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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel trapped by the sodding cat

121 replies

HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:28

I know I am being a bit unreasonable and this is absolutely first world problems but I need to vent.

Money has been tight recently (as it has for many) as DH has been out of work so we only have my income. It’s been a tough time in many ways. In the black Friday sale I managed to find a really bargainous summer holiday on a campsite in France which I booked for August.

We have a cat. He is fine but tbh I don’t feel any real real affection for him. I make sure he is fed and gets attention, I take him to the vets, I make sure he gets his vaccinations. I find it stressful when he brings dead or half alive mice to the house and generally I would be totally fine if someone wanted to have him. I just feel like I took him on and so here we are committed for the next 15 or whatever years (he is 4).

I know from previous years that catteries get really booked up so I made enquiries. One said it would cost £670 to have him for 2 weeks in august, one said £500 but don’t want him if he is noisy. This is a massive chunk of our budget!! Cat sitters are also very expensive and they would need to let him in and out of the house (plus we would have to get the house tidy enough for them to come in which is a whole other thread). I don’t feel I can ask a neighbour this far ahead or for a full 2 weeks to come in and feed him 2 x per day. That feels like a big ask but if I don’t get something organised I will feel anxious about not having anything sorted (and yes, I do have diagnosed OCD and anxiety which I recognise is not helping).

to be completely honest, I just wish some lovely person would adopt him who would love him and not resent all the hassle and expense. Obviously I’m not going to get rid of him as I am a responsible pet owner and I made a commitment to him but I feel trapped and like we can’t have something nice because the cat makes it exorbitantly expensive!

Argh!Thank you - that feels better!

And if anyone has any pearls of wisdom for how you manage this please let me know!! Do we just try to cancel the holiday?

OP posts:
HomiesAlone · 09/12/2023 09:29

Local teenager for pocket money?

StopWithYourNonsense · 09/12/2023 09:31

When you took him on, didn't you realise that cats live for up to 20 years, on average? Cat sitters could go in (don't worry about the state of the house) and feed him twice a day, which would cost £240 for a fortnight, or thereabouts.

Ortila · 09/12/2023 09:32

It's not for months so you have time to save the kennel fees. It's part of the expense of having a pet.

Galliano · 09/12/2023 09:32

Whereabouts are you? I am in Yorkshire and pay £22 a day for two cats, think it would be about £13 for one, so that sounds huge. Maybe someone can recommend one.

Evaka · 09/12/2023 09:32

I'm London based and our cat minder is charging £220 for 18 days over xmas. Keep looking, there are apps where you'll find better prices than the cattery. Sounds like you don't much like your cat OP. He's probably not affectionate because you don't make enough effort with him. I'm not being mean but they are sensitive animals and definitely not stupid. Our guy responds well to me because I'm very kind and caring to him. It's rewarding and worth a try!

Original poster
HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:33

Thank you, I’m not sure about a local teenager - I will have a think.

And yes I knew cats lived for 20 years as we had cats growing up, I didn’t realise how trapped I would feel by having him or the expense of catteries and sitters though (which has gone up dramatically over the last couple of years)

OP posts:
SweetFemaleAttitude · 09/12/2023 09:33

I am not a big fan of cats, but I really wouldn't mind popping in to a neighbours a couple of times a day to feed it.

Or even once a day with one of them vacation feeder things if they exist. I know they do for fish lol.

You could ask one neighbour for one week and one neighbour for another maybe?

Cats are no hassle.

Try getting your dog looked after for 2 weeks!!

MojoMoon · 09/12/2023 09:33

A cat sitter here in central London is 12 quid - spends an hour here, feeding, washing bowl up, litter tray if needed, grooming etc.
I would expect this to be cheaper outside London?

HouseIsOnFire · 09/12/2023 09:33

I pay my cat sitter £20 a day for 2 30 min visits, have you tried catinaflat.co.uk? The letting in/out would be tricky though - does he not have a catflap?

Generally though your post makes me feel quite sad for your cat, you make him sound very unwanted - I hope you show him more affection.

