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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel trapped by the sodding cat

121 replies

HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:28

I know I am being a bit unreasonable and this is absolutely first world problems but I need to vent.

Money has been tight recently (as it has for many) as DH has been out of work so we only have my income. It’s been a tough time in many ways. In the black Friday sale I managed to find a really bargainous summer holiday on a campsite in France which I booked for August.

We have a cat. He is fine but tbh I don’t feel any real real affection for him. I make sure he is fed and gets attention, I take him to the vets, I make sure he gets his vaccinations. I find it stressful when he brings dead or half alive mice to the house and generally I would be totally fine if someone wanted to have him. I just feel like I took him on and so here we are committed for the next 15 or whatever years (he is 4).

I know from previous years that catteries get really booked up so I made enquiries. One said it would cost £670 to have him for 2 weeks in august, one said £500 but don’t want him if he is noisy. This is a massive chunk of our budget!! Cat sitters are also very expensive and they would need to let him in and out of the house (plus we would have to get the house tidy enough for them to come in which is a whole other thread). I don’t feel I can ask a neighbour this far ahead or for a full 2 weeks to come in and feed him 2 x per day. That feels like a big ask but if I don’t get something organised I will feel anxious about not having anything sorted (and yes, I do have diagnosed OCD and anxiety which I recognise is not helping).

to be completely honest, I just wish some lovely person would adopt him who would love him and not resent all the hassle and expense. Obviously I’m not going to get rid of him as I am a responsible pet owner and I made a commitment to him but I feel trapped and like we can’t have something nice because the cat makes it exorbitantly expensive!

Argh!Thank you - that feels better!

And if anyone has any pearls of wisdom for how you manage this please let me know!! Do we just try to cancel the holiday?

OP posts:
Edwardandtubbs · 09/12/2023 09:42

Ok I’m going to say this and then run away.

I bought a timed feeder for our cat which holds enough dried food for over 2 weeks. We rarely go away for that long but we do holiday for a week at a time and leave her with that, and also a small water cooler thing which holds about 5L of water.

Our cat is a bastard. She’s loud, violent and not affectionate in the least.

PP who said that cats respond to how you treat them in kind HA HA HA HA HA HA

Ours is 14, in perfect physical health and will never die. I have accepted this, and I do love her but she is a terrible cat.

She gets on absolutely fine with the auto feeder and waterer, her behaviour is not affected and I think she quite likes mooching about with no people in her way.

There’s a range of auto feeders on Amazon. Get one with batteries in case of a power cut.

CeratopsofthePharoahs · 09/12/2023 09:42

Get one of those automatic pet feeders. That means whoever you ask only has to pop in every few days rather than every day.

Prettypaisleyslippers · 09/12/2023 09:42

Where are you based OP? Maybe people can recommend cattery options that are not crazy prices? We are in the southeast and our cattery is nothing like the cost of yours

readymealeater · 09/12/2023 09:45

HollyBerryCrumble · 09/12/2023 09:37

I’m Home Counties - commuter belt for London so everything is £££

will have a look at apps etc. Good idea to ask 2 neighbours!

I really appreciate all the replies and perspective. I think my OCD is not helping me at all. Part of it is that I need to have everything sorted and organised ASAP so not being able to have a concrete plan even so early on is stressful. I also struggle with trust / letting strangers have the keys to our house so another reason we always did cattery in the past but this is all food for thought!

I've used pet sitters before and they've been fantastic. We're at the opposite end of the country to you though.

With a cat, just someone popping in should be enough. We had a lovely young woman come in to look after 5 cats we had at the time and she spent a lot of time cuddling them. I think she preferred animals to people!

Another time, we had a dog as well and a lovely older couple stayed in the house. They were amazing and the dog loved them.

Our house was old and not in great shape and I felt nervous about people see it, but it wasn't unhygienic and had all the mod cons, so I just went with it. It was all fine.

It's no bad thing having someone keep an eye on your house when you're away either!

slore · 09/12/2023 09:46

Lots of cat lovers would willingly look after your furry friend acquaintance. I would! I love the little fluffballs.

But yes cat sitters are cheap, and you've got bags of time to sort this out.

Your cat deserves to be properly loved. This is quite sad.

You can get automated cat feeders, and automated self-cleaning litter boxes that last about 40 days. But I'd rather have a human in to keep him company.

readymealeater · 09/12/2023 09:46

Our cat is a bastard. She’s loud, violent and not affectionate in the least.

😂

PP who said that cats respond to how you treat them in kind HA HA HA HA HA HA

Yes! When has a cat ever given a thought to anything their owner does/says/wants? It would be the first time in history if they did!

Wolfpa · 09/12/2023 09:47

I am on the team of getting and auto feeder then ask a friend to pop over occasionally to clean its litter and give it some affection.

