If you do 'attachment parenting'/BLW will you really let your child breastfeed until any age they do?

[porridgeisbae]

I just started watching this Dr. Phil episode.

If you do 'baby led weaning' or similar, would you really let your child breastfeed or suck on your boob to whatever age they want? Or would you have a cut off point really even if the child wanted to carry it on?

I'm aware that in other cultures they often breastfeed until an older age than we do.

*any age they want to

I did. DC2 was older than that child when he self weaned. The boy on that clip is not even 4!

The thing is when you do it, it's not like you go from nursing a newborn to a school going child. Even after feeding DC1 to 18 months, when I started again, anything over 3 felt weird to me, theb when we got to there, it was just ... normal, but a school aged child seemed weird. A year later he started reception and again - it was normal. And we only did mornings/bedtimes and from about 3.5 I think just bedtime (plus naptimes if he was ill).

I’m in a large online attachment parenting group, many will wean dc off the breast when the mum has got to a point where she had enough for whatever reason.
Of course others will feed until their dc self wean, I know quite a few extended breast feeders, most seem to stop around 3 or 4 be it naturally or with gentle encouragement but someone I know in real life breastfeed until their dc was 7. Now they are all older and you wouldn’t know the difference.

Beyond a year is just weird imo - especially in this day and age.

But people are free to do as they please.

I plan to let DD nurse until she wants to stop, unless of course I get to a point where its not working for me anymore.

I bf DD2 until she stopped at 5 and half years.

I wanted to bf for physical health reasons but I cannot say it made much difference in that regard. I did manage to reduce her food allergies (11 separate allergens at 12 months) to just peanuts over those years by introducing the food through the breast milk.

The benefits to her mental health seem far more long lasting though.

A year!? (I say as I'm nursing my 22 months old to sleep!) I could understand 3 or 4, perhaps, but I find it weird that anyone would find a child under 2 being breastfed, weird. They are infants.

Dd was around 1yo when she self weaned. I do think that a lot of women keep bfing for themselves rather than their child but that's an unpopular opinion.

I let my children decide, we had 22 months (I was heavily pregnant and I don't think they liked my milk changing), 4 years and 3 years. No issues, they've all turned out sociable, confident, happy people. Rolling my eyes at controversial parenting though

I nursed all of mine till they were toddlers.
One was nearly five.

I didn't do BLW though because it hadn't been invented. Neither had attachment parenting become a thing.

Yes I'm pretty old.

@Makkacakka

An infant is up to 12 months. After that it's a toddler.
In some countries in Europe it's defined as up to 6 months.

I don't follow attachment parenting as a whole thing but DD continued to breastfeed until she was ready to stop. She stopped completely a few months ago at 4yrs 8m.

I hadn't planned on it and when I started I'd assumed 1-2yrs but once we were going it felt weird to force this little one to stop for no reason other than because it's more usual in our society when she was getting so much benefit from continuing.

Why "in this day and age"? What makes it especially weird now?

Yep, fed dd2 until 6yo. She's 8 now and be bizarrely has no memory of it.

If course it was once a day at bedtime and I told no one but DH because of how it's viewed.

I'm EBF my 14 week old now and plan on natural term bf for him too.

I don't follow that but we did self wean. I won't say what age as too many judgemental people

Says someone who has never breastfed a toddler. It's really not fun 🤣

Incidentally I never understood why women can't be seen to breastfeed for reasons that benefit themselves. I was happy to do extended breastfeeding as it reduces the risk of breast and ovarian cancer, my mum died from one of those cancers at a very young age so I was more then happy to breastfeed over 12 months. Obviously if my child wanted to stop I would but happy to receive that benefit.

People do what works. There isn’t a day when you suddenly think they are too old.

One of mine self weaned at about a year, I weaned the other at about 2 because I thought he was reacting to dairy in my milk. Turned out it was salmonella, but hey ho.

Generally they get enough solids and excitement out of the house to only want to breast feed at home- bedtime and morning.

Rolling my eyes at controversial parenting though

@TrixieFatell It isn't the norm. But it's not as bad as when, years ago, I watched a documentary where the parents deliberately didn't let their kids wear nappies- they let their child poo on the floor and tried to become aware of when they were going to go. 'Elimination communication.'

My DC (1yr) has to take medication everyday. I will continue to bf until they self wean as it's the best thing for their gut health while they are taking meds. Also definitely disagree with extended bf being for the mother - it's impossible to continue without both parties wanting to!

I nursed all of mine till they were toddlers. One was nearly five. I didn't do BLW though because it hadn't been invented. Neither had attachment parenting become a thing.

Well it's kind of baby-led if you let them decide when they stopped, it's just a matter of what you call it. I wasn't sure what words to use.

It's not controversial though, unusual maybe but not controversial.

It's also probably not as unusual as people think (though not the norm in our society).People don't tend to talk about breastfeeding 3 or 4 years olds because of reactions. When I had my 2 year check they didn't check if I was breastfeeding, just assumed so I imagine there's some under reporting going on.

I do think that a lot of women keep bfing for themselves rather than their child but that's an unpopular opinion.

I never understand this point - do you think children can be forced to feed or something?

I stopped with my daughter at 15 months which was my decision although she must have been fairly ready as it was quite easy. We generally follow attachment parenting, eg cosleeping etc.
I'm BF another now and would probably aim for a similar time (at least 1 year old so I don't have to bother with sterilising /formula etc)

As for elimination communication we sort of did that too! Although she still wore a nappy I "caught" most poos and some wees on the potty as I could see when she was ready to go. We used cloth nappies so it saved some washing.

A lot of people would understand baby led weaning to mean something totally different

I never understood this either. What’s the implication of a woman doing it ‘for herself’. What’s she meant to be getting out of it?