Am I terrible?

[Shakeylegs]

Just seen the thread about the person who accidentally didn’t pay for her big shop. Makes me wonder if my morals are in the bin because I’d not give it a second’s thought other than to chalk it up as a bit of good fortune.

the following three things have genuinely happened to me in the past few years, and I wonder if they make me immoral.

1. Bought some stuff off Amazon a few weeks ago. About £90 worth actually. Paid as normal. Transaction stayed ‘Pending’ for a week then disappeared and the money was never taken. I haven’t mentioned it.

2. Bought some petrol from an unstaffed supermarket petrol station. Put my card in as normal. Just as I was getting towards a tank-full, the pump just seized up and shut down. There was nobody around to ask, so I drove away. Was never charged any money for the fuel. Never mentioned it.

3. Bought some towels from a department store. Went to pay, and as I was doing so, asked if they’d mind storing them for me so that I didn’t have to carry them round all afternoon. They said fine. I didn’t pay at that point. Then when I went to pick them up, I was all ready to pay but the staff member just handed them to me and walked off, mistakenly assuming I’d previously paid. Again, I said nothing.

What do you think? I guess number 3 is the clearest cut bit of awfulness, but even then they literally handed me the stuff!

Weirdly, given what I’ve just admitted, I’d never actually steal something off a shelf. I even balked at ripped CDs back in the day, and wouldn’t touch a fire stick to get free Sky or whatever it is you can do. But those three things I did do. Am I awful?

I think God knows anyway. The amount of times I get ‘quality checked’ at the self service checkout. 24 items they checked today. Obviously all paid for cos I don’t steal except for special circumstances!

OP actually thinks she’s a comedian for thieving. She’s not looking for re assurances she’s basically bragging that she’s get away with stealing.

Seems a bit weird and unhinged to come online and get your kicks while bragging that you’re stealing.

Wasn’t mocking anyone. Sorry if it came across that way.

But that just isn’t true though. I could probably get away with loads if I wanted to. Self-checkouts are a thief’s playground. But I never do.

Some would argue that it’s weird and unhinged to incorrectly assign motive to the behaviours of others.

I think you’re normal.

Outrage at accidental undercharging / finding money and forward facing car seats seem to the be the two areas where mumsnet is a very alien world to what I see in real life.

Completely agree. The third one will mean you’ve caused another person stress and upset when the the mistake is found out. I don’t know how you can do that. Hopefully they’ve got you on cttv for next time you go in.

I imagine you’re the first person to complain if this happened to you!

I must be too honest - is there such a thing? - as I'd have had to follow up the first two unpaid items and then spoken out to say I'd not paid for the towels yet.

1 & 2 moderately fine, but 3 is plain stealing

I once got charged for one top in sainsburys, when I bought 2, amoungstbother things. I never went back when I discovered I'd only paid for one. I still feel guilty now. A few years ago, I was off sick from work with anxiety. I went to m&s food shop and bought a pile of things. When I got home, I realised I hadn't paid for one packet of Crisps. The anxiety I felt was horrendous. In my head, I was going to prison and going to struck off the NMC register. So I drove to another close store to pay the £1.50. The cashier looked at me like I was mad.

I should add, there is no sainsburys near where I live. I visiting another town.

Well, if you were overcharged or charged twice for the fuel, you would definitely have found someone to help you there. Not criticising you at all, I’m just saying if it was me I’d worry I’d have to pay it back elsewhere and it would serve me right.

Are you not worried it will get taken off you in other ways?

At the moment I just hope nobody makes any mistakes with me because I don’t have the energy or time to chase it up and try try to put it right, which is often as much hassle as when I have been wronged.

1&2 understandable because at the time you had no way of knowing whether they would/wouldn't charge you. Plus amazon and asda are huge businesses and the fault was due to automated systems - there was no individual around that would have been blamed for the error.

3 is completely different - you knew you were stealing at the time and it's likely if it was picked up the individual handing you the items would get in trouble and potentially lose their job.

I agree with the majority, number 3 is theft because there was the intent behind it- you knew you hadn't paid when you walked out. 1 and 2 not so much.

The errors were not OP's fault. Doing nothing to rectify them is where OP went wrong.

Everyone knows most self checkouts record you. And shops have CCTV. In fact sometimes they allow thieves to 'build up' a case against themselves by being caught multiple times on CCTV.

In other cases, like where something is unattended, you're not sure whether or not you'll get caught, so you don't risk it. But when you are fairly sure you will get away with it, you steal.

Those are your morals.

The fact they were large companies rather than small doesn't make you any less dishonest

So you’ve determined that because of the three examples I gave, my morals are that I will steal when I’m fairly sure I can get away with it?

That’s quite a leap. I’ve never done it other than those three occasions, all of which were freakish occurrences. I am presented with easy theft opportunities every day of my life, but never take them.

I think all three examples are immoral. Whenever someone makes a mistake - it doesn't matter on the size of the retailer - I attempt to correct it. In the case of Amazon, I have been told before by Customer Services not to bother, but I've given them the option.

A couple of times I've corrected my restaurant bill to pay a lot more, the server has been hugely relieved. I'm not sure of the legalities of it as I don't work in retail, but I've ben given the impression that if I hadn't identified and sorted the mistake, they would have been somehow personally liable.

The one thing I will say is I've never struggled to feed or house myself. I suppose it's easier to have morals when you're not on the poverty line.

I would absolutely judge the hell out of anyone in a similar financial position to me who didn't correct mistakes undercharging them.

I once saw somebody drop £20 at the cash point. I called out to them but they kept going. I picked up the £20 and chased after her. She didn't turn around so I had to overtake her and tell her to her face that she dropped the money. She looked at me, looked at the money, snatched it from my hand and walked off without a word. Hopefully it was her £200 you spent.

Tesco stole a sandwich from me once. I wonder how may others it’s happened to

I remember when my car was stolen in my twenties. I wanted to sell it anyway. The insurers were great and paid out they valued car for what I had bought it for a few years before. The day after the payment was confirmed the police found the flipping car. I rang to tell the insurers this the lady was really nice said the file was closed they had released the funds did I want to just forget about it?! Was so pleased and didn’t have to feel the guilt.

Might have been you that tipped them into bankruptcy haha. The towel that broke the camel's back!

3 is just stealing imho.

2 is reasonable - if there was no one there then you didn't have much choice but to drive off. You could have gone back the next day but I doubt they would have had a record of the amount taken if the machine broke so probably would have told you not to worry.

1 - I think I'd trust Amazon to look after itself.

Also with the Amazon one - you did everything you could to ensure the payment went through - ie entered your card details etc. The store then later failed to process the payment correctly. That was completely out of your hands and I don't think there's an onus on you the customer to fix it. So I think the Amazon one is fine.

The same is true of the parking lot - you were there prepared to pay, but the machine broke and then there was no one to take payment. That's not your fault, it's the store's, and again I don't think the onus is on the customer to wait around until there's someone who can charge.

It's different from the lady who accidentally walked away with a big shop, as she (accidentally) didn't complete the card transaction at the self checkout machine - ie it was her error. So the right thing to do would have been to correct it. Similarly with the towels - the OP didn't offer to pay when she was in the shop.

Exactly. The prospect of trying to contact a petrol station and persuading them to bill you makes my blood run cold. Amazon probably even worse ( don’t know, don’t approve of Amazon, never use)?

The towels, it wouldn’t have crossed my mind not to walk out without paying for them.