To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

[Bananacup]

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

I don’t bother with local cards, work colleagues, people I see every week, that sort of thing.

I mostly send cards to old friends who live a distance away - people I was at university with, or worked with, who I literally don’t see from one year to the next. It’s not because we fell out, but life is busy and time passes quickly, we all have jobs and kids and elderly parents and so on, and finding time to actually meet up is virtually impossible. These are people who I spent time with before social media and mobile phones, so half the time I don’t have their mobile number, and they’re not on Facebook.

So once a year I write them a few paragraphs in a card. I update them on my work, my kids, mutual friends, general chat, a few reminiscences. I often wondered if people cared or even read my cards, as the ones I get back are generally just a couple of lines or even less. But I carry on anyway.

A few years I saw a few of them at a funeral, and they made a point of saying how much they liked my cards, and looked forward to reading them. So I’ll keep on doing it. I’m not expecting others to do the same, but I do always feel slightly disappointed when I open a card hoping for some news, and just see “to X, happy Christmas, from Y.”

Each to their own I suppose, but I personally wouldn’t waste the money on a stamp if all I planned to write was a couple of names.

I have to confess that, each year, I say I’m only going to send to people who send to us - but then I forget to keep note of who we get them from, and end up writing dozens.

But I do like getting cards each year, whether or not they have a personal note in them, so I hope that the people I send to feel like me and aren’t silently judging me.

A typical card from me would be ‘To blah (followed by the printed happy/merry Christmas) lots of love, willWill’.

Unless I haven’t had any sort of contact with them for a couple of years and then I’ll add a little note but not necessarily.

I can't think of a way to tell people not to bother, that isn't rude.

Don’t tell them and continue to just put them in the recycling. It’s not difficult. No need for any drama. They’re probably doing it because ‘tradition’. Why care?

Merry Christmas op.

You are ungrateful OP.
You are the only problem here.
Just send a card back/ text or nothing.
And Merry Christmas!

Yes, I'm not grateful for them, that's the point of the thread.

'Just send a card back' is the worst idea yet on this thread! Why would I perpetuate the madness?

Every year I hope everyone stops bothering and every year so many cards still arrive with nothing in them

I only send cards to people I think will like them. I couldn't care less about cards and would happily send and receive zero but to say you think less of people who send them is daft. It's just a silly tradition that some people enjoy. I know for a fact my grandad, MIL and one of my neighbours love receiving cards and display them very proudly. They also send us cards that say nothing remotely interesting inside.

Just stop sending any op that's what I did. 5 years on I still get a few that still send but I just cut them up and use as tags for next year's presents.

Must say I've lost a lot of interest in Christmas cards in recent years. My 'list' has waned a lot - people have disappeared or died, new friends don't get added as we mostly have contact in real life or on social media anyway.

I do get messages or a letter in some though - long standing friends I either no longer see or rarely see - and I like to hear from them. The others are just signed and that is less fun to get - some from friends and family I see regularly, others from those I never see or otherwise hear from. But it is still nice to be remembered.

So I can't quite give it all up. But it sure is time consuming to write all the messages. I did about 12 the other day (all with messages - basically the same info in each more or less) and it took well over 2 hours. All at an already busy time of the year. So you can't blame people for just signing their name.

This is why I don’t send Christmas cards. I don’t have time and energy to write more than a cursory greeting (‘circulars’ make me cringe a bit) but also think it’s a waste of paper and money to write such a short and impersonal message.

I do value the cards we get - even if they just say "To SDTG, Merry Christmas, love Sidney and Doris". I am pleased to know that Sidney and Doris are still with us (my mum died this year, so maybe I am a bit sensitive to losing people right now), and I put up all the cards we get. We have doors with panes of glass between the sitting room and dining room, and I blutack them on there - it is part of the festive decor.

My mum did something similar - she had sheets of foil wrapping paper, with poster hangers, and every year, we sellotaped the cards onto these, and then they were hung up. She was picky about which cards went up, though - no jolly Santas or funny penguins - I was always careful when I chose her card, to ensure it would meet her standards! 😂 It sounds joyless of her, but I miss it.

Well tell them you don't want them to send cards so that people know how ungrateful you are, they can stop wasting their time and money on you.

I would, if I could find a form of words that wasn't rude. Haven't so far

I didn't know people wrote anything other than merry Christmas and happy new year.
Do you get upset when people write happy birthday on a birthday card?
I don't get what the issue is

Better a thought than no thought at all?

Just come out and say it then, you know you are being rude at this point so just say so.

I'm with you OP, I wrote mine to wish the recipients a lovely Christmas, fantastic year ahead etc, a personal line about how I'm looking forward to seeing them or something.
When I get a card To X, from X I wonder why bother

How about a message like this, @Bananacup -

Dear friends,
I have decided that, from now on, I will not be sending any Christmas cards, but will be making a donation to X charity instead. Please feel free to do the same regarding a card for me.

Yours,
@Bananacup.

I always thought the card itself was the effort. It's just seasonal good wishes, no other msg required. I had no idea ppl were upset by this. I'm always pleased if someone sends me a card, though I never expect it.

Yes, I would feel someone who just wrote Happy birthday on a birthday card was phoning it in and didn't care about me at all. Unless they were a child who could barely write. Even my eight year old writes more than that! It's not hard. It takes thirty seconds. You can't be arsed to spend 30 seconds actually saying something?

At a time when everyone has a million things to do, you’re upset that they didn’t spend 10 minutes writing you a personal message?
It’s not all about you, you know.
What you also quite seem to don’t know is how many other people they have to send cards out to, and how they are feeling about getting everything ready for their own family. YABU!

I disagree. The "no care taken" is when someone sends me a Christmas card that has the words "oh and happy Birthday" or a birthday card with "Oh and Merry Christmas" written on either. It's like saying "I can't be bothered to get and write 2 out so you'll have to make do with this".

It’s not all about you, you know.

If it's not about the receiver, why bother then? Just to tick a box that you have added another task to your long to-do list, even if you don't care about the receipient or what the receipient thinks? Done your duty?

I send Christmas letters - the much despised round robin - which goes inside the card with a brief personal message (v.brief - cards take ages and I limit myself to a single sheet because otherwise postage goes up). What else do you expect? A screed on the cat's diabetes tablets and how Madrigal is doing at uni? Why would anyone? Do you write long messages?