my partner both have to work, we don’t get enough leave as it is, and whilst if DD was actually unwell in herself and couldn’t go to school, one of us could stay off with her, but since she’s not, we really don't have the resources to be taking time off. Also, I don’t have easy access to tests and I’d rather not buy a test when I don’t need to.

AIBU to tell this teacher that I wouldn’t be testing DD?

In reality I suspect a fair few people would've politely said yes then lied.

It’s not fucking defining me! I’m too ill and weak to move. I’m desperate to move on from it. You’re implying that l want this. How do l move on when l can’t walk?! Or cook, or socialise, or do household tasks.

FGS! How can you possibly misunderstand?!

Are people buying covid tests now then? As an nhs worker, I’ve not been provided with any since the end of 2022. Do people also buy flu tests? If you test for Covid but not for flu, why?

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow that poster will never understand, or care. Please don't imagine most people feel like that or have so little compassion for the situation you've found yourself in.

I suspect if you have to test to know you have flu, you don't have flu.
Covid varies widely in how debilitating the symptoms are, person to person. So I might be able to drag myself into work with my "cold" but the person I sit next too could be floored for a month. So I'd like to know.

I suspect if you have to test to know you have flu, you don't have flu.

You suspect wrong. Flu can be mild or even asymptomatic. Very common misconception that it isn't flu unless you're dog rough.

I suspect if you have to test to know you have flu, you don't have flu.

@Yesididntdothat Your suspicions are wrong.

Perhaps you ought to start buying yourself some flu tests as well. Your ‘cold’ might be flu and could kill somebody. You’d have blood on your hands!

I'm not about to tell people whether they should test, and I think the covid is/not like flu discussion generally unhelpful, but I do think it's interesting how little awareness there is of asymptomatic transmission in some quarters.

The thing about real flu, £50 note etc is phenomenally pervasive. Comes up on here most weeks in the winter, often mere moments after someone's just posted studies about the prevalence of asymptomatic flu. It just won't go away. There are clearly a lot of people who don't get that they could've transmitted flu (or other viruses) asymptomatically to any number of people who subsequently died of them, well before covid 19 turned up.

I have a cold at the minute, only mild, as do my DC. Flu tests are £20 on Amazon. Do we need to stay in until we can test? Do we test every day until its clear? Where can I claim the £20-£100 back?

I really can't be doing with the "ha ha blood on your hands" comments. Probably depends a bit on whether you had anyone you knew die from covid. Or just general self interest, perhaps.

There are people on here who've had loved ones die of flu, if we're going down that road.

My response was sarcastic. I wouldn’t test for Covid, or flu.

It was in response to someone saying they only test for Covid, not flu because ‘you’d know if you had the flu’. Which is ridiculous imo - flu is just as likely to make someone seriously ill as Covid is.

My grandad died from the flu. Probably caught it from someone who insists on testing for Covid but would happily carry on as normal if they got that negative Covid test result.

Oh fgs I'm a dick, ignore me 😩

But if you do know the answers to my questions that would be great 🤣

You aren’t being unreasonable. I’d tell them no too! I think the teacher should mind her own bloody business.

I work in a zero hours minimum wage job in a warehouse. Of course people come in if they are ill as otherwise they don't get paid. Some are more considerate than others as to their basic hygiene but generally there are lots of germs around. Occasionally someone rocks in with a face mask but I'm never sure if that means they have covid or are protecting themselves from it.

I wouldn't test because it wouldn't change my view. I don't get paid if I don't go to work so I try and go in as much as possible but because I have 2 kids my odds of not making it in are higher.

If they are genuinely ill then me and my husband take it in turns to stay at home. Neither of our employers would be happy if we turned around and said we couldn't make it in because our child wasn't ill but covid positive considering there are no rules anymore.

I know this seems to be a mind blowing concept to some but neither of us can work from home, we can't afford for either of us to piss our employers off unnecessarily, we like being able to afford to pay the bills. Both of our employers are actually pretty good about us needing time off for sickness but there is only so much they will accept and that's totally understandable. Us not being there has negative impacts on them and when it can't be helped it can't be helped but this isn't one of those.

Now I do think there can be a lot of unfairness around sickness, presenteeism in the workplace and in school. I've worked in many places where its assumed someone is faking if they call in sick and too many absences require a meeting. As you can imagine it's not conductive to taking time off because of a sore throat or a sniffle plus at the end of the day if we all took time off because we were tired/only feeling 95% we would never be in work.

If we are expected to ground to a halt because of covid we need to go back to 2020, pay for isolation of yourself or a child, free tests and government backed isolation policies because otherwise we will crack on as usual because we have to come first and that's the way of life. Nobody else is going to put a roof over my head or feed us.

I agree with every word of this. Some Mumsnetters really do live in Never Never land.

Even in 2020 @Pickingmyselfup there was no legal requirement for the government to fund isolation. SSP only, so there were people who were priced out of isolation whilst also being threatened with legal sanctions if they didn't do it. Otherwise I broadly agree.

Oh is this covid nonsense making a "come back"? Tell teacher shes your child and no you wont be sticking things up her nose and down her throat for absolutely no reason. Its a cold she will be fine. Our children have suffered enough with this covid BS

Yes. Why do teachers think theyre any different than anyone else who works, or goes shopping or leaves the house every day. Get a grip

Good God 🤣🤣🤣

Well said!

This is a depressing thread to read. Covid has disabled me and ruined my life. There are 2 million of us in the UK alone and many of them are kids, their lives changed because of the Government's policy of letting it rip. You're following the guidelines but the guidelines are unsustainable. Schools are struggling with teachers with repeated infections, kids off sick more and more frequently. No testing = more infections. Covid has not become a cold, it is still disabling people, ignoring it isn't making it go away.