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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Two girls vs One of each

118 replies

Morningcoffeewithcookies · 05/12/2023 10:50

I have seen in many posts recently that Mumsnet people tend to favour having girls instead of boys, which puzzles me given that so many people can't even have children!

I am really curious if this is a trend or if I got it wrong hence the thread!

So, of course health and to have children comes first, but then what about the gender? What would you ideally prefer in a perfect world?

AIBU - Two girls
AINBU - One of each

OP posts:
MaynardGMuskyvote · 05/12/2023 10:52

Two boys.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/12/2023 10:53

Our son is a fantastic 20 year old, was a lovely, caring , very easy second child. He came as a big surprise, nearly nine years after his big sister and was a real blessing.

(Big sis is pretty fabulous, too! A much better mum than I was. Incredibly proud of them. First to admit that she wasn’t an easy child/teen, though)

LadyOfACertainAge · 05/12/2023 10:54

If I could have chosen before having children I probably would have said one of each because there are only two options and I have no preference so why not go one of each.

i have two of the same now, and wouldn’t change anything. They have such different personalities that it might not be much different if they’d been different sexes.

00deed1988 · 05/12/2023 10:55

Neither. Two boys. I love having boys. Everyone always says "Don't you want to try for a girl??" No I don't. If I wanted another baby I would be over the moon with another boy. I can't imagine myself with a girl.

CalistoNoSolo · 05/12/2023 10:56

One girl, which I got and she's been perfect from the moment she was born. Having said that, when I was pregnant I didn't have a preference, I just wanted a healthy baby.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 05/12/2023 10:57

2 small dd's were lovely to have.. 2 teen dd's not so much...

TheBirdintheCave · 05/12/2023 10:58

In a perfect world I'd have one of each. I doubt it will happen though.

People are allowed to have preferences re sex of their children even if they have fertility issues. It also doesn't mean that they won't love whatever combo they end up with.

Devilsmommy · 05/12/2023 10:59

I've only got 1 boy but after seeing my nieces when they were small I always said I'd prefer boy 😁

Goodornot · 05/12/2023 11:01

I'd rather have two boys than 2 girls. Or just one boy.

2 girls would be my nightmare but then I had a traumatic upbringing with a bully of an older sister. In adulthood she still hasn't stopped bullying and belittling me and we are no contact.

DappledThings · 05/12/2023 11:02

I always said if I absolutely had to choose, with a gun to my head, I'd say one of each. DC1 was a boy. When I was pregnant with DC2 I still a little bit wanted a girl and to have one of each and I a little bit wanted a boy to have two boys together but I mostly had no preference at all.

DC2 was a girl. So my only experience is one of each and it's great. But two of each would have been as well.

WingingIt101 · 05/12/2023 11:02

I always thought I wanted one of each but then when my second dc arrived and is our second daughter I was overjoyed.

I do sometimes wonder what a little boy of ours would be like but also know that if we go for number three I'll be just as delighted with a third daughter.

We have lots of gorgeous little boys in our close circle of family and friends though so I get to enjoy aunty status to many of them.

I'm acutely aware of how lucky I am to have two beautiful healthy children and now realise that I just couldn't care less what sex they are.

Carouselfish · 05/12/2023 11:04

Got two girls! Love it. I was an only child to a single mum so used to girls household and was so pleased dd1 was. Dd2 I really didn't mind either way. I would have been sad if I had two boys I admit. I know their character and interests are not to do with their sex but it's more the relating to their experiences I suppose.

PuttingDownRoots · 05/12/2023 11:05

Seeing as you can't actually pick...

I ended up with two girls. I wouldn't change them for anything.
However I had a miscarriage before DD1. I have always felt that baby was a boy. I do feel a bit sad they never had a big brother. Which is silly, because they wouldn't have been born if the first baby had been born...

My DDs are completely different people in terms of temperament, hobbies, personalities, strengths and weaknesses... they aren't just girls.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/12/2023 11:06

I had boy, girl, boy, they are all very different wonderful little people with their own personalities, it's easy for me to say now that I wouldn't mind what sex my children were but I can understand a fleeting disappointment if someone has only one sex of children.
I think it's just a curiosity to see what your sons and daughters would be like.

ALightOverThere · 05/12/2023 11:07

I haven’t voted as I had not the tiniest smidgeon of a preference, which I think is how lots of people feel. I have one of each which is lovely, just as two girls or two boys would have been lovely.

SallyWD · 05/12/2023 11:08

Honestly I genuinely wouldn't mind. Two boys, two girls, one of each - all good.
I do have one if each and really just see them as people. Their sex is irrelevant to me.

HippoStraw · 05/12/2023 11:08

Two of the same, whether boys or girls.

gotomomo · 05/12/2023 11:09

You get what you get! I have 2 girls plus 2 dsd's. I'd love my kids whatever their sec, preferred gender, sexuality etc

Suchardchoccy · 05/12/2023 11:10

I have two DDs, 2 and 9 months. I am currently pregnant with DD no.3. I absolutely love having my girls and I can't wait to have the three of them together. However, I am the carrier of a genetic disorder that only affects boys (symptomatic) it makes them go blind later in life. So we have been extremely lucky to have three girls. HOWEVER, genetic disorder aside I'm not sure. I can't imagine having a boy but if I was pregnant with a boy now, I would just be happy that it was healthy and look forward to experiencing having a little boy ❤️

Ps I do think girls clothes are much cuter from what I've seen of the boys section!

kernowpicklepie · 05/12/2023 11:11

I wanted one of each. When fell pregnant with DC1 I thought they would be a boy but they were a girl.
Then fell pregnant with DC2 and assumed they would be another girl but they were a boy.

I don't have any experience of them into teens or even primary age yet. DD is 2years 4months and DS is 11 months.
They've been very different across their first year so far. I do hope DS doesn't have screaming tantrums like DD does though cause they are quite tough 🤣

RealBigBarbie · 05/12/2023 11:11

People can still have a preference even though there’s people in the world that have fertility issues. It’s life

biscuitcat · 05/12/2023 11:12

Before I got pregnant I wanted girls, as I'm one of three girls and it's what I knew - but I have two boys now and am just chuffed to bits with them. We'd like a third and while I'd be thrilled with any happy, healthy baby, if I got a choice I'd probably go for another boy!

lightelmqueen · 05/12/2023 11:13

I have 3 children: girl, boy, girl. After my son was born people always said 'oh you won't need another child now you have one of each'. I always wanted three children and after years of miscarriages I was happy with children of any sex

My children are all very young but from what I've experienced so far I would say my girls are far more independent than my son but my son is so loving and cuddly. I wouldn't change any of them for the world.

TheBirdintheCave · 05/12/2023 11:15

@Suchardchoccy The baby clothes up to age two are actually alright. A lot of cute jumpers and we'd pick some things from the 'girl' section too that we liked for our son. Lots of bright colours.

Now he's three and has aged out of those and all of a sudden all that's available are drab colours, character tops or really casual clothes. 😫 We have to try really hard to find something a bit brighter and smarter. H&M baby section is lovely and we used to buy everything from there but the older 'boy' section is awful.

Ardith · 05/12/2023 11:15

Two of each would be perfect 😍

I think a lot of the ‘I want a girl’ brigade don’t realise how loving and kind and peaceful a well brought up boy is. I have boys and they’ve been so much easier than all the friendship dramas my mum-of-girl friends have to navigate.