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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being referred to as a girl

161 replies

Genericusers · 11/12/2023 13:12

Earlier a woman maybe in her 50s said "let the girl come past" referring to me, a 30 year old woman. I do look younger but still, 20 something.

Am I being unreasonable that this bothered me a little?

OP posts:
Fionaville · 13/12/2023 01:13

monsteraa · 12/12/2023 12:01

The point is that the word 'girl' is used for a grown woman a lot more often than 'boy' is used for a grown man. And ultimately that's due to the patriarchy and misogyny.

Just to quote @CurlewKate who made the point very well:

🤣when was the last time you heard a man say "I'm off out with my boyfriends?"
"Having a drink with a boy from work" "Could you check with the boy from accounts?" "I met a lovely boy at the gym today!"

Edited
Show quote history

Where I'm from we'd say "A girl from work" or "A lad from work" either could be anywhere from aged 16 to 70. At which point they'd become "An old girl.." or "An old boy.."
I really do think these terms work differently in different areas of the country and shouldn't be given a blanket judgement.

monsteraa · 13/12/2023 07:35

Fionaville · 13/12/2023 01:13

Where I'm from we'd say "A girl from work" or "A lad from work" either could be anywhere from aged 16 to 70. At which point they'd become "An old girl.." or "An old boy.."
I really do think these terms work differently in different areas of the country and shouldn't be given a blanket judgement.

Show quote history

'Lad' is a bit different. There isn't really a female equivalent of 'lad', and it can also refer to men, it's not as infantilising. ('Lass' of course but that's not as widely used).

Boy is the equivalent to girl, so I'm wondering about 'boy' in particular - you wouldn't say 'a boy from work' right?

'There's a boy called Jerry in accounts who helped me a lot today' - no.

'There's a girl called Laura in accounts who helped me a lot today' - fine.

SharonEllis · 13/12/2023 07:48

I hate it. YANBU.

Gwenhwyfar · 13/12/2023 10:28

Cosyblankets · 12/12/2023 20:40

The C suite? You've lost me on that. Am i out of touch with the jargon?

I meant the big bosses, CEO, CFO, COO, etc. Maybe it's a bit American.

I also think whoever says the 'boys in IT' is probably talking about system admins and not computer programmers and it's the same patronising attitudes as towards the secretaries.

Gwenhwyfar · 13/12/2023 10:29

"'There's a boy called Jerry in accounts who helped me a lot today' - no."

I probably would if he was under 25, but not in a formal context.

Gwenhwyfar · 13/12/2023 10:30

"I really do think these terms work differently in different areas of the country and shouldn't be given a blanket judgement."

Yes, but OP and dog lady live in the same place so...

GandalfTheWhite · 13/12/2023 10:36

Never thought I'd see the day when "comic sans" was added to my list of "stupid things people are Offended by" but there you go

Fionaville · 13/12/2023 10:38

monsteraa · 13/12/2023 07:35

'Lad' is a bit different. There isn't really a female equivalent of 'lad', and it can also refer to men, it's not as infantilising. ('Lass' of course but that's not as widely used).

Boy is the equivalent to girl, so I'm wondering about 'boy' in particular - you wouldn't say 'a boy from work' right?

'There's a boy called Jerry in accounts who helped me a lot today' - no.

'There's a girl called Laura in accounts who helped me a lot today' - fine.

Show quote history

For Scousers, girl isn't infantile. I'm thinking about the million different ways that scousers address each other as girl and none of them could be seen as being misogynistic. Lad is the equivalent to girl here too. If somebody gives birth to a male, she's "had a little lad" So lad/girl are equal. It's like the dinner/lunch/tea argument. People from each region know exactly what is implied when they say it.

Fionaville · 13/12/2023 10:48

@Gwenhwyfar Yeah, it's a general point about the name of the post and the comments that followed. Some people hate it, some can't see what the fuss is. It's not all because of age or 'internal misogyny' as some have said. The region makes a big difference.
A scouser saying "Come over here girl!" Versus Jacob Rees-Mogg saying it! World's apart and would be taken very differently.

RedPony1 · 13/12/2023 11:00

I've zero issue with being called a girl and i'm late 30's.

eggandonion · 13/12/2023 11:30

The Boys are back in Town is now stuck in my head.
My first baby was born in Belfast. The woman next to me had a baby girl and had also a toddler son. The father and son were referred to as my boy and my wee boy. And the baby was the wee woman.

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