To think my friends husband is lying!

[Kate0902900908]

Ok so friends husband over the course of a year has had a tia (mini stroke), various muscle issues- which when explained make absolutely no sense, a suspected heart attack, panic attacks (in which he has driven himself to the hospital mid attack), numbness in limbs, sensitivity to light meaning he can’t leave the bedroom, vertigo, a lazy eye in which his retina is affected and now after a private MRI (he had to pay for it as NHS would not do one he says) he was given a USB of the pictures which his GP looked at and told him he has neck/brain lesions. He is now awaiting funding to see if the NHS will pay for an MRI under neurology (this is what he has told wife)

• friend has never been to 1 appointment.
• She has never been to A&E once when all this was supposedly happening
• when he has been to A&E he has been uncountable for hours at a time
• he sometimes goes away to get away from health related things which consists of remote gateways again uncontactable for periods of time.
• when they went on a break together spent most of the time in the hotel alone as just too sick

she doesn’t seem to think this is all a bit bizarre and tells the stories like it’s normal and poor guy. He during all of this has continued to drive, work and drink.

I’m almost subconsciously certain he’s living a double life.

Oh, ok then

Health records are protected as confidential, so if your hunch is right then his is a clever guy!

Whats your friends reason for never being at the hospital?
I have health issues but my partner doesn't accompany me to the hospital every time, in fact only in pregnancy he has. I'm an adult, we have kids to look after, work to attend to... the fact your friend doesn't think it's a lie gives you no reason whatsoever to think that.
Maybe he's one of these health hypochondriacs so your friend doesn't pay it much thought.
Lying about health issues is a big thing and would be found out one day so it would be a pretty pointless cover up

Double life definitely!!

No letters to the house? My dad lost his licence temporarily after a series of mini strokes

Has he had an optician appointment? Eyesight can change after tia also

Is he now taking blood thinners?

If he’s lying to her, I would have thought it more likely that he’s got some sort of hypochondria/Munchausen’s type thing going on than that he’s leading a double life.

I wouldn't judge him because he's able to drive to a hospital whilst mid panic attack. I've done it.

Brain lesions... told this by a GP, not a consultant or consultants minion.. and still drives?

Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

I have a lot of chronic illness and physical disability, and whilst the 'lay persons' explanations of some of these may not make immediate sense to a non-medical person, my DP has been to billions of appointments, mopped up the sick, cleaned up the poo, watched me have to swap work shifts, I have the NHS provided wheelchair, motability car... etc etc.

To have all this going on and zero actual evidence of any of it... and still driving... does sound exceedingly unlikely.

However you can't tell her, she may have her doubts already but be clinging to the idea that others don't - if you reveal you DO, that may actually make matters worse for her.

Better to just be there for her when it all inevitably implodes.

Not sure how I'd resist asking him how come he is still driving though....

He is definitely having an affair. Most men do at some point, and use bizarre excuses.

There would be things if you were married to him that you could do to find out the truth, but it looks like her head is firmly in the sand. some people just do not want to see the truth.

Agreed.

If he is having an affair then he is incredibly clever to use health issues as a cover.

If he has limb numbness and diagnosed brain lesions the nhs would be suspecting multiple sclerosis and giving him an urgent MRI to confirm I’d have thought 🤷‍♀️

Do you know him? I know people go far to hide affairs but telling your life you've had a TIA and have brain lesions is very extreme. He'd have to be insane. Surely that level of dishonesty and general absurdness would seep through into other areas.

Projecting much???

Why is your friend not attending any appointments with him, especially if he's being rushed to A&E?

It sounds like he's lying definitely.

Listen to Scamanda if you really want to know the lengths some people will go to with their lies. So whilst hard to believe, it isn't impossible to lie about one's health. So I'm on the fence here.

https://lionsgatesound.com/shows/scamanda

He sounds like my cousin, who I'm absolutely 100% convinced has Munchausens.

Mind your own business.

You'd think so. But I waited 14 months for one after similar symptoms.

Or the man has MS and is stuck waiting for the shitty NHS to get around to looking at him.

I’d have thought it sounds more like munchassen rather than covering up for an affair.

Or serious health anxiety…..so he has the odd niggle and focuses on the worst case scenario and will ask questions to medics such as “could it be a brain lesion “.. then when they say well possibly but unlikely or they hear is that it could be.

I don't believe this to be true. 'most men' do not have affairs.

You know people thought I was lying about my illness. So many random symptoms over a course of around five years before I was finally taken seriously by a doctor and given an mri with contrast. I was then quickly diagnosed with MS.

My friend paid for a private mri as there was a 9 month wait for neurology. They found a brain tumour. She was immediately referred back in to the nhs for treatment. If they found anything significant he would have been referred directly. The scans are not interpreted by a gp.