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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think less of people who send these Christmas cards

339 replies

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 13:41

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

OP posts:
angelfacecuti75 · 12/12/2023 18:34

You could say , "Hi everyone ...Know that my love for you does not equate to a Christmas card so from now on I will be donating the money to my wine/booze/sex ,drugs and rock & roll fund /charity of your choice. Or ...I don't send xmas cards I can't be bothered /can't afford it...."

Greenshed · 12/12/2023 18:34

Actually Bananacup they have thought of you - they’ve thought enough of you to send you a card, but it seems to me that you think it should contain much more within it than just your name and theirs. Perhaps you should just say in your card to them, “please don’t send me any more cards as you don’t say enough in them so don’t bother” and have done with it.

TinselTinsel · 12/12/2023 18:34

I stopped sending cards years ago .

GonksAreNotJustForChristmas · 12/12/2023 18:36

@Bananacup you sound like hardwork.

Nosleepforthismum · 12/12/2023 18:41

I’m curious as to what you would consider an acceptable Christmas card? It’s not really like sending a WhatsApp where you can ask questions about how they/their family are. So you are left with doing a monologue about what you and your family are up to. In my head, it’s something like this:

Dear Bananacup

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Hope you are well. We are all in good health, apart from Auntie Jean who is having problems with her bowels again. We went on a lovely holiday recently (which you know as you liked our Facebook pics) and we are hoping to redo our kitchen in the new year.

Love from

X

Not sure if this is the kind of thing you mean or is it??

GonksAreNotJustForChristmas · 12/12/2023 18:46

@Nosleepforthismum 😁

OP, has someone in particular sent you one that has pissed you off. Maybe, someone who married someone you had the hots for and you think she's a bitch?

Just wondering how something like receiving a standard Christmas card would annoy you so much.

Ap24 · 12/12/2023 18:49

Much better than receiving a round robin letter, although I'd rather not bother with cards at all.

venus7 · 12/12/2023 18:57

10HailMarys · 11/12/2023 14:02

If 90% of the cards you get are like that, and you think that makes the senders rude/thoughtless/lazy/crap, you must be pretty damn lonely by now.

The entire purpose of a Christmas is literally just to wish the recipient a happy Christmas. That’s what they’re for. You can stay in touch for life updates all year round, if you want them. You do know the whole ‘round robin’ family update thing is a really recent development, right? A Christmas card’s proper purpose is to give good wishes at Christmas and provide something decorative to display. If you want a detailed personal update, you can bloody WhatsApp them and ask for one any time you like.

People took the time to buy a card, write it, pay for a stamp and post it in order to wish you a merry Christmas, and you ‘think less of them’. Aren’t you just the epitome of Christmas spirit, eh?

Exactly this....the purpose of a Christmas card is to wish you a merry Christmas; not to tell you about the neighbours, the dog's rash, the state of the nation, the aging shed, the disappointing book they read in June, the cost of washing up liquid or the unfortunate haircut they had in Cirencester.

hellhavenofury35 · 12/12/2023 18:59

Oh lord, just be grateful you got a card. What more do you want. With social media everyone knows everything about everyone anyway.

ChristmasSteps295 · 12/12/2023 19:02

I wouldn't be able to think of a nice message to write to you either.

jhy · 12/12/2023 19:07

Given the number of people who actually send Christmas cards these days - I think a lot of them and their thoughtfulness, time and effort to actually write and send a Christmas card.

That in itself is a big thing.

nomadmummy · 12/12/2023 19:09

OP...this the season to be GRATEFUL.

Fa la la la la la la la.....

vickylou78 · 12/12/2023 19:10

But don't most cards you buy already have a Christmas message inside them? Are you seriously saying everyone has to write a personal message in addition to that to every person they send a card to?? Who has time for that?
Surely you just appreciate someone has thought about you and taken time to send you a card to say merry Christmas!

TommyNever · 12/12/2023 19:15

I add a longer message to the cards I send to relatives and friends I don't often see.

But the ones who are part of my everyday life do indeed just get the "Merry Christmas from Tommy!" and they don't expect anything else. And I get a similar brief greeting in the cards they send me.

BlueMongoose · 12/12/2023 19:19

It costs a quid at least for a decent card, and a minimum of 75p to post it- over a quid if it goes 1st class. That's a lot more than sending an email, and people send them not just to wish you season's greetings, but so that you can have something nice and cheerful to put up in your home during the festive season to remind you of their regard for you, and that they haven't forgotten you.

