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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off

134 replies

anonqrtb · 07/12/2023 09:17

I imagine I will be told i am being unreasonable and that is fine, i just need to rant somewhere as i can't irl.

Me and my partner have worked our asses off for the last 4 years to scrape together enough money to purchase (shared ownership so 40%) our home. We both worked full time in stressful jobs, whilst paying private rent and the cost of living rising and rising. My partner was made redundant in this time due to Covid, so when i say its been a struggle to get here i really mean it.

However, a family member has just been given the EXACT same house a few streets away on our estate through social housing. She never had a job as got pregnant young and had multiple kids afterwards, and she has ended up in the same position as we have. Obviously, both working we do have slightly more spare cash at the end of the month but due to paying mortgage and rent we actually pay more to live in the same house then she does. We worked it out and we basically only have an extra £150 per month than her.

It now turns out that shes really annoyed because her friend has been given a house ont he same estate but hers is larger, detached and with a garage - a house we could have no afforded for another maybe 10 years of saving.

AIBU to think just what is the point in working so hard when it doesnt see to get us any further forward?

I want to point out i have nothing against SH, they provide homes for those who need them. Just feels really deflating

OP posts:
berksandbeyond · 07/12/2023 19:19

WhamBamThankU · 07/12/2023 18:43

@berksandbeyond That is incredibly snobby. Why wouldn't you want to live on one? I live in one of the greenest areas in the country and some of the council estates are genuinely lovely. There aren't settees in the front garden or drug busts on every council estate you know?

I (obviously) don’t know every council estate in the country, and neither do you. The ones in my town are not somewhere I would like to live if I had a choice (which luckily I do). If you want to, then that’s great!

BIossomtoes · 07/12/2023 19:21

IClaudine · 07/12/2023 18:07

Oh, look, it is the bi-monthly HA tenants bashing thread with a smattering of ableism thrown in for extra froth.

You lot would be annoyed at a homeless couple with a baby on the way being "given" a stable.

You read my mind.

berksandbeyond · 07/12/2023 19:22

IClaudine · 07/12/2023 19:09

We worked hard to buy our first flat, and then we moved on and now have a beautiful home. That persons still in the same council flat, 15 years on

Is a person's worth measured by the type of home they have?

Maybe they are perfectly happy in their council flat. (Maybe their punctuation is better too).

If they are perfectly happy in their council flat, then good for them! We all have different dreams, ambitions and standards.

GirrlCrush · 07/12/2023 19:22

Did op say it was a council property or SH?

May well be a housing association home

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/12/2023 19:23

IClaudine · 07/12/2023 19:16

Did you get your free sofa with the stuffing hanging out for the front garden, though?

Show quote history

I gave that to my neighbour, they were jealous they couldn't get one.

IClaudine · 07/12/2023 19:31

vodkaredbullgirl · 07/12/2023 19:23

I gave that to my neighbour, they were jealous they couldn't get one.

Show quote history

🤣

Tina221 · 07/12/2023 19:37

Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting.

Dymaxion · 07/12/2023 19:43

@anonqrtb who owns the other 60% of your house ?

Babyroobs · 07/12/2023 19:53

Dymaxion · 07/12/2023 19:43

@anonqrtb who owns the other 60% of your house ?

That's actually a really good point ! I hadn't thought of it like that.

IClaudine · 07/12/2023 19:58

Dymaxion · 07/12/2023 19:43

@anonqrtb who owns the other 60% of your house ?

Yes, good point. They got "given" it, I guess. Just like their family member.

GirrlCrush · 07/12/2023 20:15

Shared ownership is such a con

When do you ever get to 'own' it? In the meantime, you are renting still

LakieLady · 07/12/2023 20:21

CasaAmarela · 07/12/2023 10:38

I agree. It would stop people keeping council houses in their families for generations when they don't even need them.

Show quote history

Do many councils still do that?

Here, adult children have no right of succession to council tenancies when the original tenant dies or goes into residential care.

CasaAmarela · 07/12/2023 21:23

LakieLady · 07/12/2023 20:21

Do many councils still do that?

Here, adult children have no right of succession to council tenancies when the original tenant dies or goes into residential care.

Show quote history

I know one family personally that have - wasn't aware other councils had stopped it.

Emeraldrings · 07/12/2023 21:33

Dotjones · 07/12/2023 10:16

Social housing should be segregated from private housing - there should be specific estates for social housing so that situations like the OP's are less likely to occur. Also social housing should be means-tested on a regular basis, if people's income rises they should no longer qualify for social housing. Not necessarily be kicked out of their homes but rents should be increased to market levels.

