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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that my friend ( a teacher) may be disciplined for telling parents one of her pupils took a pregnancy test?

506 replies

NiceTry · 13/03/2008 22:04

The girl had confided in her and the test was arranged, via school nurse but my colleague decided that the girl's parents should be informed and may now face disciplinary procedures because the girl had not consented to this (the test was negative by the way). Obviously the girl (and parents) are very upset. But did she do the right thing?

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeBunnies · 16/03/2008 22:12

BUCKETHEAD

oh, rofl

hotcrossMonkeybun · 16/03/2008 22:13

Madamez, I was just thinking about whether this TROLL might be a DM staffer in disguise short of a story to 'tell the REAL truth about mothers today...'

NiceTry · 16/03/2008 22:14

SM - because I am anonymous anyway and anyway, I'd rather be buckethead than madamez!
Oh! and Daily Mail - excellent newspaper, I buy it daily.

OP posts:
NiceTry · 16/03/2008 22:16

Are Daily Mail readers not aloud to use mumsnet?

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/03/2008 22:16

oh no trust me on this NiceTry forever synonymous with inane ranting dribble.you are irredeemable hun (cos i think you are a hun)

VictorianSqualor · 16/03/2008 22:17

Am glad people carried on chatting though I think Scottishmummy has been on form on this thread!

scottishmummy · 16/03/2008 22:18

so fess up bucket head- this was an inane wind up Non^?

madamez · 16/03/2008 22:19

Nah, if she was from the Daily Mail she'd have managed to mention that the girl was possibly pregnant by an IMMIGRANT - or is that your next move, Nicetry?

NiceTry · 16/03/2008 22:20

I'll let you know tomorrow the outcome of this.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/03/2008 22:23

bucket head off for a KFC and time to remember concoct new illuminating facts that will surely have us all apologising -doh don't hold yer breath

BoysAreLikeBunnies · 16/03/2008 22:24

Oh you are funny, NiceTry

spina · 16/03/2008 23:08

i came on here to comment but am now very confused by details.I've only managed the first 9 pages and the last three.

I deal with 14 years olds who are sexually active in my job and was going to join in the discussion. i'm now v. unsure of facts.

ps i also deal with people who are addicted to heroin.

I'm going to read the update with interest.

camillathechicken · 16/03/2008 23:13

By NiceTry on Sun 16-Mar-08 21:44:22
Just realised what this mumsnet thing is all about, the majority of you do not want to take responsibility for the welfare of your children. You expect your nursery to wean them onto solids, your primary school teacher to teach them how to read and instill moral values, plonk them in front of cbeebies while you are on the computer all day, expect school nurses, youth workers and teachers to give them contraceptive and drug advice, social workers and counsellors to deal with their anti-social behaviour and self-esteem issues and finally the police to deal with the fallout. Your politically correct, socialist values will totally screw you up in the end. Society today is wrong, children are more aware of their rights than their responsibilities. Please 'parent' your children yourselves and accept responsibility for them.

really? really? that is what you think

well, why are you sticking around, trying to make us all see the error of our ways, according to the gospel of Nicetry???

i bring my DCs up with my DH and don;t expect anyone else to do so.

surely, we are on mumsnet to learn from and talk to other parents, so we must care !

Get.A.Grip and stop projecting your issues onto everyone else

and I am lulumama, BTW

spina · 16/03/2008 23:26

here.here.
well said. camilla!

there are so many things in this thread i want to shout about,but as was brought up to be a level headed person by my parents i am going to try to read the whole thing and then decide whether to add anything ..or run away.

nooka · 16/03/2008 23:44

Let's try anyone who uses "aloud" instead of "allowed" we don't have to read your posts, shall we?

sic: By NiceTry on Sat 15-Mar-08 13:14:50
And anyone who uses 'of' instead of 'have' I don't even bother to read your posts.

Pot and kettle anyone?

Interesting that all the "he was a druggie" hearsay came to light on a Sunday afternoon - do you work in a very small town NiceTry? Because I wonder how it is that you came up with this interesting information on a Sunday afternoon, but were not privy to it on Thursday night, when presumably after colleague came to talk to you. If I was up for disciplinary action and wanting union help I would make absolutely sure that my rep knew all the details, including how I gave all this background to the CP officer and school nurse who said something along the lines of "oh well, who cares, she's just a tart anyway" which is how it's coming across from your posts. Knowing our child protection team (and I work for the people who provide the training and support) I think it highly unlikely. The guidance is very clear that if in doubt ask for advice. In fact here it is:

What to do if you are worried about a child
You must always report any worries you have about a child.

