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Original poster

To think this is a strange way to do Secret Santa?

343 replies

Fancylike · 05/12/2023 10:44

My office has announced a Secret Santa but has set a minimum price of £40. There’s no maximum but you have to spend over £40 on a single gift. I’m new to the company but every SS I’ve done previously had a maximum spend, not a minimum and it’s always been £5-10.

This just seems like a lot of money to spend on coworkers you may not know well (I work in a different department to the name I pulled so have to research them) and also having a minimum doesn’t sit well with me given the disparity in salaries across the office. I’m new so I don’t want to rock the boat by asking if the organiser got mixed up but it’s also been made clear we all need to participate.

OP posts:
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Crazygranny · 06/12/2023 12:02

We spend a maximum £10, we do a goodie bag of small items (hand cream, chocolate, lip salve etc) from pound shops and stuff, and everyone just choses a bag, we are a small team of women which does make it easier.

PineapplePomPom · 06/12/2023 12:04

Never mind making it through your probation, I'd be seriously considering looking for a job elsewhere after Christmas. Who would want to work for a company that does this? What next, a compulsory 'teambuilding' hike up Everest in the name of good ole Charidee (with a £3k donation for the privilege) A bit extreme, I know but as we've seen here before, this shit happens!

Kezzy16 · 06/12/2023 12:22

I must admit I love doing secret Santa more so if it’s funny/quirky gifts or things ppl actually like but no way would I spend £40 on someone. It must be a high earning job for that

Hollbeach · 06/12/2023 12:46

I don't participate in stuff like this regardless of how much it rocks the boat. There's no way it can be mandatory. Yes it might feel awkward to say 'sorry I can't do that this year' but there is a cost of living crisis and really if you are on minimum wage that is like half a days pay.
Personally my family are low spenders at Xmas and we don't even spend that on each other so no way would I be spending it on someone else.

I think secret Santa is a waste of time most of the time and id rather not get involved and have no qualms with telling people so 🤷‍♀️

Billybob10 · 06/12/2023 12:54

I feel a “friends” moment.. stick a envelope in with a note in that says “a donation has been made on your behalf” or just tell them your a Jehovah’s Witness they will never bother you again.

qotsa · 06/12/2023 13:02

strawberry2017 · 05/12/2023 11:07

I would not be spending £40 on a work colleague. I would be declining to take part.

Yep. And me. Ridiculous. I worked in the same team who became my friends for 17 years and would not have spent that on them even.

Stressedoutmammy · 06/12/2023 14:44

As others have said, I would go with £40 RRP, it’s way too much. Search on somewhere like ASOS where you can filter by discount, example.

To think this is a strange way to do Secret Santa?
hunderground · 06/12/2023 16:04

I hated SS when I worked in an office, one year I really worked to get a particularly funny and apt gift (I thought) for a colleague who just opened it and shrugged it off. The next year i didn't bother and just shoved in some spare hand cream and then heard the person was really upset they'd received a generic gift (it was nice hand cream!) Also reminds me of dc in primary school where a banker's wife insisted we all pay somethign like £100 a year for teachers' presents - for older dc it had been £10. I protested and was told, 'The poor teachers don't earn anything.' Yes, they didn't earn as much as a banker but most earned a lot more than me at that point! when I was PT!

NellFJ · 06/12/2023 16:23

Can you donate to a charity (your choice of sum) and say the round robin gift is the donation to a charity close to the recipient's heart? Your research about them might give you a clue...

suwatts · 06/12/2023 16:35

The best secret Santa I have ever been part of stipulated maximum £5 and had to come from a charity shop. It was such a laugh.

Hayliebells · 06/12/2023 16:36

What's your relationship with other more senior people in your department like? I'd have an honest conversation with them that you just can't afford this, and ask them to speak to HR. It has no bearing on your job whatsoever, so it really shouldn't impact on your probation. HR aren't your superiors, if the senior people who work in your department think it shouldn't happen as this HR person has mandated, then it should be changed. And it definitely shouldn't be compulsory.

RampantIvy · 06/12/2023 16:43

Chickenpoxhelp · 06/12/2023 06:54

Please come back and tell us what gift you received. Every time I’ve done SS I’ve carefully planned my £5/£10 to get something useful/nice/appropriate. In return I’ve had utter shit. Bnm £3 lipgloss set, £5 Aldi wine (when it was £10). I’d be fuming if that happened and I’d spent £40!

I think I can outdo that for a shit present. One year the giver didn't know what to buy, so I receved £5 worth of lottery tickets. I won £1, which would have cost more in petrol to drive to the shop to claim, so I didn't bother.

NannaKaren · 06/12/2023 17:43

Madness ! tell them I’m sure others will be relieved or don’t participate !

MagicFarawayTea · 06/12/2023 17:44

£40?? Wtf? It should be £5 tops. The most fun I had was when we had to buy the most ridiculous festive inspired thing for £5. Lots of laughs .

CleaningAngel · 06/12/2023 17:47

Absolutely stupid , ours is £10 I have gone over a bit. I don't spend £40 on anyone!!

Times are hard for everyone at the moment
Wtf set that amount ?

IncreasinglyGrumpy · 06/12/2023 17:54

That is obscene ! Are you sure they didn't mean to put maximum, even so that's so much money and the point of Secret Santa is its a token gesture i thought. Hubby did one at a school he worked at and it was a £1 (good old Poundland) and it was just as much fun. Crazy

MarvellousMonsters · 06/12/2023 17:58

bryceQ · 05/12/2023 10:46

Wow that's bizarre it's normally max £20

Max £10 in my work. £40 is insane.

Tiree1965 · 06/12/2023 18:03

That’s an enormous amount. We do £5 gift and £5 charity donation which is more than enough.

ThinWomansBrain · 06/12/2023 18:08

£40 minimum is outrageous - as is saying it isn't optional

Donate to a charity in the person's name, but them an oxfam goat or something

Robbee · 06/12/2023 18:21

Outrageous - I really hope they are paying you enough for this money to be peanuts to you.
it doesn't bode well for the kind of attitudes/people/company you'll be working with/for in the future.
Personally I'd opt out, even if it is expected, return the one that you get and ask for it to be given to your recipient and if it goes down badly with repercussions be seriously looking for better employment elsewhere. There's a serious risk of damage to your mental health in the long run, working with people who are not empathetic to all others and their circumstances

ilovechocolate07 · 06/12/2023 18:30

What the hell!!! We're moderate income and nephews and nieces only have bit more than that spent on them. I'd definitely be sitting that one out. Who wants to risk wasting £40 on something someone dislikes or receiving. The stakes are higher with higher value.

1mabon · 06/12/2023 18:33

Ridiculous.

Fabulousdahlink · 06/12/2023 18:45

I'd go to the organiser and say you didnt realise the minimum spend was £40. You'd like to withdraw and will make a donation to the companies chosen charity instead.

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 18:46

That’s utterly crazy. SS is getting out of hand

Have you confided in anyone?

are you sure it’s not £40 guideline?

has your person posted a wish list?

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 18:47

Suggest a bottle of wine/ chocolates and a donation to crisis in their name

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