Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

Well I have news for you. I just asked DH whether he has a hobby, and he said................ (drumroll).......... "No".

<watches entire universe disappear up its own fundament>

However, nobody who is a narcissist has ever posted on here. Oh yes they have. They are the ones on a thread who tell the OP that they are being ridiculous and have caused the problem themselves.

Haha, it’s not so much as having a hobby, but the fact that this must be kept a secret, otherwise, it’s really outing, apparently.

He must be cheating with Sharon from work.
LTB

That people can no longer just be worried about something - they 'have anxiety'.

But they're very pee'd off when the Amazon man is gone before they got there 2 seconds after they knocked

Anything you're not keen on is "woke" and woke is hands down the absolute worst possible thing in the world. Calling something woke is a devastating argument-ending put down.

Most industries are woke nowadays and will discriminate against you if you're not a black trans lesbian, even industries notorious for being the preserve of the publicly educated.

Literally everything is about trans people. Everything. Any thread on any topic should be used as a forum to be about trans issues. Doesn't matter if someone starts a thread asking why their cake didn't rise, that's the perfect jumping off point to say "well maybe your cake identifies as a pancake, the way some delusional MEN identify as women!"

If your child asks for hummus you will be utterly mortified for years afterwards for shame that someone will assume you're middle class, and not the wonderful salt of the earth working class person you actually are.

@overthinkersanonnymus and @Redlarge - yes, Gibraltar is not an island, and is firmly attached to Spain. Who occasionally mutter that they'd quite like it back.

@sashh Portsmouth isn't an island either. The city is on Portsea Island and takes up pretty much all of it, hence the confusion.

That everyone is (or at some point has been) having sex with their work colleagues

😂

If the police blue light you, dont pull over!

Remember to apply suncream to your child until 35 years old otherwise you are neglecting your child.

Must dry your clothes with a dehumidifier as tumble dryers are too expensive.

Council houses are free

Cats are killing nature single handedly

Every big dog is an XL bully practically ripped my throat out.

If a man posts on MN, he will be burnt alive at the next possible opportunity even though if it was a reverse they would have agreed

I remember a few years ago a poster itemised her life admin and among her many tasks were curating the family photos and researching the internet when buying items for the home like white goods. 😂

That everyone who works has access to a massive HR department or an employee handbook for answers about their employment.

That there are almost as many syndromes as people.

If anyone has so much as a square foot of Astro-Turf in their garden then they are responsible for the destruction of the planet.

And they are also destined to go to hell.

That no decent person would ever consider reclining their seat on an aeroplane. The seat-reclining button attached to every aeroplane seat has been put there purely as a test of character.

Ive genuinely been educated. How have i got to this age and not known ha.

This is a very funny thread, but I have learnt a lot from MN over the years, particularly about neurodiversity and disability and also about feminism.

Oh and that it's very anti-social to go into a self-service cafe in pairs and one of you sits down while the other one goes up to the bar to order. You are meant to both stand in the queue, get your food and then have nowhere to sit down and eat it.

And your bra must be changed daily...ahem....

I hope with every fibre of my being that nobody on Mumsnet actually has access to nuclear weapons.

I bet there's loads of things that you know and I don't - try me😂

-Being a single mum isn’t something you should speak positively about. You should just pretend you’re living a life of misery.

-If you’re not a single mum, but you speak about how you wonderful it will be to not be with your children’s father anymore as he’s a total man child. Expect to be told how LUCKY you are that you have someone to take the bins out and that you don’t have to do everything yourself. Erm, if you’re with a man child, then chances are you are doing everything yourself! It’s insulting to say it’s easier to be single than it is to be with a man.

French people are the best. They are all slim, fashionable and have the best behaved kids, food and life. If one does not enjoy holidaying in France then one is common and stupid.

(just to add I have nothing against the french and its people 😂 but MNetters LOVE them)

I fear you may be disappointed, ha.

I actually am a bit guilty of this one, although I don't go on about it on here. I love how savagely rude so many French people are. I am a right bitch sometimes and I dislike how passive aggressive and whiny the Brits can be. I am a weird hybrid of French snark and US hyperoptimisitc can do energy. I love this duality in myself, it makes life interesting.