Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

You should go no contact with people over the smallest annoyance. If anyone’s opinion differs from yours cut ties for good!!

Husband leaves toilet seat up...

Shock horror LTB!

Just TBF, my DS does have autism, and I came to MN because of the extremely supportive SN boards and stayed for the shits and giggles. So MN does in all likelihood have a larger proportion of ND in the family because of this.

Martin Lewis is god and I do like a parking diagram.

They always think everyone is “unhinged” or ”vile” too 😀😀

Quite honestly I would leave most of the husbands that pop up on the relationship board. I have learned that the bar many women have for how men should behave is extremely low!

I have also learned on MN that if you don't have have half a million in a "pension pot" and at least 100k savings in the bank by the age of 40 you might as well kill yourself now.
Oh, and UPF. Does anyone ever hear about UPF in real life??

I feel like I need to apologise to my washing machine for how hard I work it 😂 (this is ment to be a reply)

Gosh, these replies.

head tilt
did you mean to be so rude?
tinkly little laugh

Don't EVER admit to having a McDonald's.

Worse still, if you give one to your children it is literal child abuse.

Nooooo surely not

No one shops for boring essentials at M&S or Next - we are all still well into pricey fashion brands at 45plus.

No one shops at Lidl and Aldi and has Hs who say 'this is shit ' (I do!!) get thee back to M&S or Waitrose immediately

Everyone has 18 year olds with 3 AAA and who are agonising over Leeds or Durham etc- not Oxford Brooke's or Bath spa or god forbid- a job!

If you attended school at any time up to the 90s it was the most awful, abusive experience according to MN.

(I was in primary in the 70s, high school in the 80s and had a bloody marvellous time!)

As low as that?

100%

That would personally be my idea of hell.

Why do people write and say 'nan'? It really gets on my tits. Double tits if the spell it with a capital 'N'. It's grandmother. Treble tits if they say it in Cockney/Estuary and elongate the 'a' - I saw me naaaan'

Don’t forget:

”No” is a complete sentence 😂

You must not under any circumstances read the Daily mail.
Nobody should have a relationship with anyone more than 6 months older/younger than oneself, or run the risk of being labelled a paedophile/granny grabber.
You must claim that you voted remain, knowing full well you voted leave.
You must pretend you didnt/don't vote Tory.
You must call your DC ridiculous names which everyone will take the piss out you're child when they go to school 🤣🤣

WFH people are so much more productive they can get all their work done in 2hrs and also manage to clean the house from top to bottom, do the laundry, bake a cake, walk the dog, prepare the evening meal, have a 2-hour nap on the sofa and look after their kids. Having to go to the office is a ballache because they get interrupted by people asking them questions (presumably work-related things).

That many of the posters are American - they don’t have mums, but moms. My eyes sparkle when I read the word ‘mam’.

There's a special Mumsnet dictionary.

(I have had to google things more than once to understand)

I learnt from MNthat you shouldn't let tradesmen use your loo, because their shit smells 100 times worse than your and your family's rose-scented deposits, it'll have far more germs in it, they probably don't wash their hands and may dribble on the floor.
Oh and the smell will last a month.

Then they all wonder why they can't get a tradesman.

I have learnt that “baby dance” (BD) is an acceptable term for “having sex” if a couple are trying to conceive.

It makes me cringe every time I see it 😂

To a poster above: I am not American but I do have a mom 😂 She and her family grew up in Birmingham and this is a typical term. I also don’t have a Grandmother, I have a Nan 😂

That some people think it's ok to flush sanitary products down the toilet! 🙀
That has seriously shocked me so much!

Your 80 year old parents should absolutely help you out with child care. After all you both waited until the optimal age of 40 to have kids and so in their early 80s your parents must be very fit and active should should be thrilled to have the opportunity to run around after your toddler several days a week.

1. Ring NHS direct if you're ill
2. Yes he's probably a twat so dump him
3. You have a right to feel good about your choices in life and don't let other people put you down
4. Work sucks but there is support through Unions and ACAS
5. A man is still a man even if he pretends he's a woman and that doesn't mean you have to pretend he's a woman too.
6. When someone hits you, deal with it properly via the police.
7. Probably keep social media to a minimum especially if it even slightly affects your health.

Well blow me down, I didn’t know Brums use ‘mom’.
Thanks and apology sent. x