Being referred to as a girl

[Genericusers]

Earlier a woman maybe in her 50s said "let the girl come past" referring to me, a 30 year old woman. I do look younger but still, 20 something.

Am I being unreasonable that this bothered me a little?

Call me a girl if you like. (I'm 76) but DO NOT refer to me and others as GUYS. I hate that.

Then the 50yr old woman is also oppressed. OP shouldn’t have listened to the woman’s conversation with her dog if she didn’t want to take offence at it.

Yes, internalised misogyny is very common...not sure what point you're making there.

A woman talking to her dog is not sexism, nor internalised misogyny.

Subtle, OP 🤣🤣

It is, if she's referring to an adult woman as a girl. The dog is irrelevant.

It would annoy me at work but otherwise there are bigger and more important issues for women to direct our anger towards in the world

I refer to Harry Styles as 'that young lad' and Google tells me he's 29. Don't fret it, OP. once over 50, I seemed to see everyone under 30 as a kid.

I'm a man, and it seems the London-based team I sometimes work with do use 'boy' in passing sometimes - I'm late 30s and I've heard them refer to me as such occasionally.

I think the core issue is that these days everyone seems to be offended by everything, when there was clearly no intent to do so.

It would depend on who said it. It might be a bit irritating but not something I can lose sleep over. I work for a man of nearly 90 and occasionally bump into him in town so will say hello and he always bellows 'Dear girl!' even though I'm in my 60s. He's from a generation who call all women 'girls' whether they're 16 or 80+, so with him it doesn't bother me at all.

At my workplace several of the senior people are women. They sometimes refer to "the boys" if they're talking about a group of colleagues who are male.

If one of those colleagues stood up and said, "it's MEN actually!!", we would all die laughing

No way would I get worked up over that.

As for referring to adult women as girls. It depends on the context. I.e "You silly girl" would be offensive.

Scousers will say "Alright girl?" to an adult woman. Just as they'll say "Alright lad?" to a man. You'd have to be extra sensitive to be offended by either.
Just as you might not like being called love, Queen, hun, babe or any other term of endearment by a stranger. People aren't robots, they speak the way they speak and no amount of offence taking should change that.

I wouldn’t have taken offence about that when people still called me a girl - or more likely lassie -at that age. Now that I’m much older they’re more likely to say ‘let the wummin past’ followed by ‘sorry hen!’

I feel bad for the dog being raised in a household with internalised misogyny. God knows how he's going to turn out.

I think though that girl is often used to mean 'younger female' by older people.
I certainly wouldn't take offense.

Good grief. OP said she was a bit annoyed by it, not that she was offended worked up over it or made a big deal over it.

Some posters are being more dramatic than they’re accusing and assuming OP is being.

People can dislike something and not be offended by it.

Yes, gonna raise it on MN , that'll show them 😠😂

@sprigatito the dog is not irrelevant! See, this poster is concerned about the dog being raised with internalised misogyny. Who can imagine the horrors that lie ahead?
It’s doing the campaign for actual everyday sexism a disservice to be slagging off some woman online for talking to her dog.

Of course I wouldn't like this at work or if it was said in a demeaning way (it's fairly easy to tell this). But the vast majority of the time I've heard women referred to as "the girls" there's obviously no deeper meaning, and yet there is a specific type of feminist who will choose this as the hill she is most prepared to die on. It is bloody annoying. I once worked with some professional female athletes who were campaigning for greater funding and promotion of their sport, and they referred to their teammates as "the girls" in all their videos, statements etc. If there was any significance at all to it, it was in the camaraderie and solidarity. (Ultimately it was because they were sporty types who would never dream of over-analysing words and it's just what they said naturally.) And the amount of tiresome moaning about the word "girls" we had to deal with, from people who chose to focus on that to the exclusion of these athletes' actual message... it was infuriating.

Was the dog a boy or a girl? Without a blue or pink lead one risks upsetting the owner...if you are the kind of person who has conversations with random dogs.

My elderly grandmother refers to all of her (also elderly) friends as girls. She also thinks women shouldn't play rugby as it could damage our delicate female anatomy. Definitely some oblivious internalised misogyny with calling grown women girls. As PP have mentioned, it doesn't happen as often with men.

Oh For Gods sake

Strangers in the street I don't pay it much attention when a person in a power position used it towards me as part of the working day and in a derogatory manner then I took offence.

Did you say thanks to the woman (and the dog) for letting you past? Or were you too busy getting yourself all worked up over nothing?

I would rather be called 'girl' than 'lady'.

Agree. There was someone on Woman’s Hour this morning who kept talking about girls when she meant women. It really irritated me.