The thing is op, you have your own life plan. And it’s a valid one. You don’t need his permission or validation to follow it (and if you do, ask yourself why?) And why were you dancing to his tune? Can you not lay your own path?
You are an attractive person with innate high value and his life plan does not correspond with yours. There is no need for guilt. It’s not appropriate here.
Every mature adult knows that love alone is not enough sometimes, trite though that sounds, it’s true! And love is a verb. Not a vague unfulfilled promise that comes to nothing and keeps you in an unhappy place.
He wants something different to you. And you want something different to him. You could say (although I think he is a dishonourable whazzock) that neither of you is wrong. You have had a valid relationship. But he misled you really. He is not in a place to commit. So it’s time to move on.
Why you are worried about destroying him when he cares so little for your hopes for the future, I do not know! Be aware of a phenomenon known as “the tyranny of the weak”
I hope the viewing goes well tonight!
And here’s a tankful of courage to keep you strong! You need it atm but things will work out far better than they were, just give it time.
Please keep your wits about you too. It’s at these pivotal moments in relationships when some controlling men turn nasty, or they try and pull the rug out from under you by love bombing. Keep
strong. Whatever he does now it’s too little and too late.
And believe me, if you are going to procreate with someone, raising children is so tough that you need someone wholeheartedly, fully and completely committed, you don’t want someone who is mimsy, unsure, half-hearted, closed, and who you have to drag along with you like another child! You deserve, far, far, more than that op, and so do your future dc!