To be annoyed that my friend ( a teacher) may be disciplined for telling parents one of her pupils took a pregnancy test?

[NiceTry]

The girl had confided in her and the test was arranged, via school nurse but my colleague decided that the girl's parents should be informed and may now face disciplinary procedures because the girl had not consented to this (the test was negative by the way). Obviously the girl (and parents) are very upset. But did she do the right thing?

This is what really worries me. Does your friend think along the same lines as you? Because you seem convinced that what she did was right, really. And it wasn't. Legally or morally or pragmatically.

The girl in question had the maturity to go to the school nurse. Had any of the questions you raise been an issue, I'm sure the nurse would have supported her. Sadly she probably won't trust adults again after you friend betrayed her. And neither will her peers. So any other girl who IS pregnant, or does contract an STD etc. etc. is much less likely to get the help they need.

I notice you didn't ask 'what if she'd been abused by a member of her family'. If that had been the case, your friend's intervention could have had appalling results.

She should not have told the parents if it was against the wishes of the girl.

Yes, word will 'get around'. What happens to the next girl who needs someone to confide in? Your friend has sent out the message loud and clear that teachers can't be trusted.

What a great post Mamazon.

Message withdrawn

years of rapport building, trust and non-judgemental approach to pupils difficulties undermined by one selfish high minded teacher

I think Jammi has hit the nail on the head with this comment - "its not about what we would like as parents".

This should be about the girl, not her parents and not a teacher who, it appears, informed the parents because it satisfied some 'moral' code in herself.

They are legally obliged to inform the parents if they believe underaged sex has taken place, so nothing to do with internal morals.

NiceTry, I think - I hope - that I do love my daughters unconditionally. (Although as TYV points out, a lot of parents don't - they/we say 'I just want you to be happy' but that means in reality 'I want you to be happy in ways that would make me happy'.)

I want my daughters to be safe. I am not the only adult in their lives, even now while they're little. I want them to have other adults they can trust unconditionally. I want them to be taught by teachers who would keep things confidential, if anyone in the class told them something that needed to be kept confidential (as I bet they are, quite often).

I don't want a teacher who'll grass them up because it makes her feel better.

Doctors are legally obliged to keep a confisentiality of a child over 12 (AFAIK) but a teacher is not, a teacher is obliged to disclose this. Unless the law has been changed in the past 10 years, which I concede is entirely possible.

"They are legally obliged to inform the parents if they believe underaged sex has taken place, so nothing to do with internal morals."

Is that true Colditz? Our doctor's surgery has a sign up specifically saying that any advice sought on contraception etc will be treated as confidential REGARDLESS OF AGE (their capitals). So that would seem not to be the case for them...?

THe teacher is a fucking idiot who should be fired. How dare she betray someone else's confidence like that? A teenage girl is a person not a piece of property, with every right to privacy.

Nicetry, I was thinking about the STD/positive test etc too.
I'd also have wanted to know as the parent, but I'd have wanted my child to feel able to tell me herself.
Did anyone see the chanel4(I think) Pramfaced Babies tonight? Why are kids still having kids anyway? The condom seems to be missing from the sex lives of many people today, not least these youngsters - children who are far too young to be considering a sexual relationship anyway. Surely first and foremost, parents should be talking to their children about sex, thus making it an easier subject for kids to broach with their parent/s in the first instance?
Your friend was in the wrong, but the parents need to shoulder some of that blame for not instilling the confidence needed in their daughter to enable her to talk to the right people in the first place. Them.

ah, cross-posted with your last post. Well, I'm not a teacher so i don't know about the legalities, but it was still morally wrong of her to tell IMO.

Is that Victoria fecking Gillick's legacy, Colditz?

But a teacher is not a doctor.

I had conversations with teachers aged 14 that the teacher (fantastic as she was) stopped halfway through and told me to go to my doctor now, straight away, and don't tell her anything else unless I want my parents to know.

I don't know who that it, MI

Ah, you are young .

Oh MI I was only 3! I don't feel so about not knowing now.

I don't know if that is to do with Nutter Gilllick though. Alledgedly.

Solo, I don't think it's fair to blame the parents here. We don't know why the girl didn't tell them, she could have had all sorts of reasons. One girl I know didn't tell her parents about her pg because the family was facing all sorts of problems and she didn't want to add to them.

i had to do a paper on gillick at college.

didn't she have half a dozen kids?
and yet she said Dr's were encourageing promiscuity if they allowed under age girls to take the pill.

She was laughed out of court though thankfully.

nutjob

...so you lot would want to know your child was having sex after she was pregnant @ 14 then obviously...part of me believes what she did was wrong...but part of thinks should a 14yr old be friggin having sex???? and her parents not know?...who tha hell is gonna be responsible when the baby pops out?...

Mumcentreplus, what, you think parents should be allowed to watch their DC having sex or something? 14-year-olds are people. As parents we can advise them and support them to the best of our abilities but we don't own them.