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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

339 replies

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 13:41

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 12/12/2023 17:36

DH puts funny messages in birthday cards. It does indeed take 30 seconds, and a lifetime's study of what people will like. Not everyone does it. 'Happy birthday and many happy returns' is sufficient for most purposes.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/12/2023 17:37

Good grief. I honestly don’t understand how people can function in society if they have time to worry about things like this.

I’m doing well if I have time to send a single Christmas card.

Oldtigernidster · 12/12/2023 17:39

I sincerely hope you are not on my Christmas card list.

Behindyouiam · 12/12/2023 17:39

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 13:41

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

Some of us are busier than others...

Bananamam4 · 12/12/2023 17:40

I dont think many people can be bothered with cards anymore, at least you got one off the person 😊

ToWhitToWhoo · 12/12/2023 17:42

I like a nice card! And it means that people are thinking of me.

I feel uncomfortable with this sort of touchiness about people having to pass some sort of test as to how much 'holiday effort' they are making for you, that sometimes comes up on Mumsnet. I had thought that this thread was going to be about perceiving cards as wasteful or environmentally unfriendly. Which I can understand, though I don't share the view myself. But it seems a pity to be insulted by friendly gestures because they don't go as far as you'd like.

Rachand23 · 12/12/2023 17:50

Consider yourself fortunate to have received a card!

Runnersandtoms · 12/12/2023 17:52

I kind of agree. I send e-cards to everyone except a handful of people who aren't online. But I make a point of actually trying to write a message which is vaguely personalised, even if it's just " hope you are all well and Jane and John are enjoying school" or whatever. Because as you say just saying Happy Christmas is very generic and a bit pointless.

OShoey · 12/12/2023 17:53

Which other ways? Most ways impact the environment, if that's your main concern. Cards that can be recycled probably aren't as bad as all the fuel used to go and visit someone, or the fuel used to power devices we use to send texts, emails and attached etc. and run the servers required to store all the data. So if that's your excuse, you'd probably best get a new one!

Runnersandtoms · 12/12/2023 17:56

PieAndLattes · 11/12/2023 15:33

What do you want them to write? Do you really care that Tabitha got into the school netball team or Orlando dug a well in Nepal? I’m amazed you’re still getting cards at all. We neither get nor send them apart from the few from relatives with cash in them - now those the children do like!

Actually I genuinely would like to know what people and their kids are up to if I don't see them often. This is the thing I miss about Facebook, most people don't put any pics or info about their kids up anymore. I love it on the rare ocassions people do, so I can marvel at how their kids are growing up etc. A friend of mine's son went to the Scout Jamboree in Korea, another one is working backstage at a theatre. I'm interested in that and unless they put it on FB or in a card I wouldn't know about it.

Greenshed · 12/12/2023 18:05

I don’t t think Xmas cards are meant to contain an essay, to be honest. Surely it’s the thought that counts - someone has thought about you and sent you a card, but it appears this isn’t good enough? How sad that you think like this OP.

ChaniceKobolowski · 12/12/2023 18:06

You’d really hate me then. I get photo cards printed with about 4 different pictures from the year and the message that I compose to be printed on them, plus I get the flat cards so it doesn’t even stand up 😂 I spend a long time choosing everything and send them to the important people in my life, I think they like them. I send them because I want to wish them well for Christmas and the new year and I prefer to send a card than a text message.

I love reading a round robin newsletter more than anything. Even if I don’t know the author.

Mumabearwithme · 12/12/2023 18:07

I wish this was all I had to worry about, yes YABU.

Mojolostforever · 12/12/2023 18:09

The professionally offended are out today.
I haven't got time to write updates of my life to each person I send a card to.

They wouldn't be interested anyway. The only thing I get offended by is when we send a card to a couple and then find out that one of them died last January and no-one let us know.

That is really inconsiderate and would be upsetting to the surviving person to receive a card meant for both of them.

Illbebythesea · 12/12/2023 18:13

It’s a nice way of saying I thought of you, I hope you have a good Christmas. It doesn’t need to say more, they bought you a card, wrote it & sent it. Don’t be such an arsehole!

Thegoodbadandugly · 12/12/2023 18:13

I'm just so lost for words apparently you don't have time to write out a ten page essay on a Christmas card yet you have time to sit on Mumsnet and make a thread about it!!! Op I am sure there are lot's of people out there that would just love to receive one card just saying Merry Christmas on it.

Original poster
Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:17

Anyotherdude · 12/12/2023 15:19

At a time when everyone has a million things to do, you’re upset that they didn’t spend 10 minutes writing you a personal message?
It’s not all about you, you know.
What you also quite seem to don’t know is how many other people they have to send cards out to, and how they are feeling about getting everything ready for their own family. YABU!

Just don't send them at all then. What I'm saying is that for me a card with no message is worse than nothing

OP posts:
Original poster
Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:19

Oldtigernidster · 12/12/2023 17:39

I sincerely hope you are not on my Christmas card list.

Me too!

OP posts:
Kenwoodmixitup · 12/12/2023 18:22

@pinguins - well said!

Original poster
Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:22

ChaniceKobolowski · 12/12/2023 18:06

You’d really hate me then. I get photo cards printed with about 4 different pictures from the year and the message that I compose to be printed on them, plus I get the flat cards so it doesn’t even stand up 😂 I spend a long time choosing everything and send them to the important people in my life, I think they like them. I send them because I want to wish them well for Christmas and the new year and I prefer to send a card than a text message.

I love reading a round robin newsletter more than anything. Even if I don’t know the author.

This sounds nice though? Assuming you are putting some kind of message in that isn't just Merry Christmas

It does baffle me the dozen or so cards I've received this year where they've gone to the trouble of getting a family photo printed but still no personal message whatsoever. It's like making and sending someone a blank postcard

OP posts:
Original poster
Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:25

Greenshed · 12/12/2023 18:05

I don’t t think Xmas cards are meant to contain an essay, to be honest. Surely it’s the thought that counts - someone has thought about you and sent you a card, but it appears this isn’t good enough? How sad that you think like this OP.

They haven't thought about me, though. They've thought 'bananacup exists' and nothing else. It is like calling someone and then hanging up without saying anything, and thinking the other person should be grateful for it

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 12/12/2023 18:26

Er...i write approx 50 xmas cards.
No way I am writing everyone an essay. Be thankful for the thought and intent not the actual message.
First world problem , indeed. No offence intended.

anon666 · 12/12/2023 18:27

But then again, what about the ones with a round robin letter. You can't win!

EdithStourton · 12/12/2023 18:29

Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:25

They haven't thought about me, though. They've thought 'bananacup exists' and nothing else. It is like calling someone and then hanging up without saying anything, and thinking the other person should be grateful for it

Show quote history

Actually, they have thought:
Bananacup exists
I'd like to keep in contact with Bananacup (maybe they see you on FB, maybe not)
I'll write this card
I'll address the envelope
Yes, maintaining contact with Bananacup is worth the cost of a card and an extortionate stamp.

If I found out that someone I sent a card to with no additional guff felt as you do, I'd think, well sod them, then - at least I bloody tried!

Ihaterhymingrabbit · 12/12/2023 18:29

Verv · 11/12/2023 13:43

Alternatively, they just want to say "Merry Christmas" and not pen an essay about how they're fine but the cat has got new tablets.

This has cracked me up because although I wouldn’t write it in a Christmas cards, it would factually explain my week this week 🤣🤣

I'm kind of fine but the cat has got new tablets 🤣🤣