SarahC50 · 09/12/2023 09:34

Join trusted house-sitters, £150 for the year, no extra fees. We use them and they are fantastic x

Dotcheck · 09/12/2023 09:34

Just take him to a charity. You clearly don’t want the poor cat. Give him a chance to have a home with people who love him.
I’m confused why you got a cat in the first place, but hey ho.

Chemenger · 09/12/2023 09:34

If you don’t mind someone staying in your house Trusted Housesitters works out very cheap. You pay a membership fee but nothing for the sitters.

Saisong · 09/12/2023 09:34

We get a nearby teenager in. She loves the chance to earn some cash as she isn't 16 yet so can't get a job. Her Mum keeps an eye on things too, which helps with trust. Works well.

WASZPy · 09/12/2023 09:34

Have you phoned all the catteries? I agree with PP that your quotes sound extortionate. I've never paid more than £17 a day for any animal.

AltitudeCheck · 09/12/2023 09:35

Have you tried something like trusted house sitters website? If you live in an area nice for walking/ good city it's far easier to find a sitter! I used it to house and animal sit when I was working outside the UK and wanted to come back for a few weeks to visit family but not have to stay in hotels or in family house the whole time.

Now we have a house ee use a local teen and pay £5 a visit (she comes before and after school) as it's on her way.

hannahbanana2007 · 09/12/2023 09:36

I agree with PP that seems very expensive for cattery, we pay £11 per day. I found most that had a big website were more expensive, try searching on local Facebook groups or put up a post asking for recommendations as you'll likely hear of some others that you weren't aware of that way

Sunshineandflipflops · 09/12/2023 09:36

Do you have friends or family who would come and feed him?
when I go away either my parents or neighbours come and feed mine. They just come once a day and make sure she has a bowl of wet food and a big bowl of dry food/water and that is fine for a day over a week or so.

she has a cat flap so let’s herself in and out and all her food is in the utility room so that’s the only place they need to go.

Surely you can confine anyone coming to feed your cat to one room?

My cat is 14 and has never stopped me going on holiday.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 09/12/2023 09:37

I pay £15 a day to my cat sitter and that’s two visits. Slightly more than a local cattery but the one time mine was in a cattery he got flu so that cost £120 or so.

Original poster
HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:37

I’m Home Counties - commuter belt for London so everything is £££

will have a look at apps etc. Good idea to ask 2 neighbours!

I really appreciate all the replies and perspective. I think my OCD is not helping me at all. Part of it is that I need to have everything sorted and organised ASAP so not being able to have a concrete plan even so early on is stressful. I also struggle with trust / letting strangers have the keys to our house so another reason we always did cattery in the past but this is all food for thought!

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 09/12/2023 09:38

Local teenager is my usual solution.

If you don't have teens yourself ask around - neighbours etc does anybody know anyone.

Funkyslippers · 09/12/2023 09:38

I used Housesitters UK. Free of charge completely. A lovely lady stayed in our house and looked after our cats. She had a free holiday and we got a free cat sitter

Original poster
HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:39

Also, just to say the cat lives a nice life - he gets played with and stroked / scratched on the chin, loves being outdoors etc. I’m not horrible to him.

but I do regret getting him, yes!

OP posts:
SussexLass87 · 09/12/2023 09:40

I'm sorry, but this why you make sure you have cat / dog sitting sorted before booking a holiday.

You have to factor their care into your holiday budget.

3luckystars · 09/12/2023 09:41

I understand. You are probably thinking about all the costs of the holiday and getting stressed. As soon as the cat is sorted, you will move on the next thing, passports, insurance, etc.

The real issue is that you need money coming in the door for it go out, is your dh likely to get a job soon?

Elphame · 09/12/2023 09:41

We had an automatic cat feeder so ours could be visited just once a day. That makes it much less of an imposition on neighbours.

(And you feel very much like I felt about our last cat. He was fed, cared for, petted and slept with us on the bed but if anyone had wanted him I would not have been sorry to see him move in with them)

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