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Original poster

She's just a waitress!

119 replies

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 20:27

Am in restaurant attached to premier inn

That's what the man on table next to me, has just said to his (presumably) wife

She's just a waitress

WTAF! She's just spent ages going through the menu with them

I'm probably overreacting??? It's nothing to do with me but I feel really annoyed and want to say something

I'm sat here fuming. She's been lovely, I'm here alone and she's really looked after me

OP posts:
Maverickess · 10/12/2023 23:00

You know , the type of people who think you're 'just a waitress' (or anything similar) and mean it in a derogatory way are never shy of making good use of the services provided by said waitress or job role.
If they think so poorly of such jobs and the people that do them, why on earth would they be so keen to use the service(s) they provide?

It's like they resent you for some bizarre reason.

Gowlett · 10/12/2023 23:03

Ha ha… I love listening in when I’m alone.

Was on the bus yesterday when a grumpy old man (we call them the red trousers brigade) next to me took a call.

“No Joyce, I’m still on the bloody bus!”

“Look, forget about it. I’m going home!”

“Joyce. I haven’t got the energy for this!”

Phone rings again… “What’s wrong? No!”

One of the best I’ve heard in a while.

ButterCupPie · 10/12/2023 23:05

WillowTit · 10/12/2023 20:29

ah but she might be between jobs
a writer in her spare time

And public figure?

Imagwine · 10/12/2023 23:10

MikeRafone · 10/12/2023 21:50

I hate using the self service tills in the library, supermarket & fuel - will waitresses be the next to be replaced by self service?

I’ve been served by one of these in a uk restaurant.

They are here already!

christmaspaws · 10/12/2023 23:14

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 22:30

@christmaspaws

You've been called "good girl"

😱😨

I'd flip

Oh at least once a month I get it
Male dominated industry and if I manage to do something simple like price a part I get it

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 10/12/2023 23:17

Verbena17 · 10/12/2023 22:11

Whatever the reason, there is absolutely no need to say ‘she's just a waitress’.

He could have simply said ‘the waitress might not know’.

He’s implying that it’s because she’s a waitress, she won’t know.

I absolutely loved being a waitress - every single aspect.
There are a LOT of people who couldn’t hack being a waiter or waitress.
You’d think people sat in a restaurant eating and being served by waiting staff would realise the irony of that awful statement - ‘just a…’

Um,
We have context here so something like "there's no point in taking it out on her, she's just the waitress" i.e not the person responsible for something being wrong is a perfectly reasonable thing to say.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 10/12/2023 23:20

GoodOldEmmaNess · 10/12/2023 22:45

There's so many ways in which 'she's just a waitress' could be a legit and non-snide answer to something his wife said.
But the OP has used her exocet observation skills to conclude that he 'looks the type,' so I'm sure she is fully justified in saying that he's 'definitely a knob'.

Sorry but the OP comes across as a judgemental prat.

theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 23:23

MustBeNapTime · 10/12/2023 22:23

Judgy much? Why are they "saddos" for eating at a Premier Inn? We used to live overseas, so when coming back to the UK and travelling all over the UK, we used to often stay at Premier Inns because they were cheap and clean and you knew what you were getting. We also used to eat at whatever restaurant was attached for ease. Food was usually unexciting but reasonable and reliable.

Show quote history

Food was usually unexciting but reasonable and reliable.

Because what you said 👆no one eats in them for pleasure.

theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 23:25

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 10/12/2023 21:21

He probably thinks you fancy him now.

😆

sadsack78 · 10/12/2023 23:29

maybe his wife was accusing him/ the waitress of being flirty, and he got annoyed and said 'she's just a waitress' to calm her down/ express his exasperation?

Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here. For anyone who needs to heard it- being a waitress is fucking hard. People talk down to you, men leer at you, the kitchen staff take out their frustrations on you. It's a hard, ill-paid job.

Zwellers · 10/12/2023 23:30

You are eavesdropping on a convo that's nothing to do with you, giving complete strangers dirty looks based on uninformed judgements, and yet the man's the knob. I bed to differ on whom the knob is.

Mariposista · 10/12/2023 23:40

Ughhh job snobbery

I once had a parent at a sixth form parents evening say ‘I don’t know what to do about him (her son), if he doesn’t start applying himself all he will be able to do is work in Tescos’.
I put her straight. We NEED people working in Tescos. Good, hardworking and flexible people. You can have a good career and climb the ladder in Tescos. Not all careers require a degree or being academic. The lad was bright enough but not academic. He loved anything practical, hated writing and exams.

I respect any job (paid or voluntary).

