To be pissed off

[anonqrtb]

I imagine I will be told i am being unreasonable and that is fine, i just need to rant somewhere as i can't irl.

Me and my partner have worked our asses off for the last 4 years to scrape together enough money to purchase (shared ownership so 40%) our home. We both worked full time in stressful jobs, whilst paying private rent and the cost of living rising and rising. My partner was made redundant in this time due to Covid, so when i say its been a struggle to get here i really mean it.

However, a family member has just been given the EXACT same house a few streets away on our estate through social housing. She never had a job as got pregnant young and had multiple kids afterwards, and she has ended up in the same position as we have. Obviously, both working we do have slightly more spare cash at the end of the month but due to paying mortgage and rent we actually pay more to live in the same house then she does. We worked it out and we basically only have an extra £150 per month than her.

It now turns out that shes really annoyed because her friend has been given a house ont he same estate but hers is larger, detached and with a garage - a house we could have no afforded for another maybe 10 years of saving.

AIBU to think just what is the point in working so hard when it doesnt see to get us any further forward?

I want to point out i have nothing against SH, they provide homes for those who need them. Just feels really deflating

Oh, look, it is the bi-monthly HA tenants bashing thread with a smattering of ableism thrown in for extra froth.

You lot would be annoyed at a homeless couple with a baby on the way being "given" a stable.

I agree.

You're far better off long term, trust me.

I think some people need to ask themselves why they think poor/disabled people/single parents/low earners etc don't deserve to live in nice homes?

Are those people only deserving of shit holes?

Why can't you just be happy with what you've achieved OP? You have an asset which many people living in HA properties will never have. You will potentially make money off it, leave an inheritance to your kids and hopefully later in life if you're able to buy outright not have to worry about mortgage or rent payments.

I assume you and DH pay into a private pension through your jobs and will probably progress in your careers and be so much better off in the long run.

So it is so weird that you're jealous somebody is RENTING (not been given) a home you deem to be what? Too nice for them?

The proposal upthread to bring back the ghettos as if someone wrote that down and pressed post.
I don't think the OP is real, I think it's a Tory Party employee fishing for public opinion sock puppeting with the ghetto suggestion.

On the slim chance you are real, stop moaning, quit your job, have another baby and apply for social housing. Bag yourself one of those detached with a garage. You can sleep on your piles of benefit money.

YANBU. so many people just go through life getting it all handed to them. I'm not talking about those too ill to work or the disabled. It's fine people saying you will own an asset, an asset that will likely be sold to pay care home fees if you need to wheras others get it all paid for. You will likely also be paying into a private pension due to working and that will likely just rule you out of any top ups at pension age whilst those who have barely worked get a similar amount. Again I am not talking about those too ill to work. The whole system sucks. I hope that when her kids are grown up and flown the nest that she will need to downsize.

You are making an investment in shared ownership.

She is renting.

In the long run you will always be better off than her.

Op will own 40% unless she can manage to raise a mortgage to buy the rest.

Why are you even 'working it out'? You can't know what her exact income is unless you're incredibly nosey. You own, she doesn't. You sound judgemental.

I understand your annoyance.
I remember saying to my dad, when I was 18 and annoyed because someone I went to school with had been given a council flat, that it felt unfair.
He said ‘yeah but that’s as good as it’ll ever get for them. That’s all they’ll have’
and he was right. We worked hard to buy our first flat, and then we moved on and now have a beautiful home. That persons still in the same council flat, 15 years on.

congratulations on your purchase, onwards and upwards!

Yes! How dare people in social housing have gardens! There are parks they can visit aren't there.

Get back in the slums.

Completely get this feeling! But you know it isn't right.

We've all felt this way about something at one time or other. I have a friend who had their first baby at the same time as me. They've gone on to have loads because they don't work so don't have to cover childcare etc where as we stopped at one because we simply couldn't afford it - and that's not because we have things they don't. They actually have loads more. Every time she was pregnant it broke my heart because it was all I wanted but I would have to give up work or find another salary to cover. We are the squeezed middle so 0 help with childcare. They also have a brand new house through a HA that looks amazing while mine looks less fresh by the day but it's mine.

Your post is dripping in jealousy!

And so are others on this thread! Laughable really

Hmm a friend of mine was given a house as she got pregnant at 16. After many years, they purchased the house for next to nothing because of the right to buy reduced rate and are mortgage free.

So many things in life seem unfair. Best thing to do is to not think or worry what others are doing or have just concentrate on what you have and you’ll have a much happier time

It's worrying!

I wouldn’t personally want to live on a council estate, but of course this does happen yes

A lot of councils eventually worked out high rise flats (multi-storeys) caused too many social problems by having too many people in too small a space . No car parking room for instance . Not suitable for disabled or elderly tenants .Certainly not really good for children , who wants children having to use lifts on their own ?

@berksandbeyond That is incredibly snobby. Why wouldn't you want to live on one? I live in one of the greenest areas in the country and some of the council estates are genuinely lovely. There aren't settees in the front garden or drug busts on every council estate you know?

So basically: you can't enjoy the comfortable home that you worked hard to buy because someone gets to rent a home near you?

No, I don't understand you. Why do you care? If they snatched your house away from you before you could buy it and gave it to someone for free, I could sympathize, but to get upset over a person getting a similar house because you somehow feel they don't deserve it is IMO insane. How on earth does that have anything to do with you?

In my native country there is a saying about people who get caught up in imaginary grievances and are too judgemental towards others: they walk in too tight shoes. I would suggest you get a bigger shoe size. Be grateful you and your partner can manage without help and stop obsessing about other people's homes, Hyacinth Bucket.

I'm glad this lady got a nice home

And you should be too op! Nasty post

On your estate OP, odds are they'll be couples your age who are buying 100% of their houses with more left over each month than you because they were given help from parents to buy. They'll be others who are buying because they earn more than you, maybe even for working less hard. They'll be downsizers buying outright after making huge profits from house price increases. They'll be wealthy landlords who have made millions from inflated rents and are adding to their portfolio.
My point, life does not deal everyone a fair hand. There are countless people in a much better position than you who don't 'deserve' to be any more than you think your relative does. And as pp asked, would you swap lives with her? Because if not, why single her out for resentment? Stop comparing and enjoy your home.

I used to think that but then I realised . You’ve done better than her. You have something that you can pass down to your kids they don’t. You can say in years to come that you own your lovely house and it will always be yours. Plus you can have the pleasure of working your ass off to own it.

We worked hard to buy our first flat, and then we moved on and now have a beautiful home. That persons still in the same council flat, 15 years on

Is a person's worth measured by the type of home they have?

Maybe they are perfectly happy in their council flat. (Maybe their punctuation is better too).

I have put in a claim for my free goat, still waiting.

Did you get your free sofa with the stuffing hanging out for the front garden, though?