Am I terrible?

[Shakeylegs]

Just seen the thread about the person who accidentally didn’t pay for her big shop. Makes me wonder if my morals are in the bin because I’d not give it a second’s thought other than to chalk it up as a bit of good fortune.

the following three things have genuinely happened to me in the past few years, and I wonder if they make me immoral.

1. Bought some stuff off Amazon a few weeks ago. About £90 worth actually. Paid as normal. Transaction stayed ‘Pending’ for a week then disappeared and the money was never taken. I haven’t mentioned it.

2. Bought some petrol from an unstaffed supermarket petrol station. Put my card in as normal. Just as I was getting towards a tank-full, the pump just seized up and shut down. There was nobody around to ask, so I drove away. Was never charged any money for the fuel. Never mentioned it.

3. Bought some towels from a department store. Went to pay, and as I was doing so, asked if they’d mind storing them for me so that I didn’t have to carry them round all afternoon. They said fine. I didn’t pay at that point. Then when I went to pick them up, I was all ready to pay but the staff member just handed them to me and walked off, mistakenly assuming I’d previously paid. Again, I said nothing.

What do you think? I guess number 3 is the clearest cut bit of awfulness, but even then they literally handed me the stuff!

Weirdly, given what I’ve just admitted, I’d never actually steal something off a shelf. I even balked at ripped CDs back in the day, and wouldn’t touch a fire stick to get free Sky or whatever it is you can do. But those three things I did do. Am I awful?

I think God knows anyway. The amount of times I get ‘quality checked’ at the self service checkout. 24 items they checked today. Obviously all paid for cos I don’t steal except for special circumstances!

Yep this!

I once went to an ATM and the previous user had left £200 hanging out of the slot. I kept that (and spent most of it on booze). At the time I thought little of it but many years later I do feel guilty about it.

I reckon 1. is fine. I wouldn’t have given that any further thought. 2. and 3. are a bit iffy. 3 is borderline theft.

@Ohthatsfabulousdarling why did you refuse an upgrade on a flight?

Years ago I went to KFC, before drive thru became a thing. I took the kids with me to help me carry the large order.
I ordered everything but didn't pay. The order was put through to the back and then the server disappeared. Must have gone for break. When the order was ready another server handed it over and must have assumed I'd paid. I never left a shop so quickly in my life 😅😅😅

Why couldn't you pay? 😅😅😅

I went to restaurant to get a takeaway. Was having a grand old chat to the cashier (no one else there, not far off closing). She handed me the items and said "thanks for coming". My response? "Um, you haven't charged me yet!". She had completely forgotten.

Same at a fast food store, a new girl had undercharged me and I pointed it out to her.

That's what good morals are.

You’re having your life review after you die and this comes up. Do you care ? Does anyone ? I’m trying to understand why so many people on this site get so worked up

Pretty sure you won't be so casual when YOU are the one being defrauded.

It's actually sickening to read all this.

The amazon one, I probably wouldn't follow up in all honesty; but I would have paid for the towels and the fuel. I get awful anxiety about stuff like this!

Yeah I agree you should have paid the Amazon seller that’s different

But I don’t think you’re a bad person because of it

But that's too black and white. Most of us stick to the rules most of the time, that's what keeps society going. But there will always be times when even the best people do something wrong, and even the worst people do something right.

The test is if it happened to you or your business how would you feel. The size of the business doesn't matter. You're either honest or You're not. And it makes no difference if it was their mistake, if you knew. Everyone to their own, but don't pretend to be an honest person if you do this.

OP do you think maybe a proportion of the comment sections are like chatbots or something ?

I placed a large online order from John Lewis and received a pair of trainers in addition to all the items I ordered. I contacted customer services but they were wholly indifferent, just told me keep them. They weren't my style, so I sold them on eBay.

Another time I bought a top in John Lewis. It was only after I got home that I realised I'd been refunded for it, not charged. I thought about going back but after my previous experience with them, I decided not to bother.

Do I feel guilty? Not a jot. I certainly don't consider myself a bad person.

OP's not Jean Valjean, stealing a loaf of bread to feed a starving child. They, like so many others feel the rules don't apply to them. It's not complicated.

They think the rest of us are mugs for having self-respect. They are happy to trade theirs for the price of a tank of petrol, some towels or a takeaway.

It’s such an odd thing isn’t it, MNers are very “do as i say not as i do”

I certainly don't consider myself a bad person

Few people do. Even actual murderers and nonces are reported to see themselves as good people.

Your self-perception is just that. It's your own opinion about yourself. It might not match up with ours.

Your first John Lewis example, you did the right thing. The second time you choose to do the wrong thing, because there was a chance you might not get free stuff again.

I think there are bigger things to worry about

Why are you so emotionally affected by it though ? Sickening, come on

I found a gift card with about 150 pounds on it in M and S. I tried to hand it in at customer service, they were indifferent. I kept it unused for about 2 months in case someone claimed it or cancelled it. In the end I gave it to a hard up relative.

I'm not sickened by OP's instances of dishonesty. What sickens me is the widespread attitude of entitlement so many seem to have.

It makes the world worse for everyone and the world is bad enough as it is.

@LylaLee totally agree. Also people showing an alarming lack of knowledge about how Amazon works, “Amazon” isn’t selling you the products, they are a platform and you are purchasing from a third party, which is often a small business.

Number 1 & 2 are pretty bad, but Number 3 is out and out theft, you knew you hadn't paid and you took the goods anyway. Given number 3 I expect the only thing keeping you from stealing again is the fear of getting caught.

It's not good enough to justify it because they're big business. Poorly paid staff work at these companies and might get in trouble because of your behaviour, and Amazon is full of small businesses. So your actions may well have impacted a small business and a retail worker. As an early PP said our morales are how we behave when no one is watching. Yours are lacking.

I get excited with my food shop arrival in case I get items I didn't order!

nothing has quite lived up to the dizzying heights of 3 litre bottles of gin I got but I live in hope every week