To think my friends husband is lying!

[Kate0902900908]

Ok so friends husband over the course of a year has had a tia (mini stroke), various muscle issues- which when explained make absolutely no sense, a suspected heart attack, panic attacks (in which he has driven himself to the hospital mid attack), numbness in limbs, sensitivity to light meaning he can’t leave the bedroom, vertigo, a lazy eye in which his retina is affected and now after a private MRI (he had to pay for it as NHS would not do one he says) he was given a USB of the pictures which his GP looked at and told him he has neck/brain lesions. He is now awaiting funding to see if the NHS will pay for an MRI under neurology (this is what he has told wife)

• friend has never been to 1 appointment.
• She has never been to A&E once when all this was supposedly happening
• when he has been to A&E he has been uncountable for hours at a time
• he sometimes goes away to get away from health related things which consists of remote gateways again uncontactable for periods of time.
• when they went on a break together spent most of the time in the hotel alone as just too sick

she doesn’t seem to think this is all a bit bizarre and tells the stories like it’s normal and poor guy. He during all of this has continued to drive, work and drink.

I’m almost subconsciously certain he’s living a double life.

Thanks 🙏

Yay for road safety.

Being given a disc of your images might, but a GP isn’t trained in neuroradiology and is not going to review images and make conclusions

Hmm, sounds awfully similar to the symptoms of an illness that's very rare and is within my family- sufferer still has a driving licence, but the difference is she has had people with her at her appointments.

Maybe the reason she doesn't go to his many trips to medical appointments and A&E is she's fed up with it all. The reason she talks as if it's normal is because she's trying to pretend to herself and everyone else that it is. People ask, she tells them what he says. She can't say she doesn't believe him because that would make her seem like a terrible person. But really, she is way out of her depth with what's going on and doesn't know how to handle it.

I don't think it's an affair, I think it's mental health issues, possible fuelled by drug addiction. Health anxiety and paranoia are common side effects of certain drugs, as is self centered behaviour, and disappearing acts. Whatever it is, he needs help with his mental health, and she would be better off away from him while he gets it forever

Or. He has had a brain injury (ie, TIA) and you and others are just being bitches.

This thread is pretty heart breaking to hear that those of us with a similar experience must all be lying. I wonder what my friends are saying about me because I don't fit the typical stroke pattern.

Private imaging should come with a report, written by a radiologist .

Options: as yet undiagnosed neurological disease, fibromyalgia, health anxiety, affair.

If he was too ill to leave the hotel on a holiday it sounds like he’s not well. Many people manage to hold down jobs with illness or disability. I’d say affair least likely option of those.

Given a USB? Aye sure he was. He's lying through his teeth about something.

Yes it does which you can take to the GP. Results would be interpreted by radiologist not GP, OP wrong about that.

By law you have to stop driving immediately after a TIA for a month. You also need the all clear from a doctor.

You must inform your insurance company too.

I would just give your friend support if she needs it and just wait and see. It could be any number of things going on.
As for the wife not attending hospital, my friend was the same, they had 3 young children and when her Dh got blue lighted in with complications one morning she didn't go with him as she said she knows he's in good hands and she had the kids and dog to sort out. My other friend and her Dh both have ongoing progressive illnesses and both have frequent appointments in hospitals they gave up going with each other a long time ago otherwise neither of them would be able to get anything else done.

Have you ever had a private MRI? The difference with the NHS, is privately you have paid for those images and are often given a copy. I was given mine on a CD, last year.

That is not true. There is no law. Your doctor (may not be consultant level) may advise you, or may tell you to stop.

If he has brain lesions showing on an MRI (like Dsis does) there'd be a battery of other tests to exclude MS/stroke/tumour etc.
Maybe your friend couldn't go to A&E with him because of childcare? She would not be allowed into A&E with him but would have to wait outside (based on our last visit, for several hours!)
Not sure why you're so invested in her relationship though and why you'd leap to an affair? Unless she'd expressed concern to you about him?

Had 3 over 4 years at different private hospitals. Either offered them on a disc or sent via encrypted email.

Even without the questionable USB story the rest of it sounds like bollocks enough.

It's not the fact that he 'doesn't fit the typical stroke pattern' that's suspicious, though. The symptoms he reports could be all sorts of things; the symptoms in themselves are not the issue.

The issue is more the fact that his wife has never been to any hospital appointments with him or been there when he's gone to A&E or seen any medication or hospital letters or any of the other things that go along with months and months of serious health issues.

All those symptoms together sound like a brain tumour. My brother still worked, drank and drove and had all which you describe. Took a long time for it to get diagnosed.

Very quick Google re: USB stick suggests what I assumed - increased security risks with USB sticks and generally the equipment either doesn't have a USB port or info sec policies don't allow for flash drives to be used.

As I say though without that the rest of the story just doesn't ring true at all.

OP’s detail about the GP interpreting the results was incorrect - that would be the radiologist - and this may be incorrect too. If he was sent his results either by email or on a CD they can be saved onto a USB stick which he could take to his GP.

It is true. Look it up.

https://www.gov.uk/transient-ischaemic-attacks-and-driving#:~:text=You%20must%20stop%20driving%20for,tells%20you%20it%20is%20safe.

I'm not sure when this was, but you were either misinformed or misunderstood. The guidance from the DVLA is very clear that you must not drive after a stroke or TIA official guidance here and this has been the case for at least 15 years (I was doing a stroke/TIA job then.

They would never give a patient a USB of an MRI. MRI pictures are taken in layers and have to be interpreted by a qualified consultant.

That being said paying for a private MRI because the NHS wouldn't do one is not that unusual. But would your friend not even have been there when he had the suspected TIA? Odd that she wouldn't take more of an interest? And also he would have had some letters arrive to the house?

My husband doesn't come with me to appointments or A&E as there is no need. What help would someone sitting in A&E for hours and hours on end be? I've never been to any of his medical appointments either.

My husband does obviously see em coming home with bags from pharmacy though. But I am also not on blood thinners, even though I had an ischemic stroke, as it was a complicated issue. And if it was a haemorrhagic stroke / TIA, you wouldn't be on blood thinners. The only medication I had following my stroke was a statin for 4 months and low dose asprin for a month.

That is advise. It also states you do not need to tell DVLA, and you very certainly do not need to tell your insurance company.

Believe me. I have investigated this a lot since my own stroke.