Shall we also build walls and gates around those estates so that people in social housing don't contaminate house owners?
Or you could try and not be so ridiculous.

TedWilson · 07/12/2023 21:50

YANBU, it would piss me off too. Presumably she gets housing benefit so technically doesn't "pay" her rent either (I'll prob be shot down in flames for that).

FrasierReboot · 07/12/2023 23:35

For lots of people living in social housing, it is a 'free' house as a large proportion have never worked a day in their lives and get their rent paid. Not a popular opinion on here but it is a fact and it is sickening tbh.

salsmum · 08/12/2023 03:31

When they brought out the bedroom tax for those who were on benefits if they couldn't afford to pay for the extra room ( sometimes a tiny box room) they were indeed forced to give up their homes and move away. We used to have a lot of council flats overlooking the Thames in Woolwich where I worked when I was younger.., they pulled down the flats and have made them into posh apartments because the residents wanted the view that those working class clearly didn't deserve to enjoy. Angry
When I had a new ( not high end) kitchen fitted in my HA house the rent went up when I asked when it would go back down ( once kitchen paid for) I was told the rent won't go down so in effect we never stopped paying for the kitchen! 😐

gnarlynarwhal · 08/12/2023 04:05

Mumof2teens79 · Yesterday 09:20

But you have shared ownership and she hasn't been given a house, she is renting

But a lot of the time peoples homes end up having to be sold to pay for care home fees leaving hardly anything from the home to pass on to the children anyway.

rainpleasestop · 08/12/2023 05:27

I live in HA for over 55s and no bungalow can't be left to children (not that I have any) just your spouse if you die first.

vodkaredbullgirl · 08/12/2023 06:48

FrasierReboot · 07/12/2023 23:35

For lots of people living in social housing, it is a 'free' house as a large proportion have never worked a day in their lives and get their rent paid. Not a popular opinion on here but it is a fact and it is sickening tbh.

Really, most the people where I live do work.

sandgrown · 08/12/2023 06:57

I understand your pain. I have an old house that needs lots of work. I drive an old banger . I have two jobs. My SIL and husband haven’t worked for years . She has mobility problems due to being very overweight. They have a full renovation and adapted bathroom each time they move. The have a brand new car on mobility. They also have a holiday caravan they go to at weekends. I do have pride though that I have got this far through hard work .

IClaudine · 08/12/2023 08:56

sandgrown · 08/12/2023 06:57

I understand your pain. I have an old house that needs lots of work. I drive an old banger . I have two jobs. My SIL and husband haven’t worked for years . She has mobility problems due to being very overweight. They have a full renovation and adapted bathroom each time they move. The have a brand new car on mobility. They also have a holiday caravan they go to at weekends. I do have pride though that I have got this far through hard work .

I am really glad to see that your SiL's local council is so forward thinking. Residential care is so expensive. Much cheaper to enable people to stay in their own homes. Also, adapting a home to suit a disabled person's needs reduces the chances of them having a serious accident and costing the NHS time and money.

The motability scheme is great too, isn't it? Excellent idea to allow people to use their PIP money to pay for leasing a car. So many disabled people would be trapped in their homes without it.

cadburyegg · 08/12/2023 09:32

Here, adult children have no right of succession to council tenancies when the original tenant dies or goes into residential care.

They don't hear either. One of my colleagues died in her 50s from cancer. She had lived in a council house since her children were babies, her husband had left. When she died her youngest son was 19/20 and still living with her, he was given 2 weeks to move out and clear the house before the next tenant moved in.

cadburyegg · 08/12/2023 09:32

*here

Emeraldrings · 08/12/2023 10:13

FrasierReboot · 07/12/2023 23:35

For lots of people living in social housing, it is a 'free' house as a large proportion have never worked a day in their lives and get their rent paid. Not a popular opinion on here but it is a fact and it is sickening tbh.

Just out of interest how many people do you know who have never worked a day in their lives who live in SH?
I don't know any. Most don't get housing benefit either. I live in SH, I work 35 hours a week, DH works 42 and we still can't afford to buy or rent privately.
There are quite a few people who live in the same area and are in the same situation.
So how many people do you know? Or are basing your opinion on those ridiculous documentaries that used to be on C4/5?
Shockingly some people who rent privately get housing benefit too, which doesn't cover the full cost of rent anyway.

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