Things you've learned from this site

[Tueresmuyguapo]

According to recent threads:

Everyone over the age of about 35 looks way younger, constantly mistaken for younger, doesn't have a line on their face yet despite never using suncream, and their nan only used bin juice on their face and smoked 80 fags a day but had beautiful skin at 103 years old.

Everyone had sex with their complete stranger dp within about 4 seconds of meeting them for the first time, their dp moved in that night and never left and they're coming up to 762 years of happy marriage now.

Everybody on here seems to earn 200k in some mysterious job that doesn't seem to exist, they can't quite explain what they do, but they worked their asses off to get to this level of seniority which involves them working 3 hours a week for 2 weeks a year.

Interested to hear any more.

Lots and lots of things are 'grim' and/or 'mortifying'.

Make that 90%

If you have a baby at 48 you’re amazing and doing so well by your child, but if you have one at 28 then you’re ruining your youth, won’t be able to cope and the kid will end up with feckless parents and a broken home.

dogs are actually tiny demons.

a massive salad can fill you up for days and if it doesn’t you’re a greedy pig.

if you earn less than £100k and don’t have at least that in savings then your living on the edge and shouldn’t consider having children. Also it’s very normal to earn over £100k almost everyone does.

I've learned on MN that the average age of first-time mums is 46.

That you cannot be a bit cross, you must be "raging". Equally, you cannot be a bit upset,
you must be "crying and shaking". You must always use overwrought, dramatic language to describe even the most mundane situation, or your audience just won't understand how greatly you've been wronged. 😔

Pretty much everyone should leave their husband apparently

You forgot "furious"

That having a wind chime in your garden is antisocial and selfish, we don't all want to hear your tinkly chimes!

Also, all children spend all their time 'shrieking' and 'screaming' in public. And MN doesn't like it.

Everyone’sDH/DP is over six feet tall.

No one reads the Daily Mail but on the other hand it is gospel and an impeccable source for news, especially news about royals, immigrants, Brexit, trans issues, and Palestine.

Ha at these I agree with many

You must not, under any circumstances play music in your garden, even quietly in the middle of the day. You couldn’t possibly be more antisocial!

If you have a summer born child you must defer them. Your child simply has to be on top academically or youve done something wrong. If your child is not top of the class they must be neurodiverse.

Anyone over 60 is elderly and decrepit. All warm/practical/comfortable/non revealing clothing is fugly and mumsy.

Everyone is having an affair 👀 everyoneeeee

You’d be surprised at the number of threads where the op either hasn’t spoken to their oh or has but hasn’t mentioned the outcome in the op!

Everyone is always 'baffled' on MN. Never hear the word IRL.

Everyone's DH watches porn.

Any view or opinion that slightly differs from your own is "bizarre" and "baffling".

Everyone earns £200k plus but they won't have their heating above 14°C.

Everyone earning over 200k struggles to survive

Everyones child is either adhd, nc, adh or some other abbreviation and its entirely not your fault if they are just loud and another.

The response to any sort of poor behaviour from an adult is "Have you considered that they may be ND?"

Absolutely 😂😩

Everything has to be “naice”

ham
biscuits
chocolate
coffee
salad
any meal that is homemade
etc

Why can’t I give guests a chocolate digestive?

Omg this. EVERYONE should leave at theirs husbands first minor transgression.