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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

339 replies

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 13:41

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

OP posts:
RedRedScab · 12/12/2023 19:51

Christmas really does bring out the worst in people doesn't it?

butterpuffed · 12/12/2023 19:51

I suggest , OP , that you tell people who haven't put a message in their card to you , what you do with them , i.e. that you put them in the bin . They won't send you any more , problem solved .

By the way , I think the fact that you put most of your cards in the bin is much worse than not putting a personal message in a card .

Nanof8 · 12/12/2023 19:54

I'm just glad to get something in my mailbox that isn't junk or a bill. Often my cards just have a short thinking of you and my name.
I'll even send cards other times of the year with out more than a line or two in it.
I do try to match my cards with the recipient .

loserssaywhat · 12/12/2023 19:54

I couldn’t care less about cards, I wouldn’t care if I never got one, they are a waste of money and they end up in the bin. I send everyone a message wishing them a merry Christmas, I mass send it as well. My head would melted trying to think of a lovely personal message to write to write in cards to 20 odd people.

Jumpingthruhoops · 12/12/2023 19:55

It can already take forever to write out Christmas cards in the way you describe... can you imagine how long it would take to write a personal message in each one? You'd probably still be writing them once Christmas is over!

If you're really offended by these greetings, though, do let the senders know, so they can strike you off their Christmas card list going forward.

There, problem solved!

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 12/12/2023 19:57

Nicaced10 · 12/12/2023 19:21

Genuinely not once in my entire life have I ever thought about this. I appreciate people making an effort no matter how small. I honestly think if you’re at this point in life with something so utterly ridiculous then you need change.

Well said!

I am genuinely happy when I receive a card because someone has thought of me. Sadly I get one or two less every year because people are oh so busy which I know is bollocks because they find time for social media and a variety of streaming services etc. I feel those that remain in touch now that the social convention of having to send cards is gone are the people that truly appreciate me and mean something to me.

ChaniceKobolowski · 12/12/2023 19:58

Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:22

This sounds nice though? Assuming you are putting some kind of message in that isn't just Merry Christmas

It does baffle me the dozen or so cards I've received this year where they've gone to the trouble of getting a family photo printed but still no personal message whatsoever. It's like making and sending someone a blank postcard

Show quote history

Oh I do a generically personal message, if you can have such a thing, only about 4 lines, I’m not writing an essay. This year’s thanks people for their love and support during 2023 and tells them how much we value their friendship…plus a little extra text and more articulately put.

Pizdietz · 12/12/2023 19:59

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 17:33

It's not really a line of communication though, is it?

"You exist"
"Yes, so do you."

12 months later:
"I am still alive."
"Me too."

12 months later:
"Still here."
"I live at the same place."

12 months later:
"Haven't moved. Still alive."
"Me neither. Me too."

Show quote history

I'm right with you, OP, it really depresses me too.

I love your comparisons with texting someone a full stop, or phoning them and hanging up. Yesssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck this shit!!!!

TheAlchemistElixa · 12/12/2023 20:00

DaftFlerken · 11/12/2023 13:53

OP do you wright a lovely personal message in every card you send? I hope it's a different message tailored to the person your writing it to?

Well I’m one of the ones that do! But that’s one of several reasons that I don’t send that many 🤣

Toptotoe · 12/12/2023 20:00

How different we all are! I'm grateful to receive a card and know that I was in someone's thoughts but then I tend to be a glass half full person most of the time.

MarvellousMonsters · 12/12/2023 20:02

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 11/12/2023 13:46

I think if 90% of your cards are like this it probably shows it's quite normal. However I'd rather not recieve cards in general as i think they're a bit of a waste of time/money/bad for environment etc and would keep in touch with people in other ways.

Same. I think they are a waste of time, money and paper. My mum still writes a 'review of the year' and prints it off and puts it inside Christmas cards, would that please you or be too impersonal because it's not hand written? Hmm

BingoWings85 · 12/12/2023 20:03

I really like receiving Christmas cards. I like seeing them on the doormat, I like opening them to see who they’re from, I like the pictures and I like displaying them over Christmas. I don’t mind whether they just say names or whether they have a more personal message inside, although I don’t like those round robin braggy Christmas newsletters some people do.

