To be offended

[Hammondhugh]

Messages from colleague to me:

them: “congrats by the way for the promotion, dint see you before the end of today”
me:”thanks. I appreciate it.”
them:”yeah you deserve it. If you didn’t get it I’d be annoyed. I’d hand in my notice because it would be a really poor choice”
me: “I’m happy. But we both know this was offered because I didn’t get the lead role I initially applied for. You know that though. You’ve been here long enough”
them: “fair play but I didn’t get my first promotion for 7 years in”
me: “you misunderstood me. I’m very happy I got it and I appreciate it. I’m just saying I know how my role came about”
them: “you better do. If anything I would always back your cause”
me: oh come on. You’re misunderstanding me here. I’m not being unappreciative. You’ve seen all I’ve done while my manager has been away. I’m happy I got the role. I’m just saying it’s because I didn’t get what I initially applied for I was offered this. I feel I’m being told off here”

Aibu? Do I sound unappreciative? For a side note I feel very patronised by him.

The person texting you just seems happy for you and supportive? If anything you seem a little defensive.

Do you not like this colleague? You seem to be looking for a fight there.

Op this is why conversations should be held on the phone or face to face. They were saying how happy they were for you and wou were jumping onto it like it was an attack!!

You are looking to be offended seems to happen often on here

You don't appear to be very happy that you got it! Why not just accept the congratulations and move on rather than looking for an argument?

YABU to be offended. I don't understand how or why you are offended!

You seem to be looking for a reason to be offended

They are being really nice and you are being really rude? Why on earth are YOU offended? It's them who should be offended!

You can't take a compliment can you? Jeez I bet he / she wishes they didn't bother. Although in fairness they're one of those Billy Bullshit types. "I'd hand my notice in" lol course they would.

I don't get why you said - you misunderstanding me. The person was sympathising that it also took them a long time to get a promo
You seem very prickly

Yabu for facing such a stupid conversation. You should simply have said thanks not the rest if it

You sound very hard work OP!

You sound miffed that you didn't get the role you wanted and feel as if this is a 'consolation prize'. Your colleague was trying to be supportive.

Which part of that offended you?

Should have just said thank you!

Although in fairness they're one of those Billy Bullshit types. "I'd hand my notice in" lol course they would.

Yeah, I did roll my eyes at this.

He’s been there way longer than me. He’s basically saying. You got the job with 4 years less experience so don’t sound so ungrateful.

Of course he wasn't. What a huge chip on your shoulder you have there 🤷🏻‍♀️

Get s grip...

@Hammondhugh I don't think that's what he's saying tbh. It sounds like he's saying "fair play to you for getting this promotion, it might not have been the one you originally wanted but getting the promotion you got is a big deal, it took me way longer to climb the ladder, you're onto good things etc' he was basically saying you're doing better than him.

*a grip.

Your responses here were dramatic:

me: “I’m happy. But we both know this was offered because I didn’t get the lead role I initially applied for. You know that though. You’ve been here long enough”

me: oh come on. You’re misunderstanding me here. I’m not being unappreciative. You’ve seen all I’ve done while my manager has been away. I’m happy I got the role. I’m just saying it’s because I didn’t get what I initially applied for I was offered this. I feel I’m being told off here”

just accept the thanks and go. Especially if you feel patronised. Why engage in that sort of conversation if you feel you have a poor relationship?

No but it’s the way he said “you better do”. It’s super patronising.

The colleague is responding with 'you better do' in response to your saying 'I know why I got it' As in, they think you should know you deserve it. You're being far too touchy, they sound really nice and supportive. Why would you be offended by that?!

You are being weird. They are being supportive of you mate you're not ready ready for the additional responsibility after all

I'm confused. I don't understand how you reached that conclusion about what he was "really" saying. Given these were messages so there was no tone of voice to gauge?