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Original poster

To want DSIL's cat locked in room away from DC

438 replies

onesleepyma · 03/12/2023 21:16

My DSIL has no kids but she does have a cat, who is her absolute world. Because the cat is a rescue he can't be locked in a room due to his previous trauma (I think?) so always needs to be roaming free in the house. The cat also, from the times I've visited, seems quite reluctant to be touched, can hiss if you come too near. Quite an unfriendly cat. Also a very fluffy cat.

For Xmas we are all going to my ILs house, me, my 2 DC, DH, DSIL and the cat. My kids are 11 months and 2.5. DC1 isn't always going to listen to instructions like "don't touch the cat" or "don't come near the cat" and DC2 is newly walking, leans on furniture when walking so there's a HIGH chance that one of the DCs will be hissed at or worse scratched by this cat. The only way to avoid it is to be 24/7 watching, not sit down for a minute for me and DH. DSIL says leaving him at home isnt an option because " the cat to her is what my DC are to me" (her words). locking him in a room, even for just xmas dinner so i can eat, is "cruel". The parents wont address it because DSIL is sad that shes single and this kitten is making her happy so they dont want to disturb that.

we are there for 2 full days, 3 nights. DH wont address it for similar reasons that PIL wont.

OP posts:
stepintochristmas1 · 04/12/2023 18:19

Oh right just seen your latest update . You really wouldn't care your SIL would be upset as you would find her missing cat funny . I hope SIL gets another cat to annoy you .

Butterflywings84 · 04/12/2023 18:21

Clearly a lot of cat lovers on here! I am terrified of most animals (I wish it wasn’t the case but it is). I’m also allergic to fur which is a separate issue. I know I am no good with animals and so struggle massively when my own children are around them. This would be my idea of hell having to spend a few days in a house with a hissy cat especially with the kids. I’m not sure you can change the situation as it’s up to the PIL what they allow in the house (although who even brings cats with them?!!) but I would definitely be putting hubby on duty.

HerMammy · 04/12/2023 18:25

Now that I see she is bringing the cat, that is a bit daft, cat will happier at home.

Lilibert456 · 04/12/2023 18:29

AlltheFs · 03/12/2023 21:26

Your kids won’t die from being hissed at or scratched. The cat will likely hide from you all. But you are being absolutely ridiculous to think someone should lock their pet away. Get a bloody grip woman. Your kids need to learn how to behave around animals.

My DD learnt very quickly what is ok and what isn’t.

This

stepintochristmas1 · 04/12/2023 18:29

Butterflywings84 · 04/12/2023 18:21

Clearly a lot of cat lovers on here! I am terrified of most animals (I wish it wasn’t the case but it is). I’m also allergic to fur which is a separate issue. I know I am no good with animals and so struggle massively when my own children are around them. This would be my idea of hell having to spend a few days in a house with a hissy cat especially with the kids. I’m not sure you can change the situation as it’s up to the PIL what they allow in the house (although who even brings cats with them?!!) but I would definitely be putting hubby on duty.

Not really I'm not really into cats , dogs are more my thing , but it's clear op has some issue with her SIL . What with her being single and childless and all .

HerRoyalHeinzness · 04/12/2023 18:30

I wonder if SIL has ever successfully loaded the cat into a cat carrier.

milkywinterdisorder · 04/12/2023 18:40

When my kids were that age I used to make sure I was always at arm’s length from them at my PIL’s too, to the extent that sometimes I never got to eat - but that was to make sure they didn’t break any antiques. I might have been more sympathetic to a troubled cat!

But I agree your SIL is being totally unfair on the cat - surely it would be much happier in its own home?

SwishSwishBisch · 04/12/2023 18:41

Wow, ok OP. Having read your last post about her cat going missing being your dream scenario it seems clear that actually you’re just a plain old garden variety arsehole who for some reason seems to really dislike your SIL.

Perhaps you need to sit and have a little think about that instead of spending so much time worrying about fictional scenarios??

Goldenpashmina · 04/12/2023 18:42

Just parent your kids

Duckmylife · 04/12/2023 18:44

OP, didn't you say that the cat can't be locked in a room due to trauma issues? I think you probably have your answer- if it can't then obviously there's nothing that can be done about it. I know it's annoying and I understand that the cat is quite vicious, but there must be a way that's fair for everyone (and every cat)? Could you suggest the cat is allowed free roam outside of the room you are in, as pp said? Then the cat doesn't have to be locked up, but there's no risk of anything happening between it and your DC.