Daffodilsandtuplips · 10/12/2023 23:41

It’s up there with ‘How would she know? She’s just a shop assistant’ or ‘You could have had a better job if you’d gone to college’. Both said to me when I worked in retail. The thing was I did ‘know’ and I had been to college. Business studies and Retail Management.

sherloc · 10/12/2023 23:50

A friend's sibling was nearly fired for speaking to a world-famous actress in a retail setting. He had asked after her sibling who he knew well but hadn't seen for a while, but she wanted to chat.
Renée Zellweger was chatting to a 'seat-filler' at the Oscars. The poor woman got a bollocking from a supervisor who didn't believe that the talent would talk to a peasant. Helen Fielding was the peasant doing research for a book and Renée had good reason to be grateful to Helen.

Tibbb · 10/12/2023 23:50

theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 23:23

Food was usually unexciting but reasonable and reliable.

Because what you said 👆no one eats in them for pleasure.

Show quote history

Yeah they do.

Museum10664 · 10/12/2023 23:56

Without your services we couldent use the services offered, from me thank you for all that you do, @Tilllly

Museum10664 · 11/12/2023 00:03

Tilllly · 10/12/2023 20:35

Does Sauvignon Blanc count?

I really want to say something snide, but just as I'm leaving, obviously

I actually don't know for sure, I just had a sense that his wife said something about something on the menu and that was his response

Show quote history

at a guess, the wife could of been enquiring about a specific item on the menu and the response was what it was, with the presumption that the waiter would not know the details of the menu item ?

CKL987 · 11/12/2023 00:15

Many years ago a colleague referred to me as just the PA. Life was suddenly more difficult him because there were lots of things I couldn't do or help him with because I was "just a PA".

Museum10664 · 11/12/2023 00:27

CKL987 · 11/12/2023 00:15

Many years ago a colleague referred to me as just the PA. Life was suddenly more difficult him because there were lots of things I couldn't do or help him with because I was "just a PA".

Sometimes it seems those at the top or above are mainly effective in their roles from the assistance from those on different levels but some only presume they themselves are jack of all trades then realise their errors when they think they can do it all.

slore · 11/12/2023 00:31

To be honest, leave it. You don't know the context and other people's conversations are none of your business any way.

There's no way for you to come out of this looking good if you make some self-righteous critique of his words - hours after he said them - when you don't even know what the hell they were talking about. And nor should you know.

ModestMoon · 11/12/2023 00:34

Maybe he was telling the wife that she may be just a waitress, but she's Rachem.

BashfulClam · 11/12/2023 00:50

‘She’s just a waitress’
‘…abd you are just a dickhead!’

melj1213 · 11/12/2023 01:50

I don't know why people are getting the pitchforks out for this unknown guy just because the OP eavesdropped on his conversation and heard a single phrase out of any context.

I have been a waitress, I have been a teacher, I work in a supermarket and there have been hundreds of occasions where "You're just a waitress/teacher/shop staff" has been used rudely or condescendingly but equally there have been just as many times where people (myself included) have used the phrase as an explanation as to why I can't do something or don't know an answer because it's not my job or it's above my pay grade to deal with it .

Rude and condescending:

"She seemed to be really knowledgeable about the menu and answered all our questions"
"Yes but she's still just a waitress"

Not rude or condescending:

"I don't understand why she can't make the changes to the dish I want where the menu says XYZ and I want ABC"
"Because she's just the waitress, she has no control over off menu items."

Yes the word "just" could be left out but it's not automatically rude or judgemental to include it either. I work in the pharmacy in my supermarket now, I have often been asked "Can you do/advise/refer regarding ABC?" and my automatic response is always "Sorry, I'm just a dispenser so I am not legally authorised/allowed to do ABC, only a pharmacist can do that, give me a moment to check if they're free to come and speak with you".

The "just" is not saying I am in any way inferior to the pharmacist, it is merely a way of emphasising that the thing they are asking me is something I cannot do because it is something that needs to be done by a specific person that is not me.

WandaWonder · 11/12/2023 02:04

The old offended by proxy thing, "I have deciced I am right and I will have a tantrum till you agree with me"

Pinkpinkpink15 · 11/12/2023 02:14

theduchessofspork · 10/12/2023 20:35

Also, while I am assuming you’re travelling for work, if he’s eating with his wife/partner/mistress in a prem inn, they are a pair of saddos. You might loose the high ground if you add that though.

@theduchessofspork

what a horrible comment, there are lots of reasons a couple might be staying and eating in PI. Last time for us we were going to a funeral & it was the most convenient place to stay. We wanted food, not to 'go out for dinner'.