To feel trapped by the sodding cat

[HollyBerryCrumble]

I know I am being a bit unreasonable and this is absolutely first world problems but I need to vent.

Money has been tight recently (as it has for many) as DH has been out of work so we only have my income. It’s been a tough time in many ways. In the black Friday sale I managed to find a really bargainous summer holiday on a campsite in France which I booked for August.

We have a cat. He is fine but tbh I don’t feel any real real affection for him. I make sure he is fed and gets attention, I take him to the vets, I make sure he gets his vaccinations. I find it stressful when he brings dead or half alive mice to the house and generally I would be totally fine if someone wanted to have him. I just feel like I took him on and so here we are committed for the next 15 or whatever years (he is 4).

I know from previous years that catteries get really booked up so I made enquiries. One said it would cost £670 to have him for 2 weeks in august, one said £500 but don’t want him if he is noisy. This is a massive chunk of our budget!! Cat sitters are also very expensive and they would need to let him in and out of the house (plus we would have to get the house tidy enough for them to come in which is a whole other thread). I don’t feel I can ask a neighbour this far ahead or for a full 2 weeks to come in and feed him 2 x per day. That feels like a big ask but if I don’t get something organised I will feel anxious about not having anything sorted (and yes, I do have diagnosed OCD and anxiety which I recognise is not helping).

to be completely honest, I just wish some lovely person would adopt him who would love him and not resent all the hassle and expense. Obviously I’m not going to get rid of him as I am a responsible pet owner and I made a commitment to him but I feel trapped and like we can’t have something nice because the cat makes it exorbitantly expensive!

Argh!Thank you - that feels better!

And if anyone has any pearls of wisdom for how you manage this please let me know!! Do we just try to cancel the holiday?

We have a cat sitter that comes in twice a day which costs £15 per day - less if just once, but she has wet food so has to be twice really! That’s just over £100 for the week, which is reasonable, and in London too.
We don’t really have friendly neighbours atm, or they’re busy w young children, although have used neighbours/local teens in the past with no issue.
I can see if you’re short if money it’s an extra load on top of the holiday, but so is car hire or similar so just has to be factored in.
You not particularly liking the cat is making you resent paying or sorting the car, but cats do live to approximately 15 or so!

I second @SallyWD - trusted housesitters. I have two dogs two cats and boarding would be over £1000 during Christmas period. And cats do thrive on company - much better in their own home with someone about. Check them out!

Came on to say this - it's saved us hundreds of pounds this year.

Do you have a cleaner? We use our cleaner if she is avilable (we obviously pay her but she has the keys already and knows our house and cats so it makes sense)

Lock him in and get a cat sitter to come round once a day. Ours charges £5. Our cattery, which we use for any trips over a few days, charges £7.50 which includes food.
You just need to factor it into the coat of any holiday.

We've only done a week but we have two cats and we set up an automatic feeder. You can get some now that have cameras in them so you can check up on your cat. We make sure there are several water bowls around the house and they can go in and out the catflap when they like. We then just ask a neighbour to pop in once or twice while we're away to make sure they have water and everything looks ok. We think this is far less stressful for them than a cattery and we did pay someone the first year we had them but they just hid when she came round so was pointless.

My teens both cat sit : two visits a day for £10 pd. They will also take in mail and put bins out, included in the above. Sometimes they go round just for a cuddle.

You just need to find one you trust with a key, preferably the child of a friend or neighbour so you know there is backup.

This.

Are trusted housesitters insured including against cancellations and police checked?

We have a pet service visit once a day, and that’s enough as they feed our cat wet food but also fill a bowl with decent complete dry food. We have a cat flap but choose to keep our cat in while we’re away, as he sometimes brings mice and birds inside and we don’t want that happening while we’re not there to rescue them!

Can you put a cat flap in to make life easier? Admittedly I havent left my cat for 2 weeks but she's fine for a week with a neighbour popping in daily to feed/water. She doesn't use a tray though.

YABU, give me the cat, you don’t deserve him.

Why did you get a cat? If it was your partner's choice why aren't they doing all the vet stuff, arranging cat sitter?
Otherwise you, as a person who doesn't like cats, decided to get a pet cat and complain about it. Which makes no sense.

Poor cat. Get a friend to pop round to see it. Or regime the poor sod.

There are different levels of membership. As a home/pet owner you can select the one that comes with home & content insurance, and/or cancellation insurance.

What kind of checks sitters have undergone depends on the sitter. Some (especially US-based ones) have undergone criminal backgrounds checks, others have not. It will always say in sitters' profiles what kind of checks have been completed.

My daughter used this when she lived in London - both for her own cats, and for minding other people’s. It seemed to work very well

i have used Trusted Housesitters, when I had a cat that actually needed staying with, had a very good experience with that

£670!!!!

We pay about £11, double for bank hols.

Poor cat.

Trade cat feeding with a neighbour who has a cat.

I think as you aren't bonded with him. I would consider re homing him OP. There's no shame in it, if it's not working for you. Just go about it in a responsible way.

You sound like a very decent person for living up to your responsibilities, OP. I have a lot of respect for that.

I have a 7 yo German Shepherd who is very hard work in some ways (hand fed, can’t be left alone for too long - thanks Covid for bringing back the separation anxiety we spent months training out).

But the hard work is bearable as I genuinely do it out of love for him. I recommend seeking out an expert who can specifically target building up the bond.

Re cat sitter, is there a neighbour you trust with a teenager?

Poor cat. I honestly think you should rehome him if you are so indifferent to him. He deserves someone who loves him rather than sees him as an inconvenience. People think that cats are cold but that is a huge myth. They love those who love them.