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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a strange way to do Secret Santa?

343 replies

Fancylike · 05/12/2023 10:44

My office has announced a Secret Santa but has set a minimum price of £40. There’s no maximum but you have to spend over £40 on a single gift. I’m new to the company but every SS I’ve done previously had a maximum spend, not a minimum and it’s always been £5-10.

This just seems like a lot of money to spend on coworkers you may not know well (I work in a different department to the name I pulled so have to research them) and also having a minimum doesn’t sit well with me given the disparity in salaries across the office. I’m new so I don’t want to rock the boat by asking if the organiser got mixed up but it’s also been made clear we all need to participate.

OP posts:
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lljkk · 06/12/2023 08:03

What is the lowest monthly salary of anyone enrolled in this SS?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 06/12/2023 08:04

I’d be going to tkmax or home sense and buying something that used to be £40 but is on sale for a lot less.

Original poster
Fancylike · 06/12/2023 08:11

Movies are about £20 per person here so thought 2 tickets could be at least used by the giftee.

OP posts:
Merrymouse · 06/12/2023 08:13

I think the organiser has completely misunderstood the concept.

AnneButNotHathaway · 06/12/2023 08:14

Could it be that £40 is the max amount, not the minimum price?.. Either way, it's absolutely bonkers and I would decline the minute they told me that. You don't need to participate, it's okay to opt out.

How did your collegues react, are they okay with this? Also maybe ask them if it's always been like this because it's insane. We always had £5 as max and there were years where we would exchange cards or smartshow 3d videos instead of gifts. £40 makes no sense.

Raizin · 06/12/2023 08:37

New or not, I'd absolutely be rocking that damn boat and speaking up! That's ridiculous.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2023 08:38

CornishPorsche · 05/12/2023 10:48

Fuck that, not a chance I'd be spending that much. I've spent £42 on my bloody dad!!

Tell them no. Rock the boat.

🤣 I think I’d at least gently ask was 40 a minimum or did they mean maximum. If you have got it wrong ( and there has to be a chance at that level) you’ll have done the wrong thing anyway. Take it from there depending on the response.

scottishGirl · 06/12/2023 08:40

Agree that is not a normal amount to spend on secret Santa. I would definitely ask your colleagues what they think. I hope you don't have to go ahead.

If you feel you have to go ahead, I would buy one of those Christmas donations a lot of charities do. Eg your donation has paid for books for children in a school in X country. I'd print out confirmation and put in an envelope. Or you could spend £30 on that and then buy something small to go with it eg chocolate.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2023 08:41

Fancylike · 06/12/2023 08:11

Movies are about £20 per person here so thought 2 tickets could be at least used by the giftee.

That’s a good suggestion if it does end up being 40.

WHALESURPRISE · 06/12/2023 08:50

The company obviously wants the secret Santa to serve as the Christmas bonus!

justash · 06/12/2023 09:04

maybe you could do a charity gift like a zoo animal adoption or one of those bracelets with the tracker of a wild animal- then they’re still getting a gift but you’re spending the £40 on a charity?

viques · 06/12/2023 09:13

£40 is crazy, the whole point of Secret Santa is that it saves you money! The best one I ever took part in used to choose a theme every year. One year socks, next year mugs, next year gloves etc with a price limit. You had to try to match the themed item to the recipients personality or quirks, which was ( sometimes) fun.

Moveoverdarlin · 06/12/2023 09:15

That’s ridiculous. There should be an opt out option for all staff, so you don’t buy and don’t receive a present.

£40 on someone you know well and have been working with for years is understandable, but for new starters it’s just ridiculous.

LookItsMeAgain · 06/12/2023 09:16

£40 is a lot but you could get them an annual subscription to Which? Magazine (just the magazine as they are doing a 50% off at the moment) and it comes in at £39.50 and it gets posted to them. You could get it posted to their work address or if you happen to know it, their home address.
They will get the pleasure of the magazine for 12 months.

Just a suggestion.

Viviennemary · 06/12/2023 09:18

Just opt out. Say you are a bit hard up this year and can't take part. It's not as if it will be deducted from your wages. I think £10 is more than enough,

DaveWatts · 06/12/2023 09:27

I would have a quiet word with your manager - tell them you're worried about the secret santa because you want to take part and have been told you have to but that you really can't afford a £40 budget. I bet you won't be the only one and that way you're framing it as a worry rather than being difficult or rocking the boat. I think someone higher up needs to take the lead on this and sort it out - especially as it's the first year and hasn't been done before so it's not like you're complaining about an established tradition.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2023 09:36

WHALESURPRISE · 06/12/2023 08:50

The company obviously wants the secret Santa to serve as the Christmas bonus!

😁😁😁

Calliopespa · 06/12/2023 09:37

DaveWatts · 06/12/2023 09:27

I would have a quiet word with your manager - tell them you're worried about the secret santa because you want to take part and have been told you have to but that you really can't afford a £40 budget. I bet you won't be the only one and that way you're framing it as a worry rather than being difficult or rocking the boat. I think someone higher up needs to take the lead on this and sort it out - especially as it's the first year and hasn't been done before so it's not like you're complaining about an established tradition.

Yup. Perfect.

KeepSmiling89 · 06/12/2023 09:37

Suddenly my struggle to find a secret santa gift under £5 doesn't seem so bad...

£40 is ridiculous!

janfebmarchapril · 06/12/2023 10:19

LookItsMeAgain · 06/12/2023 09:16

£40 is a lot but you could get them an annual subscription to Which? Magazine (just the magazine as they are doing a 50% off at the moment) and it comes in at £39.50 and it gets posted to them. You could get it posted to their work address or if you happen to know it, their home address.
They will get the pleasure of the magazine for 12 months.

Just a suggestion.

I would absolutely hate this. This is the thing something that is great for one person isn't for another which is why SS should always be a Low amount. I'd absolutely not be doing this. £40!!

Floralie222 · 06/12/2023 10:42

Are you sure it's not a typo?! 4 pounds seems more in line with my office secret santas.

I've never heard of such a high spend and I've worked in a huge range of offices in multiple countries. The biggest firm I ever worked for, when I left after 3 years I was given 60 pounds and the collection envelope had gone to over 300 people because I'd worked in almost every department. I then worked somewhere for 6 months, and a team of about 10 people also gave me a 60 pounds voucher. I didn't expect anything either time, but the disparity did make me smile.

I once worked in an office that did birthday collections of 5 pounds a head, but as the team grew this was reduced to 2 pounds.

40 pounds per person for a secret Santa is unbelievable!! The money could go towards a Christmas party or charity or a lot of other things. I wouldn't have a clue where to start. Find something in the sale/Groupon or Wowcher and go with the full price being 40 pounds.

treacletoffee23 · 06/12/2023 11:10

Go to Boots - great 3 for 2 offers at around £10 each
£40 is absolutely ridiculous- is there any way to let HR know anonymously that it’s causing unnecessary stress?

MrsSunshine2b · 06/12/2023 11:14

Have they forgotten there's a cost of living crisis? I don't spend £40 on anyone other than my kids. I also think Secret Santa is horrendously wasteful as you are just buying for the sake of it- the recipient rarely actually wants it. They can't make you take part. Just say you have a religious objection.

Minime88888888 · 06/12/2023 11:18

100% Mental.

OVienna · 06/12/2023 11:23

I have never heard of an HR person dictating to the business like this. £40 each for your immediate team members who are all in high paid London roles - maybe. Otherwise, nah. All very odd.