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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a strange way to do Secret Santa?

343 replies

Fancylike · 05/12/2023 10:44

My office has announced a Secret Santa but has set a minimum price of £40. There’s no maximum but you have to spend over £40 on a single gift. I’m new to the company but every SS I’ve done previously had a maximum spend, not a minimum and it’s always been £5-10.

This just seems like a lot of money to spend on coworkers you may not know well (I work in a different department to the name I pulled so have to research them) and also having a minimum doesn’t sit well with me given the disparity in salaries across the office. I’m new so I don’t want to rock the boat by asking if the organiser got mixed up but it’s also been made clear we all need to participate.

OP posts:
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Mumof2withSEN · 05/12/2023 20:07

That’s horrific! I’d not be complying with the £40 rule.

im new to my job also so im still in the yes sir phase! However not for £40, it’s not up to anyone to dictate how much you spend. We are doing it at my work but it’s maximum of £5. I’ve been to the pound shop and bought 5 items. They get what they get. It normally gets chucked in the bin or the nearest charity bin anyway!

id definitely go and speak to both HR for the record. And the organisers, make it clear you are not spending that kind of money on someone you don’t know, and probably wouldn’t even know their name if it wasn’t for this.

you can either spend £40 on shite and feel annoyed with yourself for giving in. Or buy what you want, bottle of wine, chocs!

or as others have said, which I think is a great idea. Put it in a charity pot and just put it in the card they have given a Xmas dinner to the homeless.!

but don’t feel pressured and don’t spend that money if you can’t afford it!

AllTheChaos · 05/12/2023 20:13

ShoesoftheWorld · 05/12/2023 16:30

You need the German tradition of Schrottwichteln. Everyone wraps up something they have at home and don't want - the tackier or crappier, the better (Schrott = rubbish) and then at the Christmas do, you swap them, Pass the Parcel-style or by putting them all in the middle of the table and each person draws one out. It's a good laugh, nobody spends anything and, very occasionally, one person's rubbish turns out to be just what someone else wanted.

Edited

A friend of mine used to do this and it was brilliant!

Booboocars · 05/12/2023 20:28

This reply has been deleted

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Halfacnut · 05/12/2023 20:39

It's all very well suggesting that people donate £40 to the homeless - but you can only afford to be charitable if you're already well off.

I'd go with the 'buy something reduced/at TK Max'. Or buy a tenner's worth of wine and chocolate. Who is actually going to stand up and say "Oi, Fancylike, there's no way this cost £40". Unless they want to look like a monstrous twat.

noooooooo · 05/12/2023 20:39

It’s secret! How will they know! Buy whatever you like, fuck them, that’s madness! Plausible deniability, you ‘thought’ it was £40 max.

momonpurpose · 05/12/2023 20:39

TokyoSushi · 05/12/2023 10:48

£40!! Unless you're lawyers in Central London or similar, that's ridiculous!

Exactly. We do one just 5 of us co workers who are very close friends in and out of work. Our limit is 25 dollars and a pound store koke gift. 40 dollars is ridiculous.

McrWife · 05/12/2023 20:39

Make a £40 donation in their name to a local charity and then leave the company.

Do a shit in the HR office before you go.

Thedm · 05/12/2023 20:41

If it’s the HR person organising it then send a note to her as well as whichever manager would be appropriate. Honestly, so not just a it back and accept that you need to do this.

LowLevelGrumpMostly · 05/12/2023 20:50

Fancylike · 05/12/2023 19:49

I was thinking about asking around my team if they also think the minimum could be lowered. It’s the HR person organising it but I feel like they are confused about how it should go. Ie having a spend limit. We are not in a well paid industry at all but maybe HR is better salary wise!

I can afford this still as I live quite thrifty but it’s more the principle of it. Like others said I’m not spending that much on family members and would spend a bit of time thinking over spending 40 quid on myself for new jeans or similar.

TKMaxx website… something like this https://www.tkmaxx.com/uk/en/home/hobbies+leisure/luggage+travel-accessories/travel-bags/black-pheonix-rolltop-backpack/p/34122898 or a belt just search for the wow discounts and set a limit of £20 and search home and men’s

sargeantskone · 05/12/2023 20:54

Absolutely not a flaming chance in hell!
whoever started that budget needs to give their head a shake! Just because people are on a decent salary (to them) doesn’t mean they have money to burn, I each a decent wage but all of it barely now covers my bills let alone bloody secret Santa ffs!!!

mumda · 05/12/2023 21:05

Opt out. Publicly.

