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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She's just a waitress!

119 replies

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 20:27

Am in restaurant attached to premier inn

That's what the man on table next to me, has just said to his (presumably) wife

She's just a waitress

WTAF! She's just spent ages going through the menu with them

I'm probably overreacting??? It's nothing to do with me but I feel really annoyed and want to say something

I'm sat here fuming. She's been lovely, I'm here alone and she's really looked after me

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 20:45

missmollygreen · 10/12/2023 20:44

Some nasty people on this thread.

A comment overheard, totally without context. But of course, the busybodies know best

There are also some people who can’t spot when people are JOKING

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/12/2023 20:47

Isn't that something that Ross wrote on his cons list about Rachel?

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 10/12/2023 20:48

I would not say anything to them but I’d make a huge point of being nice to her - specific compliments, maybe a bit larger tip, good staff reviews with a specific mention when you check out?

I coped like this when I was with my grandparents. My GM is a terrific cook and makes all my GF’s meals, but he would be mean about them. I compensated with lavish and deserved compliments for every single meal she made.

Pickingmyselfup · 10/12/2023 20:48

I'm "just a waitress" and I know people look down on my job because it's not complicated but I do think it takes a certain kind of person. I actually really like the job, I work in a place where we get the same people day in day out and I really get to build a relationship with them. It makes them feel less like a number and more like an individual and it goes for me too. They ask about my family, my running races, gym progress because I'm also a person and not just a waitress.

It also works around the kids and it's no stress. The downside is no sick pay but that's really it although the pay is only minimum wage.

Lemondrizzleicecream · 10/12/2023 20:48

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/12/2023 20:47

Isn't that something that Ross wrote on his cons list about Rachel?

Oh yes!!

Devonshiregal · 10/12/2023 20:49

Yeah…people like saying things like this when you work in hospitality. My second favourite is the:
them: so what do actually do
me: I work here
them: no but like are you studying or something or have a day job?
me: nope

my first favourite is the parents asking when you’re going to get a real job.

and not that it matters but I have the ability and qualifications to “do or be” many other things. I happen to have a personality which suits very varied roles and hospitality work is enjoyable for me.

but people are arseholes and have got worse over the past decade or so - ask anyone in retail or hospitality. Entitlement and people thinking they have to be rude to look cool.

Lemondrizzleicecream · 10/12/2023 20:49

I've been a waitress and it was the hardest job I've ever had.

Notsurehwhattdo · 10/12/2023 20:49

Beefeater is more like a posh McDonald's. Food is delivered in bags and comes frozen. The steaks are grilled but the microwave is used extensively.

Maybe the waitress recommended something on the menu when asked?

wjpa · 10/12/2023 20:49

He's a tit

Doesn't matter what you say to him, he'll still be a tit

InTheRainOnATrain · 10/12/2023 20:51

theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 20:40

I can tell you’re sober

Show quote history

Haha is it that obvious?! If you’d got me 3 espresso martinis in last night I probably would have been up for the confrontation. But yup sober me says you heard a snippet, don’t jump to conclusions, have another glass of Sauv B, embrace your inner Elsa and let it go.

Also @DrinkFeckArseBrick ’s theory is a good one. Never used the ‘she’s just a waitress’ phrasing but I’ve thought along those lines when I’ve had a disappointing meal but the server has been lovely so I’ve still left a decent tip.

willWillSmithsmith · 10/12/2023 21:10

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/12/2023 20:47

Isn't that something that Ross wrote on his cons list about Rachel?

Beat me to it. I thought this was going to be about Ross and Rachel 😁

Original poster
Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:18

I left her a decent tip, thanked her loudly and effusively for all her help, and then gave him a dirty look as I left. Which he noticed, but didn't seem noticeably bothered by

Hes definitely a knob.

OP posts:
PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 10/12/2023 21:21

He probably thinks you fancy him now.

DuplicateUserName · 10/12/2023 21:23

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:18

I left her a decent tip, thanked her loudly and effusively for all her help, and then gave him a dirty look as I left. Which he noticed, but didn't seem noticeably bothered by

Hes definitely a knob.

And considering you have no idea at all of the context, this makes you look like a bigger knob 🤷‍♂️

DuploTrain · 10/12/2023 21:23

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:18

I left her a decent tip, thanked her loudly and effusively for all her help, and then gave him a dirty look as I left. Which he noticed, but didn't seem noticeably bothered by

Hes definitely a knob.

I’m looking forward to the mumsnet post about the woman on the next table doing performative thanking, tipping and glaring 😁

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 21:26

Made me think of Ross from Friends 😂

Caton · 10/12/2023 21:27

Dickhead. I was just a waitress whilst I was in uni. I was also just a server at the counter years on in the gourmet pizzeria I owned. I graduated later and am now ‘just a lawyer’ and also ‘just a translator’ and in my youth was ‘just a television producer’ too in a production house that I ‘just owned with a business partner’. What an ass… on a lighter note one of my favorite Christmas nail colours is OPI ‘I’m really not a waitress’ a colour I found in later life …44 to be exact 😂 a lovely medium dark rich red with a subtle shimmer. Be careful and treat those that serve you with the utmost respect .. is something best learnt early and adhered to unwaveringly.

LakeTiticaca · 10/12/2023 21:29

I had an ex partner who used to earwig on other people's private conversations and butt in when he disapproved of what was said. It was cringey, embarrassing and one of the many reasons he is an ex.
Don't embarrass yourself ( and possibly the waitress) by commenting.
Unless you like making yourself look a twat in public, of course 😉

Salome61 · 10/12/2023 21:32

I hope he leaves her a tip, it's so hard to attract anyone into hospitality!

Original poster
Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:34

@DuploTrain
I know!
How do you get thread deleted? Really quick? 🤣

@LakeTiticaca I usually just silently judge...
couldn't help, but overhear them, because of how close we were. I would like to say he was talking really loudly, but he wasn't really, dammit.

OP posts:
Yupppp · 10/12/2023 21:36

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/12/2023 20:47

Isn't that something that Ross wrote on his cons list about Rachel?

I opened the thread presuming it was a revisionist discussion of that episode 😂

Original poster
Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:39

@Yupppp
Had forgotten that
Feel like I should have some intellectual insights into that now

OP posts:
Yupppp · 10/12/2023 21:46

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 21:39

@Yupppp
Had forgotten that
Feel like I should have some intellectual insights into that now

That’s for another thread 😆, hope you’d a nice meal, twats notwithstanding 👌

MikeRafone · 10/12/2023 21:50

I hate using the self service tills in the library, supermarket & fuel - will waitresses be the next to be replaced by self service?

Bernardmanning · 10/12/2023 21:57

You are being unreasonable to define anything attached to a Premier Inn as a 'restaurant'!

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