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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being referred to as a girl

161 replies

Genericusers · 11/12/2023 13:12

Earlier a woman maybe in her 50s said "let the girl come past" referring to me, a 30 year old woman. I do look younger but still, 20 something.

Am I being unreasonable that this bothered me a little?

OP posts:
Blink1880 · 11/12/2023 17:57

Bet she misgenders dogs too - calling them all a “good boy”… the horror

tuscanvines · 11/12/2023 17:59

My God.

Northernlass99 · 11/12/2023 18:04

Doesn't bother me most of the time. Except I did hear a boss at work ask some women to come up and deliver their research presentation by calling them girls. I would not be happy in that situation.

AvengedQuince · 11/12/2023 18:07

It feels very odd to me when this happens. Sometimes I will automatically think 'woman' out loud.

RedToothBrush · 11/12/2023 19:09

SerendipityJane · 11/12/2023 13:17

So if a 50 year old man said "Let the lads through" about a bunch of 30 year olds. they should be offended ?

No wonder: i9s com it was so easy train my ne chatGPT template: "Look for things that don't matter and make them into an issue".

Next week: Is comic sans sexist ?

Next week: Is comic sans sexist ?

No but it encompasses all evil known to mankind.

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:13

I saw another thread in which the op was upset lady was used and not girl. Impossible to please everyone!

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:14

@mambojambodothetango where I live elderly men are all referred to as 'old boys'!

CurlewKate · 11/12/2023 19:18

It's absolutely fine to not like this. I'm not a girl-I'm an adult woman. It's infantilising and tedious. Don't do it.

AvengedQuince · 11/12/2023 19:22

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:13

I saw another thread in which the op was upset lady was used and not girl. Impossible to please everyone!

Was she a teenager?

Mrsjayy · 11/12/2023 19:23

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:13

I saw another thread in which the op was upset lady was used and not girl. Impossible to please everyone!

yes some women object to lady especially if it's from young children or shop assistants !

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:24

@AvengedQuince mid twenties I think but not sure, was a while ago!

newnamethanks · 11/12/2023 19:29

Yes YABU. Don't be so bloody precious.

AvengedQuince · 11/12/2023 19:31

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:24

@AvengedQuince mid twenties I think but not sure, was a while ago!

That's ridiculous!

WhatNoUsername · 11/12/2023 19:33

enchantedsquirrelwood · 11/12/2023 13:15

Only on MN does anyone care.

In real life it's a girls' night out, even if the "girls" in question are in their 80s.

And yes, it is a boys' night out too. This is not a feminist hill to die on.

This.

RomeoandJomeo · 11/12/2023 19:36

IsThePopeCatholic · 11/12/2023 13:26

I hate it. It’s really demeaning. I’m a woman . I haven’t been a girl for years. I also hate ‘girls night out’. It’s so silly.

I agree. But I also think there is a difference between a 'girls' night out' (still hate it), and referring to an individual woman as a girl. And I don't think individual men are referred to as boys.

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:37

@RomeoandJomeo when I met dh there was lots of 'will you see that boy again?' etc from friends and he was 26 so it definitely does happen!

WhatNoUsername · 11/12/2023 19:37

Keilagh · 11/12/2023 13:18

I’m 29 and most women I know still refer to themselves as girls. I think it’s just becoming more common nowadays.

It's not more common. I am in my 50s and it's always been the case. People just like to get offended at everything these days! That's the only thing that's changed!

CurlewKate · 11/12/2023 19:38

@WhatNoUsername "Only on MN does anyone care."

In my experience, it's only on Mumsnet that people do competitive not caring. It's very odd.

WhatNoUsername · 11/12/2023 19:41

sprigatito · 11/12/2023 14:12

Yes, internalised misogyny is very common...not sure what point you're making there.

Jesus I've heard it all now! lol.

CurlewKate · 11/12/2023 19:42

@WhatNoUsername "Jesus I've heard it all now! lol."

Obviously not-several things seem to be new to you....

Mrsjayy · 11/12/2023 19:47

RomeoandJomeo · 11/12/2023 19:36

I agree. But I also think there is a difference between a 'girls' night out' (still hate it), and referring to an individual woman as a girl. And I don't think individual men are referred to as boys.

Show quote history

where I'm from men are definitely "boys" even old men can be boys.

bakewellbride · 11/12/2023 19:49

@WhatNoUsername so true!

SALWARP2023 · 11/12/2023 20:00

Ha ha. I work in a care home and get called a girl all the time. I'm nearly 60! No I'm not offended just amused.

squeekychicken · 11/12/2023 20:53

I refer to my female friends as girls. I'm not offended and neither are they. It would be weird to say 'I'm going out with the women'.

Bellyblueboy · 11/12/2023 21:05

squeekychicken · 11/12/2023 20:53

I refer to my female friends as girls. I'm not offended and neither are they. It would be weird to say 'I'm going out with the women'.

Would you do it in work? Refer to your finance director as a girl?

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