You could also get cameras in your house so you can keep an eye out.

sunshineandshowers40 · 09/12/2023 09:48

Our neighbours feed our cat when we are away and I return the favour when they are away.

amylou8 · 09/12/2023 09:50

Cats are low maintenance, as long as someone pops in once and day and chucks some food at them they're happy. Have you a neighbour with cats that will be up for a holiday swap? Or a friend who lives close enough by can pop in and feed? If not a local teenager you vaugley know the parents of that wants to earn some pocket money.

hiredandsqueak · 09/12/2023 09:50

I used to pay the neighbour's teen to care for our rabbit when we went away. She was glad of the cash. We paid £50 for the fortnight and gave her another £10 to get him greens. We also brought her a gift back with us. It was only one visit a day and she lived opposite so not a great demand on her time. Should add it will be twenty years ago now.

DemelzaandRoss · 09/12/2023 09:51

I think the best thing would be to re home him. Alternatively you may find he adopts another household.
This time of the year most cats prefer being snuggled up indoors. The thought of leaving my cats with an automatic feeder is unthinkable.
You sound like a responsible owner & hopefully your local Cats Protection will find him a different home.

sonnybeaudelaire · 09/12/2023 09:53

I have a reciprocal arrangement with a neighbour and a number of potential teenagers as back ups (the neighbour is free as reciprocal and I pay the teenager).

Build your network and it will feel more manageable. It may take a while but does help.

Aydahayda · 09/12/2023 09:57

readymealeater · 09/12/2023 09:46

Our cat is a bastard. She’s loud, violent and not affectionate in the least.

😂

PP who said that cats respond to how you treat them in kind HA HA HA HA HA HA

Yes! When has a cat ever given a thought to anything their owner does/says/wants? It would be the first time in history if they did!

Yep!

Bellyblueboy · 09/12/2023 09:58

First of all why on earth did you get a pet!!! Did you do any research.

now that I have said that - cat sitter is the answer. Also can you get a cat flap installed?

I have a very spoiled, very loved cat. I left her at a cattery once and she became very ill. I will never use one again. Cat sitters are reasonable - I was recommended a lovely college student by my vet. She visited twice a day fed and played with the cat. Her mum is a nurse in the vets so I knew there was a support system there if the cat got ill or she was worried about anything. I checked on the cameras and some days she stayed for a couple of hours doing college work at the kitchen table - which was great for the cat who likes company.

for a week it cost £150. Worth every penny and I will use her again.

adviceneeded1990 · 09/12/2023 10:01

Have you got any friends with pets who could do it and you could return favour? My friend and I both have cats and feed each others when we’re on hols.

ClairDeLaLune · 09/12/2023 10:03

If he has to be let in and out of the house then I’m assuming you don’t have a cat flap? Get one! It will make it easier for someone to come round to your house to look after him, all they’ll need to do is feed him, they won’t have to worry about his toileting and getting him back in the house.

Aaron95 · 09/12/2023 10:03

Do you have a cat flap? If so get an automatic cat feeder. When we go away we leave the cat to it. She goes in and out whenever she wants and gets food dispensed twice a day.

Ginandjuice57884 · 09/12/2023 10:03

Look for a new home for him. It's good you're not under pressure to do so but if he's more of a burden than a joy to you then you should rehome him. I realised I'm probably at the extreme end of the pet owner spectrum but personally I'd never pay someone to look after my animals. Too expensive and based on experience I don't trust other people to follow instructions or be observant. Mine have medical needs and one very reactive dog who is fine with careful management but I'd never trust anyone else.

I go away by myself and leave the other half to look after them, and vice versa. We brought them into our lives and it's our job to ensure their lives are happy. Scaring them with random strangers or putting them in a cattery or kennels etc. is not a happy life. I'm not going to be in a hurry to get more once they die but I'm strapped in for the duration. I love them with my whole being, though. If I didn't I would probably feel very put upon!

VickyEadieofThigh · 09/12/2023 10:03

Galliano · 09/12/2023 09:32

Whereabouts are you? I am in Yorkshire and pay £22 a day for two cats, think it would be about £13 for one, so that sounds huge. Maybe someone can recommend one.

Indeed. I'm in Yorkshire and pay £25 a day to put my big dog in kennels that are the epitome of luxury!

SmokySilverShine · 09/12/2023 10:07

A relative keeps dog sitting for free, there are ( daft ) people out there. 🤣 Keep looking

ConstantRain · 09/12/2023 10:07

A friend who owns a cat is in a little 'cat feeding' group with her neighbours. They just take it in turns to feed a holidaying neighbours cat. See if any neighbours want to do this?

piscofrisco · 09/12/2023 10:08

I was a dog walker/cat feeder. I must have been undercharging as I only charged £8 a day for two pop ins to feed/change litter as needed. You don't needs a cattery OP.

SoupDragon · 09/12/2023 10:09

Aaron95 · 09/12/2023 10:03

Do you have a cat flap? If so get an automatic cat feeder. When we go away we leave the cat to it. She goes in and out whenever she wants and gets food dispensed twice a day.

Leaving a cat for 2 weeks with just an automatic pet feeder would be neglectful.

piscofrisco · 09/12/2023 10:09

I'm also Home Counties/commuter belt for ref....