Your agency should have a person responsible for children?s safeguarding that you can discuss any concerns with. They will pass the information on to children?s services-social care if needed. Make sure you know who the responsible person is for your agency.

If you do not know who the person is, or it is an emergency, contact children?s services duty worker on 020 7525 1921.

If anyone is injured or there is immediate
danger call the emergency services on 999.
If a young person tells you they are being abused
DO
? listen to them carefully
? tell them they have been right to tell you and you will have to tell someone else who can help them
? write down exactly what you remember of the events as soon as possible.
DO NOT
? ask a lot of prompting questions e.g. ?did your Dad give you those bruises?
? tell them you will keep a secret
? tell their parent or carer before you have sought advice from children's services if it may put the child at risk or if the allegation
is one of sexual abuse.

This is from a leaflet produced by Social Care and distributed to all staff in health, education and other public sector agencies that have contact with children. It's based on national guidance and I suspect is what your colleague decided to deviate from.

Re confidentiality the school nurse would have been following that of her employing organisation, which usually says something like this "Children under the age of 16 who have the capacity and understanding to take decisions about their own treatment are also
entitled to make decisions about the use and disclosure of information they have provided in confidence."

For teachers the policy will be something more along these lines "The general rule is that staff should make clear that there are limits to confidentiality, at the beginning of the conversation. These limits relate to ensuring childrens? safety and well being. The pupil will be informed when a confidence has to be broken for this reason and will be encouraged to do this for themselves whenever this is possible."

So long as she said to the child that she would tell her parents before the child told her she needed a pregnancy test then she would be all right on the confidentiality front. Otherwise she should have warned the child and sent her straight to the school nurse before she was told any details. Re the child protection angle, she should have followed the school's policy. If she thought the CP officer wasn't taking her seriously she should have spoken to her Head teacher or social services.

nooka · 16/03/2008 23:45

Oops! Sorry - most of that was quoted, honest!

laundrylover · 17/03/2008 00:16

NiceTry,

The word is 'allowed', not 'aloud' in your question, 'Are Daily Mail readers not aloud to use MN?'.

It is rude to comment on the grammar of other posters hen making such blaring mistakes I think.

I cannot even comment on the OP, the Nazi idea or the 'new and emerging facts'.

Bonkers.

laundrylover · 17/03/2008 00:17

x posts Nooka despite half hour time difference! Long thread to read.....should be in bed!

Mamazon · 17/03/2008 00:31

why are people still entertaining this loon?

she is a seriously deluded and very out of date person.
i even have doubts over whether this story is true, or just a desperate attempt to get attention.

any normal thinking person would realise that when you are the ONLY member of a thread containing hundreds of posters who is defending this action, theywoudl realise their thinking is flawed.

seriously, just leave her to her own odd little world where her parents get a newsletter detailing her sexual activities

seeker · 17/03/2008 00:51

I do think loon is a fab word. I am going to start using it all the time.

StealthPolarBear · 17/03/2008 09:26

More wolliness:

One of your posts:
"Oh and my colleague never promised confidentiality. "

The OP: "The girl had confided in her"

Did she CONFIDE in her or NOT?

Oh and since you picked someone up on have/of, I would like to point out that in your post of Sun 16-Mar-08 22:16:21 you mean "allowed" rather than "aloud"

I know I'm not the first but thought it was worth another mention

right off to "parent" my ds, nursery have sent him home with some almost empty jars to lick out.

hotcrossMonkeybun · 17/03/2008 11:06

Excellent, SPB. I like the notion of wolliness and I know now to shout Godwin's Law when appropriate. But from now on I think we should all screech "Dolly!" anytime someone spouting bollox for argument comes along. (Who was it gets the credit for this?)

hee hee hee

theUrbanDryegg · 17/03/2008 11:09

twas Scottishmum who started the Dolly fetish

duchesse · 17/03/2008 11:10

First teacher's rule of dealing with stuff confided in you my distraught teenagers: Never, EVER promise confidentiality. You simply can't promise. We are TOLD to tell the teenager we can't promise to keep it confidential. To keep confidential things that need dealing with would be to place young people in grave danger.

Geez, do you people have ANY idea how schools work?

theUrbanDryegg · 17/03/2008 11:12

but duchesse - no-one's saying she should have kept it confidential. they're saying she shouldn't've blabbed to the parents off her own back whilst ignoring the advice of the school nurse and CP officer.

Swipe left for the next trending thread