Before postal rates rocketed, I used to send getting on for 200- some to clients and business contacts, the rest to friends. I have pruned that down to about 100 over time. Have you the foggiest idea how long it takes to write a personal message in each card? For people I see regularly, they don't need to know my news, they already know it, so I just sign. For those I see less often, I do put in a catch-up message, of varying lengths according to how well I know them. For business contacts, I just sign, it's like saying 'Hi, still here and working' and it's more than once got me a job. But doing them all is a big commitment, and I only do it because people tell me they appreciate it. Tell people that their kind gesture is not good enough for you, and I'm sure they would be more than glad to kick you off their list.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/12/2023 19:19

Well, I seem to be in a minority, but I agree with the OP (only post I've read so far). We get fewer and fewer cards every year, which is fine with me, and makes perfect sense given how easy it is to keep in touch using social media these days. However, we always get one card from a couple we knew a long time ago. Our address is printed on a label and stuck onto the envelope. The card says 'Love from X and Y' - not even handwritten, printed! No news whatsoever. We haven't seen them or had any contact other than this card for a decade at least and we don't send them a card any more. Not in touch on social media. What is the point?

When we did send out Christmas cards (I've got it down to the immediate neighbours and my Mum now) I always handwrote the greeting and added a bit of news for people we hadn't seen for a while. Simple good manners.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/12/2023 19:21

I used to feel the same OP, and I wrote at least a couple of personal sentences in each card, sometimes filling the whole card. I've always been good at keeping in touch with people and it comes naturally to me. This was easier in my 20s when I was moving around, new jobs, friends, travels - there was always news!

However, now, at 47, busy with kids, work and elderly parents, I just don't have the time and energy and keep my Xmas card messages minimal. If I had big or exciting news I would definitely put it in, but things like 'Mum's dementia is getting worse / we're skint / DD is still struggling academically at school' aren't really Xmas card material!

Nicaced10 · 12/12/2023 19:21

Genuinely not once in my entire life have I ever thought about this. I appreciate people making an effort no matter how small. I honestly think if you’re at this point in life with something so utterly ridiculous then you need change.

BlueMongoose · 12/12/2023 19:23

Ap24 · 12/12/2023 18:49

Much better than receiving a round robin letter, although I'd rather not bother with cards at all.

I do those to friends/relatives abroad, or who I otherwise see rarely. They do the same. Works for us. I just add anything personal on. It saves things like having to write 30 times things people would want to know, but some of which which I'd rather not have to keep revisiting, like how my father died last year. And saves me about two days' worth of writing.

Notafanofheat · 12/12/2023 19:31

I get what you mean, but have a slightly different take - I would really like for Xmas cards to come blank inside so I can write that Merry Christmas myself (and yes, I could find ones that are blank, but spending 2 centuries picking cards I like designs of and that are blank is what I don’t have time for). I’d like them blank because for some people all I want to say is somewhat personalised version of Merry Christmas (husband’s aunt and uncle who go to the effort of thinking about us but I’ve spoken to once in my life for instance), but as is I incorporate the printed message and for every single person try and think of a more personal sentence or 2 at least (like, “thank you for remembering about us” or „hope it’s been a good year”). If I know more about people I use that, but at the very least I can manage a sentence to show we care (if you don’t get a sentence, I don’t care, I just feel obliged to write you a card- but doing it makes my life easier than not doing it).

notwavingbutdrowning1 · 12/12/2023 19:35

You're confusing a card with a letter, OP. They serve two completely different functions.

Plus - you do sound a bit needy.

Welshinlondonmum · 12/12/2023 19:41

I write about 70 cards all in, so writing a heart felt opus is impossible. This year, most have been written during my lunch break by stealth. I'd rather send a card than none at all. I have a 2 year old, a busy full time job and a house that needs tidying more than an essay on the banality of life to everyone I want to wish a good year too. I'd be grateful to receive anything at all these days. YABU to expect anything more than the 90% 'Merry Xmas'!

Wellhellooooodear · 12/12/2023 19:46

Writing Christmas cards is literally something to tick off a to do list. I absolutely hate writing them, which is why I stopped a couple of years ago, it's a big relief.

SOxon · 12/12/2023 19:47

Bananacup · 11/12/2023 13:41

... to have absolutely no interest in Christmas cards that say 'Merry Christmas from [Sender]'

And that's all

Literally no other message.

You've taken the time to post me a picture of a tree, but you've written no personal message whatsoever? Makes me feel like I'm a box on your to-do list, like the worst kind of business networking. It would have been better to send nothing at all. Just don't bother if you literally have nothing personal or interesting to say.

And about 90% of the Christmas cards I receive are like this!

On reading an interview with Alan Sugar whose family were forbidden to ‘phone him at work, a surprise call from Mrs Sugar, upset as she had just opened a card addressed to her alone, bearing the greeting,
Happy Christmas from Alan Sugar

Hayliebells · 12/12/2023 19:48

I wish there was a way of knowing who thinks like the OP, so I can just cross them off my Xmas card list.