To be pissed off

[anonqrtb]

I imagine I will be told i am being unreasonable and that is fine, i just need to rant somewhere as i can't irl.

Me and my partner have worked our asses off for the last 4 years to scrape together enough money to purchase (shared ownership so 40%) our home. We both worked full time in stressful jobs, whilst paying private rent and the cost of living rising and rising. My partner was made redundant in this time due to Covid, so when i say its been a struggle to get here i really mean it.

However, a family member has just been given the EXACT same house a few streets away on our estate through social housing. She never had a job as got pregnant young and had multiple kids afterwards, and she has ended up in the same position as we have. Obviously, both working we do have slightly more spare cash at the end of the month but due to paying mortgage and rent we actually pay more to live in the same house then she does. We worked it out and we basically only have an extra £150 per month than her.

It now turns out that shes really annoyed because her friend has been given a house ont he same estate but hers is larger, detached and with a garage - a house we could have no afforded for another maybe 10 years of saving.

AIBU to think just what is the point in working so hard when it doesnt see to get us any further forward?

I want to point out i have nothing against SH, they provide homes for those who need them. Just feels really deflating

I think comparing yourself to others is par for the course, as on the face of it we're all going to feel on occasions we have both ends of a shitty stick.

I remember coming home after a 70hr week doing home care to find my unemployed neighbours topping up their tans and laughing at my life choices to my face.

Mine and my then neighbours house are both LA.

I am also waiting on the goat, but am blessed by my new neighbours scrap pile and rubbish blowing on to my lawn.

Got my goat

You're doing so much better than she is. So much better. You have prospects. A future. Security. Bloody well done on all your graft. You will achieve much.

Just focus on yourself, your future and don't get bitter about what you perceive others as "getting for nothing."

I used to work for a HA. Vast majority of tenants I dealt with had not worked for years.

@Babyroobs the OP may also be a HA tenant , she is buying 40% of the house and paying rent on the other 60%, it could quite possibly be to a HA.

@vodkaredbullgirl he's a stunner, but he'll keep the lawn to a respectable length so you'll have to counteract with the kids pulling each other up the road in the recycling bin!

She hasn't been 'given' a house. She is renting a house. Social housing is needed and private rents are too high and the standard is unacceptable.

When her dc grow up and move out she will likely have to move to a small flat or pay bedroom tax. She will have to pay rent for the rest of her life. Ok, she may stay on benefits but it's no life really being at the mercy of the government.

I know several people who have actually been given houses, as they have inherited from grandparents. A couple of these people have never worked either and have now been gifted properties. Is that fair?

I know someone who had a baby, never went back to work, her husband works, the baby goes to nursery all week even though she's not at work, AND she inherited a house. Is that fair?

Everyone takes different paths and some people get lucky. Just do the best for yourself.

Op I understand I am privately renting and cannot get a mortgage on my single wage, there are zero shared ownership's available here. You are both better off than I 🤷‍♀️

Babyroobs - thank you for posting when you used to work for a HA and presumably thus know more about this subject than the rest of us. Can you expand on what you said.
Do they not work because they can't (ie seriously disabled) or do they just 'choose' not to work and get their housing paid by benefits?
In the 2nd option how do they get away with this? I mean what excuses do they give.
I've never lived in social housing so I'm just interested from following this thread.
Thanks