Brefugee · 04/12/2023 18:45

stay somewhere else (see also the thread about the boxer dog)

cansu · 04/12/2023 18:46

Just watch your kids. Chances are cat will remove itself from noisy room.

Fionaville · 04/12/2023 18:47

My sil has 2 cats that are only a step away from being completely feral. They roam her house freely but don't even like to be touched by her. If you happen to make eye contact with one, it hisses at you. I've had the same concerns when my DCs were younger and we'd stay there. But to be honest, it's never been a problem because they just run away if anybody happens to get near them.
Has your SILs cat shown aggression? It'll probably make itself scarce anyway. I would definitely tell your eldest to stay away from the cat. A 2.5 year old can understand that much.

Duckmylife · 04/12/2023 18:48

Just read the recent comments. I understand that you don't like the cat at all, but clearly it means a lot to your sister in law, and vice versa, otherwise the cat probably wouldn't stick around. It doesn't sound very nice of you to wish the cat to run away, and not even help to search for it.

Autumn1990 · 04/12/2023 18:51

if the cat isn’t used to going to your pil, it’s going to be upset moving house for a couple of days

Ee1498 · 04/12/2023 18:52

You could leave your kids with a friend or relative and go without them. Think that's harsh? That's basically what you have asked your DSIL to do ("DSIL says leaving him at home isnt an option").
You may not understand or agree with how she sees/treats her cats (it is her baby), but you could respect it.
The cat won't want anything to do with the kids, they generally don't like young children. So you actually have very little to worry about there. Also from what you've said the cat has picked up on the fact that you're not a cat person and I'm sure he'll avoid you yoo.

Meowandthen · 04/12/2023 18:56

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Autumnleavesarefallingdownagain · 04/12/2023 18:58

The cat is going to spend 3 days hiding under a bed. Cats are scared of small children and in my experience hide away from them even in their own home, let alone the poor cat already being traumatised by being in a strange house. I don’t think you’ll see it for dust tbh

Americano75 · 04/12/2023 19:25

If she really won't leave the cat at home then she needs to watch her cat. If she genuinely believes her cat = a child then she needs to treat it like you treat your children ie be responsible for it.

Original poster
onesleepyma · 04/12/2023 19:31

Ee1498 · 04/12/2023 18:52

You could leave your kids with a friend or relative and go without them. Think that's harsh? That's basically what you have asked your DSIL to do ("DSIL says leaving him at home isnt an option").
You may not understand or agree with how she sees/treats her cats (it is her baby), but you could respect it.
The cat won't want anything to do with the kids, they generally don't like young children. So you actually have very little to worry about there. Also from what you've said the cat has picked up on the fact that you're not a cat person and I'm sure he'll avoid you yoo.

Children and cats aren't really comparable

OP posts:
Ladybughello · 04/12/2023 19:37

onesleepyma · 04/12/2023 19:31

Children and cats aren't really comparable

Show quote history

Nonsense

nopeasplease · 04/12/2023 19:39

That would be the dream!
My DCs and I will go off to "look for the cat" on our own I think, perhaps at a playground 😂
*
You sound dreadful.*

MrsBrett20 · 04/12/2023 19:49

I have a cat who isn't a fan of people. She just doesn't go near them. We got her because after trying for 5 years, we still didn't have a baby. Unless you've desperately wanted a child and it hasn't happened (for whatever reason) you will never understand. My cat was, and still is, my baby. We did end up having a baby in 2021, but my cat is still a part of our lives as she saved me. Christmas is also the hardest time of year for some people.

The cat will probably curl up in a corner somewhere and not bother anyone

mrshenny · 04/12/2023 19:51

That poor cat being dragged about like a human. Chances are high that it won't come out anyway. When we moved house our cats stayed in 1 room for aaaaaaaaaages as they were very anxious of the new enviroment.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 04/12/2023 19:52

nopeasplease · 04/12/2023 19:39

That would be the dream!
My DCs and I will go off to "look for the cat" on our own I think, perhaps at a playground 😂
*
You sound dreadful.*

Yes, but if the OP & her DCs just went to a playground & stayed there, that would solve the problem of keeping them away from the cat.