DDs school want me to COVID test her, AIBU to say no?

[mybossisaprick]

Dd, who is in primary school, has got the cold that’s been going round. She’s not too unwell in herself, and is happily playing, but she has a husky voice and a cough. She’s maybe a bit more tired than normal, but nothing that would mean she would need to stay off school. If she was unwell enough to miss school, I’d keep her off.

Her teacher pulled me aside at pickup time and asked me if she’d taken a COVID test. I said no, she hadn’t. Teacher asked me why not, and I explained that she wasn’t unwell enough to miss school, and so there was no point testing her for COVID. Teacher said that I should test her anyway, and if positive she should stay home. I explained that myself and my partner both have to work, we don’t get enough leave as it is, and whilst if DD was actually unwell in herself and couldn’t go to school, one of us could stay off with her, but since she’s not, we really don't have the resources to be taking time off. Also, I don’t have easy access to tests and I’d rather not buy a test when I don’t need to.

AIBU to tell this teacher that I wouldn’t be testing DD?

In retail, you aren't sitting in an overcrowded space in close proximity to the same people (who then pass viruses on to their classmates and increase the viral load). In primary, there are vertainly children who sneeze / cough without covering their mouth and nose. Teachers / TAs aren't special - but the conditions are not the same as most workplaces.

You are still giving Covid way too much importance in your life, to be fair. People do not care any more, and fewer and fewer people are going to care going forward. You can accept that fact, or you can waste precious energy getting upset that the world has moved on.

I think YABU to have sent a child to school with a cold that's heavy enough to cause a husky voice, amd presumably without a mask too.

Yes, you should test. Covid is still here, and it's still causing problems for people with chronic illnesses, people doing chemo, the very young, and the old.

Your problems with leave/ sick days are not the teacher's or the classmates' to solve.

So it's all about the feelz now?

The only thing that matters about a serious virus is how 'people' feel about it, and people who take it seriously are out of touch?

That's a bullying mentality.

No, no. Bullying is forcing kids who are perfectly well enough to be at school, to stay at home, further damaging their education, because the mild condition they are experiencing might cause someone else to be more poorly.

Thats bullying.

I think people have a responsibility to test if unwell and isolate if positive, an old person could be killed catching it.

@SwingTheMonkey No, that is NOT bullying.
I think you should perhaps educate yourself a little and look up the actual definition.

People also have a responsibility to go to work, put a roof over theirs and their children's heads, food on the table and clothes on their backs.

What is it people are not getting about workplace policies and being forced to follow them, or face getting the sack?

Let me guess you have a job where you can work from home ?And have no understanding if those who don't ?

I tested positive on Tuesday last and only just feeling better now. Aches, headache, terrible sinus pain, loss of taste and smell and was barely able to keep my eyes open.

Covid is NOT just a cold to many.

If you can test and isolate, you should.

I’ve just tested positive today and feel absolutely dreadful - I’m planning on isolating until I’m negative just because it’s an asshole thing to do to make other people ill, with what can be quite a nasty virus, so close to Christmas. This is my 4th bout of covid and every time my DC have caught it too, their symptoms have been a lot milder. So just because your DD isn’t too bad doesn’t mean that adults or vulnerable people she passes it on to will be as lucky.

Lovely for you but people are not Arse holes because they need to.work nor are they selfish in fact I would say it was more selfish expecting people to test ,stay at home and potentially lose their job putting their own family at risk ,just in case the pass on a virus to some hypothetical stranger

SOME employers expect their employees in regardless. My boss told me to stay at home for four days with a cold (I had done numerous tests). And no, I couldn't work from home.

Not all employers are draconian.

@VanityDiesHard

There are so many colds and viruses around, Covid is not special. We just have to get on with it. The world stopped for nearly two years! If the panickers had their way we would be locked down to this day.

• Covid is a novel virus (that means 'new' to everyone's immune system, FYI), and that gives it a different status, yes?
• No, we would not be still locked down, as we have this wonderful tool now called a 'vaccine'. When we didn't have that and the virus was surging, lockdowns helped tamp down infections. They aren't needed now.

Does that help?

@SwingTheMonkey

No, no. Bullying is forcing kids who are perfectly well enough to be at school, to stay at home, further damaging their education, because the mild condition they are experiencing might cause someone else to be more poorly.

Thats bullying.

It isn't bullying. In the first instance, it doesn't sound like the child should be in school. Education won't be damaged by a couple of days at home. And why is it okay for someone else to be made "more poorly"? If another child is more poorly, won't they then be forced into school absence?

Just test as the teacher is requesting. Don't make other people ill.

Yes some do but not all My husband works for the biggest super market Iin the uk they expect their employees in as d does that ittle known service known as the NHS ! You are lucky

Have they got vulnerable children/child in the school?
I know a school which the staff need to test and stay off if positive. The school tried to encourage parents to test but most don't. It's difficult when their are medically vulnerable children

My child goes to a special school for children with severe and profound learning disabilities some children have multiple and profound disabilities and are extremely vulnerable they are tube fed and are on oxygen I'm still expected to send my son into school regardless of whether he tests positive of Covid if he's well enough

My daughter 13 was sent home today.

At around 8pm she told me the deputy head told her to do a test at home. I don't have any. Where do I get them? Can she not go back until she's done one? 😬😬

I'm not in the UK, but thinking back over my working life none of my employers "expected" people to come in when they were sick. People made their own decision about whether they were well enough to work or not, and that was that.

In the first instance, it doesn't sound like the child should be in school.

@CouchCat Why would a child with a cold mild enough that they are still happily playing, need time off school? If I kept my children off every time they had a cold in the winter months, their attendance would be dire.

I think if your child has a cold that is affecting their voice, causing a cough and is more tired, she’d benefit from a couple of days rest staying in the warm. Teachers are used to kids having a bit of a sniffle or cold and don’t mention it, for the teacher to mention it, she must appear poorly in school.

Yeah, and if you followed the teachers advice and they tested positive for Covid and the child missed a few days of school, you'd find yourself in an attendance meeting next term.

School policy is usually to get kids in at all times to get 100% attendance which leads to kids going in when they are unwell and spreading all sorts of viruses.

You do what you need to do, OP, for your daughter if she feels fine to go in.

From the OP: "husky voice and a cough. She’s maybe a bit more tired than normal" and the teacher asked OP to test, so felt it was necessary.

I agree that it does seem sometimes kids are off sick all the time. But doesn't it make more sense not to spread those illnesses around a small, stuffy room full of children and adults, complicating the problem?

I'll note, too, that the OP has only posted once, so this could be all theoretical anyway.