If you do 'attachment parenting'/BLW will you really let your child breastfeed until any age they do?

[porridgeisbae]

I just started watching this Dr. Phil episode.

If you do 'baby led weaning' or similar, would you really let your child breastfeed or suck on your boob to whatever age they want? Or would you have a cut off point really even if the child wanted to carry it on?

I'm aware that in other cultures they often breastfeed until an older age than we do.

Babe in arms stage. This place is hilarious. God only knows how my children have functioned as well as they have with me trying to keep them as babes in arms. I should have just carried on, I have no identity anymore. Sad times.

My son self-weaned at 3.5, although I think that was influenced by my milk changing due to pregnancy. To the people who think women are breastfeeding ‘for themselves’, do you think they’re literally force feeding their children? What’s the thought process behind this claim?

Gosh I’m really surprised by this. This week I have just stopped breastfeeding my 14 month old and it never occurred to me that I was being weird!

Judgemental fuckers.

Everyone can absolutely feel free to not breastfeed after a year, but you can get to fuck calling it weird. There's nothing weird about following health guidance.

I stopped with my first at 4 1/2 months as my milk dried up. With my second, I stopped at 9 months because I needed to return to work and my daughter refused to take bottles up to that point. I wanted bodily autonomy back and wouldn't have breast fed a one year old. Each to their own but, personally, once they're weaned my job is done.

'Suck on your boob'? 🙄

My youngest was past 3 when she finally stopped, she was nursing maybe once every other day by that point. BF a toddler is not the same as BF a baby.

What do women gain from it?

Yes!

DD naturally self-weaned at 2y2m, a month before DS was born. She said the milk didn't taste nice anymore. Presumably because it was gearing up for DS being born.

I really do wonder how people imagine others force their 2/3/4yo to breastfeed and why they would want to! Sit there with their top up and insist? Or bribe them? In reality most bf toddlers are probably asking but even if it is offered, that doesn't mean it is for mum's benefit.

I fed DC1 until 3. DC2 is still feeding a few times a week at 4.5. I only carry on because he wants to. I would have preferred him to have stopped a year ago but am willing to continue because he wants to and it's not a big deal for me.

FWIW I went back to work when he was 9m, have evenings out etc.

Not my experience in the slightest (fed till nearing 3).

Is this something you’ve read somewhere or something you’ve concluded on your own?

Wow. OK, infant, baby, toddler, young child, small human, little person. Whatever you want to call them. I wasn't using the term 'infant' to mean any particular age.

But Google did say this, for what it's worth. The term infant is typically applied to very young children under one year of age; however, definitions may vary and may include children up to two years of age.

I assume they mean, in an age where there is formula milk you have to pay for easily available and we live in a capitalist society.
I would never have anticipates feeding as long as I did, but I was led by my dc not by me.

Yes to breastfeeding. (No to just sucking on boob )

WHO recommends to bf to age 2 as a minimum

Mine were 2.9 & 2.5 and they chose when to stop. I did 'don't offer, don't refuse' after about 18 months

I have had friends whose babies self weaned before 2 though

I think 2 would be my absolute limit. It feels weird to me after that. Though to be fair I would likely stop earlier than that when they start getting teeth.

I can answer that as I've just finished breastfeeding my napping nearly-2 year old.
Bite marks from where his teeth were digging in. Boy, it was uncomfortable, but I wanted him to nap as long as he needed (he wakes if I stop it most of the time).

Yep, doing it for myself, not for him...🤔

A lot of us don't plan to breastfeed for as long as we do.

I planned to mix feed my second for maybe 3 months before moving on to formula. Baby refused bottles from birth. At first I said I'd let her get to 6m, as I didnt fancy breastfeeding an older baby. Then she got to 6m and it didnt seem weird any more, but feeding over a year was still WEIRD to me. Then she got to a year and it still seemed natural so I continued. I definitely didn't want yo be one of those mums of a breastfeed toddler though.... Until of course I was. She self weaned at 2y 8m but by that point I was resigned to letting her feed as long as she wanted. I couldn't honestly see myself feeding a school aged child, that still seems really old to me, but equally if she were still goong it would probably have felt natural still.

I also didnt intend to bedshare, babywear until school age etc. Guess how those turned out 😂 Sometimes you'd parent differently from how you thought you would!

Don't forget the enjoyment of your toddler deciding they want to watch TV so whip their heads round really fast without unlatching (see also deciding to walk off without unlatching and biting when they are teething). Precious times

I weaned at 4. After about 2 it was only nap-time, bed-time, illness or injury. After 3 only bed-time or illness. Then we read a book "my milk will go, our love will grow" and had a chat, and he gradually gave up over the next few weeks. I was ready to finish, but he would have liked to continue; I didn't trust by then that he wouldn't keep going to age 7 so had to push the point. I felt awful when he got covid a few months later and I couldn't help, but he was better after a day so clearly robust enough.

When he was a baby, I wouldn't have expected to feed so long and didn't know anyone who did. By the time we got there, there were multiple mothers I knew who stopped around then or a bit later. At least 8 from his nursery class, 3 other friends, plus 10-20% of the same-pregnancy-month Facebook group from mumsnet. Nobody really knows because it's just a little comfort at night in bed, and some people are judgemental so it isn't discussed much. Only those who check in "are you still" will know it continues. Our GP and the old health visitor wouldn't know either, they didn't ask since he was 1. The dentist didn't ask since he was 2. I suspect it is much more common than many people seem to believe.

I would have started drawing it to a close by 3, I was aiming for 2yo but mine both had no interest after 14 months, it was a bit sad but they found eating and cups really exciting!

Each to their own and I wish I could be less selfish, but by 15 months I was done and wanted my own space and body back. Luckily, my daughter just announced "no" one day and went back to sucking her thumb and that was our last feed. I was dreading if it was going to be difficult to wean her and I probably would've carried on if it was easier than stopping.

I did until 2 years. I started getting aversion, I think nothing much was coming out and my 2 yo wasn’t bothered when I told her it was all empty and so we were going to start drinking moo moo milk before bed instead. She wasn’t phased at all.

im pregnant now and can’t even picture breastfeeding again. Got the ick now thinking about it. same thing happened with my first pregnancy. So I know when this baby gets here the hormones will take over again.

We followed attachment parenting/blw.

breastfeeding is a mutual relationship. When one of the partners is done, it ends.

I was done when dd turned 3, so it ended.

I don’t follow attachment parenting.

My DS1 self weaned at 21 mo, probably because I was massively pregnant with his sister then and I assumed the milk taste changed. He politely said “no thank you” and I I didn’t insist.

DD2 was in Covid, so crazier time, and concerns about immunity etc. She self weaned at 3 years - rejected the boob 3 evenings in a row so I stopped offering. She asked once again a few month later and then I did say no, sorry, nothing left.

Interested to hear the benefits to your child's mental health, can you expand?

(I've bottle fed one, BF another until she self weaned just before she was 3yo and I've expressed for 3rd DC who had an NG tube until she was 1yo so I've no agenda for asking, I'm genuinely curious)

When I was younger I thought extended bf was weird. Now I have a 28 month old and, although I didn’t manage to breastfeed, if I had she would still be BF now if she wanted and honestly I cringe at my self for thinking anything weird about it. Look at mammals we are most like and their usual breastfeeding lengths, it’s natural.