UniversalAunt · 05/12/2023 21:09

If your arm is twisted over a probationer’s barrel, then make a £40 donation to Crisis at Christmas. Claim any Giftaid options so the money goes even further.

At the very least, someone in absolute need gets direct help.

RampantIvy · 05/12/2023 21:12

Maybe a couple of movie ticket vouchers?

How much is the cinema where you live?
Vue is £4.99 and our local cinema is £6.50

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 05/12/2023 21:48

I think it’s time to make a point. That’s appalling. Even if you have to identify yourself at the point of the gift giving I would make a charitable donation. An Oxfam chicken, the Red Cross, UNICEF whatever you prefer. . No one ever got fired for a charity donation!

tommika · 05/12/2023 21:50

As an alternative spin on the charity option, a couple of years ago I gave out a few vouchers for this:

https://lendwithcare.org/search?activity=&gender=&location=&page=1&q=&sort=least&status=fundable

Deposit an amount and create vouchers. Then the recipient can browse and choose someone’s business plan. Rather than just a charity donation it’s treated as an investment loan, if they make a success then it gets paid back and can be reinvested to another.

Microfinance from CARE International UK

CARE International's microfinance lending initiative

https://lendwithcare.org/search?activity=&gender=&location=&page=1&q=&sort=least&status=fundable

SliceOfBread · 05/12/2023 21:57

I used to work in retail in a specialist shop straight out of uni.

I remember someone coming in and spending £50 on an item we sold - she said it was for her work Secret Santa at a law firm and there was a minimum on £50… She worked for a law firm as a receptionist (I think, it was some years ago now) and it was decreed by the partners who could easily afford it, and as she’s drawn one of the hat felt obliged to spend the minimum - whereas when the non-partners drew each other they just got token gifts to each other.

Kwasi · 05/12/2023 22:12

What the actual fuck? Are you sure it’s not a minimum of £4?

I don’t even spend that on my husband. If I had to spend £40 on a colleague, that money would literally mean £40 less spent on DC.

Casperroonie · 05/12/2023 22:26

Fancylike · 05/12/2023 19:51

Also charity shops is a nice idea but not an option where I live without a day trip.
i think as a man it’s also more difficult. Maybe a couple of movie ticket vouchers?

You wont get sacked if you dont participate. Just say you don't have that amount of money!!! Asking for that amount of money is offensive actually, waaay too much, what a waste. All that money for a crappy gift that'll probably go in the bin.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/12/2023 22:31

Fucking hell!

Our SS limit is max £50 and that's for family! I would absolutely decline to take part and would take it further if pressed. I will not spend £40 on a person I don't know well and don't care to know well. These are colleagues.

Sjh15 · 05/12/2023 22:37

Vinted!!!!!!!!!
buy something worth £40, for a fraction of the price. You can even select ‘new with tags’ for less than half the price. I get a lot of presents that way, I’m not even ashamed. I have a mortgage and a child to feed

FastBlueHedgehog · 05/12/2023 22:40

My work secret Santa we have to give something we already own or we have made. It's opt in only as well so if you don't want to take part you don't. People mostly pass on books they've loved, house plants or cakes. It's lovely.

Wheelz46 · 05/12/2023 22:55

@Smellslikesummer Honestly if something as petty as not joining in on a secret santa tainted office relationships and made people annoyed, it's not a place I would want to work anyway.

I am not new to my company but new to my department and colleagues and I haven't included myself in secret santa and nobody seems annoyed with me, unless they are talking about me behind me back but I predominantly work from home so they can crack on 😆 on a serious note, I really don't think they care either way and besides I am doing them a favour, I am a nightmare to buy for 😂

Chicheguevara · 05/12/2023 23:27

That would be a firm no from me.
One of the reasons that I liked working from home, is that the secret santa was tricky for us all.
The last big company that I worked for, had a Christmas tree with tags on. You took a tag and bought a gift and tied that gift to the tag. We didn’t even have to wrap as that was done by the charity involved.

Pokinganose · 06/12/2023 00:01

How can it be compulsory??!!! So is it in your contract that you have to? Fuck that I'd be refusing. Dont they realise there's col crisis? I thought a tenner at our place for a crock of shit was bad but this is ridiculous. I declined to take part and a few others followed. I'd stand my ground. They can't sack you for it.

Wetblanket78 · 06/12/2023 01:17

Can you not just get them an Amazon voucher?

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