To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

[Bananacup]

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

I don't think "less of" people who send these sorts of cards but I do feel the same as you over why do people bother with the mass obligated card exchange year after year over it for the sake of writing names on cardboard over Hallmark's message? I guess there's people who love sending/receiving them and see the card as a gift and then there's those who are doing it because of ... obligation. Personally, I opted out over "mass carding" in my 20's (I'm 50 now) as I found it meaningless. I currently send around 8 or so cards to closer friends I don't see at Christmas and write something meaningful in each. Usually I just thank them for our friendship this year, add a liner over connecting the following year and so on. I do run out of things to say each year, though and in ways, it does feel forced even over this but on the other hand, it's nice to have a small number of cards to pretty up my cork board.

I agree

Hate to think of people I like going to pointless effort. Would much rather they played with their kids, watched TV, whatever they want

Well, OP, just message all the wankers and tell them not to send you cards. Sorted.

I send cards to keep connections going as I'm on the other side of the world, and love getting them. This year I've cut out those who don't respond - an email qualifies - as they evidently don't care.

Tbh I would be happy to get any Christmas card! Not many people are big on sending them around my way…plus I don’t have that many friends or family 😅

Typical birthday card in our house is, "Happy birthday Daddy! You are the best daddy ever. I love you more than YouTube shorts. Please have a wonderful day."

Or for a friend

"Happy birthday! You are such an inspiration. I continue to be in awe of how you are so beautifully dealing with all the shit that was thrown at you this year. Looking forward to camping with you again i hope, a highlight of 2023. Hope you get thoroughly spoiled today."

I mean it's not hard, those took 30 seconds to make up

But why does them going to "pointless" effort make you think less of them. Why do you think less of them if they send a generic card than if they send no card? That's the bit I don't get. You don't want to write an essay yourself, so you don't send cards. But you're better than your friends who do send cards with no personalised note for some reason? Is that because you think they're a bit dim? Wasteful? If you don't like the waste, just tell them you don't want cards. Ask that they donate to charity on your behalf instead. Thinking "less" of your friends is just not a very nice way to think of people who have gone to some trouble on your behalf, verses non.

Oh no, I think people who send none at all are very sensible!

It's the people who treat me like they're my accountant (ie send a nothing card) that feel more distant

That makes no sense. They could be sending no card because they genuinely don't think of you at all.

It's because it is cold and distancing. Like sending someone a text that is just a full stop, or calling someone and hanging up rather than speaking. Because you can't think of anything to say or can't be arsed. Just don't send the text? Just don't call? Just don't send a nothing card?

More cold and distancing than ignoring their existence entirely? Ok then.

I'd be grateful someone has taken the time and spent the money to send you a card. The card has the message printed on it - it's to wish you a happy Christmas! I think these days everyone stays up to date with people's lives through more instant media such as Facebook or WhatsApp. The card is a token to show they wish you good times. When you wrap a present you don't put an essay on the tag, a card is kind of a step down from that lol.

@Bananacup please identify yourself, because I'd be over the moon if you're on my list and I can knock you off!

You're already being rude and your thoughts of them/their gesture is to think they're a bit 'less than' yourself...the words are just the notification, so why worry? I don't think they'll give it too much headspace either, and it sounds as if you're ready for up to 90 percent of such relationships to drift if you only think that their correspondence is a formality that says they feel no more than that you 'exist' for them.

I suggest you buy a whole load of Christmas cards and send them to all your friends with a message that says “please don’t send me any cards ever again I am not at all grateful for them can’t see the point and think you are wasting your time. Your former friend

My father sent a card to my mother his ex and didn’t name us his blood children labelled us with the expression ‘and family’ because he couldn’t be bothered to remember our his children’s names individually or wanted to project we weren’t his family ? Who knows but that stung.

Seriously? You are offended by your friends and family thinking of you at Christmas and sending you a message to tell you so. Some people have far too much time on their hands

I hate those type of long "personal" messages in cards. Much rather a lovely simple Merry Christmas. I also hate long text messages and take one look, see they are long and close them. Lifes too short to be readng a load of twaddle in Christmas cards too.

The Daddy one fair enough but if i got the one you're suggesting for a friend I'd think you'd gone mad

So op, say you have two relatives - one doesn’t send you anything, the other sends you a card wishing you a merry Xmas.
your interpretation of that is the first relative cares more about you than the second?
I mean, each to their own but that’s bananas

Yes, the first one I think has a busy life. The second one I think is a bit dim and doesn't have much to do

Different styles I guess. This would be standard for my friends/family. Birthday cards are an opportunity to take stock of the year, and express what the person means to you

I’m surprised at the flak OP is getting here. I agree that just writing your name and often posting it in an envelope with a computer generated name and address label doesn’t suggest much more than ticking off a name on a list. But why do so many people suggest the alternative to a bald name is a ‘virtual essay’? I don’t want one of those either. Surely just two or three sentences showing you’ve given a little thought to the recipient is the ideal.

Are you this much of a miserable bitch in real life? Talk about putting yourself on a pedestal and thinking you’re so much better than everyone else.

You really don’t get that when someone has lots of cards to write they don’t have the time to write personalised messages - but the fact they’ve thought “oh I really like banana, I want to send them a card this year” means they think less of you than someone who’s written a 100 cards to other people and decided you didn’t make the cut. Your logic is baffling.

i honestly can’t believe you get that many cards if you are like this in real life, which suggests you’re 2 faced and just bitch behind their backs.

@Irismarle - I don't see what is wrong with address labels - using them has made a time consuming task that bit easier. I write a lot of cards - my choice - I enjoy sending them and receiving cards in return - but when I have nearly 70 cards to write and post, adding two or three sentences to each one would easily triple how long it takes me - and frankly I don't have the time or the energy.

I have long covid and depression, so I am permanently exhausted - but I still want to send Christmas cards. I'd rather send cards to all the people I usually send to, but without a personal message in every one than only send a handful of cards. If that means I've taken some shortcuts, so be it.

Frankly it saddens me to know that there are people out there who get a card, without a personal note in it, and instead of thinking 'That's nice - X thought enough of me to send me a card', they think 'Urgh - what a lazy mare X is - why bother sending me a card if you won't write a message in it!'

"Sadly I get one or two less every year because people are oh so busy"

When you get to my age, @Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong, you get fewer cards each year because people have died. I had to cross my mum off my Christmas card list this year.