I find it a bit sad Christmas cards are a dying habit. When I was a child - when it was much more common to send and receive Christmas cards - my mum used to hang every single one we got on a string along the wall in our hall. It felt so festive.

Given the cost of stamps now I think sending someone a Christmas card is quite a generous gesture!

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 12/12/2023 20:06

I’m not from the UK originally and in my country of origin we don’t send letters or cards because the post is so rubbish. However all the messages like birthday wisher or Christmas would have to be quite long (a couple of paragraphs) wishing something that you know that person would like or need (like health, love, prosperity etc) and also include sayings or proverbs or maybe mention the recipients virtue or two. So when I first started sending cards to my family and friends in the UK my DH laughed at me. He said nobody needs to read an essay, you may come across as rude if you imply that the person doesn’t have something (like wishing someone luck in love which is completely normal in my country) and best just to keep it brief. So 99% of cards we receive are also very very brief with the exception for cards from older generation.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 12/12/2023 20:07

I think less of people who, instead of being grateful that someone has made an effort to buy and send a card and show that they are thinking of them, whine because they haven't written a personal message in it.

FudgeSundae · 12/12/2023 20:09

Bananacup · 12/12/2023 18:25

They haven't thought about me, though. They've thought 'bananacup exists' and nothing else. It is like calling someone and then hanging up without saying anything, and thinking the other person should be grateful for it

Show quote history

OP, there are various extended family that I’m
glad exist. I think of them at Christmas, but I don’t actually have anything to say except merry Christmas. If I did, I’d phone them or visit them. I think they feel the same about me - sort of vague affection. I think that’s ok? I like knowing we think of each other at Christmas, without necessarily needing to start a conversation.

FudgeSundae · 12/12/2023 20:11

(And ps our usernames are deeply complementary!)

GonksAreNotJustForChristmas · 12/12/2023 20:13

Have you just watched Best Christmas Ever?

Her friend send her a newsletter every Christmas.

NaughtybutNice77 · 12/12/2023 20:14

When you say 'think less of them'..less than who? People like me who send no cards at all?
I get what you mean but really, do you honestly care that much?

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 12/12/2023 20:16

Sadly I get one or two less every year because people are oh so busy

It might be the price of postage, @Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong - it's become astronomical. Cards can be expensive too. And don't get me started on what you have to pay for wrapping paper ...

BooBooDoodle · 12/12/2023 20:26

Imagine those of us that still send cards wrote a bloody essay in them? Get over yourself. You’ve been thought off and sent a card. Why do you expect more? It’s a gesture, a well wish and at a very busy time of year for most people, you should be grateful your miserable arse has been thought of to send one to.

moomoomoo27 · 12/12/2023 20:27

I've received one Christmas card this year, and I appreciated it.

Also I didn't realise people under 70 wrote anything else in Christmas cards other than their name. I appreciate pensioners do still use them as letters or expect a yearly family update, that's a bit different.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 12/12/2023 20:28

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 12/12/2023 20:16

Sadly I get one or two less every year because people are oh so busy

It might be the price of postage, @Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong - it's become astronomical. Cards can be expensive too. And don't get me started on what you have to pay for wrapping paper ...

Yes that's a fair point.

Cosyblankets · 12/12/2023 20:37

Bananacup · 12/12/2023 15:13

Yes, I would feel someone who just wrote Happy birthday on a birthday card was phoning it in and didn't care about me at all. Unless they were a child who could barely write. Even my eight year old writes more than that! It's not hard. It takes thirty seconds. You can't be arsed to spend 30 seconds actually saying something?

Show quote history

What would you like to see on a birthday card?
I'm someone who no longer does Christmas cards so i know what you mean but you want more than happy birthday on a birthday card?

Arniesleftleg · 12/12/2023 20:45

The way I see it is that they thought enough of you to even send you a card in the first place, especially if they've spent the money on a stamp too! Some people don't like writing sentiments. I get a card from my dad that says 'love Dad', that's it. It's just the way he is. I wouldn't get too upset about it.

whatausername · 12/12/2023 20:53

Moonpig now has a "smart text" option where AI can generate a 'personalised' message. Maybe those cards that say more than "Merry Christmas" aren't really saying anything extra...