Page 6 | If you do 'attachment parenting'/BLW will you really let your child breastfeed until any age they do?

porridgeisbae · 2023-12-03T13:14:11+00:00

I just started watching this Dr. Phil episode. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNeyMG2kAcM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNeyMG2kAcM]] If you do 'baby led weaning' or similar, would you really let your child breastfeed or suck on your boob to whatever age they want? Or would you have a cut off point really even if the child wanted to carry it on? I'm aware that in other cultures they often breastfeed until an older age than we do.

Sauvblanctime · 03/12/2023 17:51

porridgeisbae · 03/12/2023 17:30

I don't think breastfeeding is known to be particularly pleasant for the mum, especially once there's a risk of teeth. It's said to be pretty annoying, that's why most people stop relatively early.

So I do think people are doing it because they think it's the best thing for their child.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

so you’ve never bf, and you’re making assumptions about it.

you’re an absolute wet wipe mate

get over yourself

ZombieBoob · 03/12/2023 17:52

I hate breastfeeding. The constant need for you all the time is so draining. I co sleep and do attachment parenting but I'm counting down the days to stop bf. I've bf 4 kids 1st was 4 months stopped due to losing weight. 2nd was 3 bf while bf a newborn 3rd was 2 year and a bit 4th is 10 months old and I just cannot wait for it to be over.

ZombieBoob · 03/12/2023 17:52

I hate breastfeeding. The constant need for you all the time is so draining. I co sleep and do attachment parenting but I'm counting down the days to stop bf. I've bf 4 kids 1st was 4 months stopped due to losing weight. 2nd was 3 bf while bf a newborn 3rd was 2 year and a bit 4th is 10 months old and I just cannot wait for it to be over.

S23 · 03/12/2023 17:57

Parker231 · 03/12/2023 17:37

How did you/DC’s manage when you were back at work or away overnight? I was back at work after six months and as well as social overnight trips away I also had to travel internationally for work on a regular basis.

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I went back to work (paramedic) when DD was 8 months doing 12+ hour shifts (but part time, so not too many of them fortunately). I pumped once during a shift and stored the milk in a cool bag with an icepack.

I pumped sat on the floor in random locker rooms and store cupboards at whichever ambulance station I was nearest too, and if stuck outside hospital I would ask the nurse in charge for an unused consultation room to pump in which my crew mate sat on the ambulance with the patient.

Once DD was over one year and could have cows milk on the days I was working it got easier, and as soon as I could comfortably get away with it I stopped expressing at work (just always wore breasts pads incase I had to care for someone else's crying newborn!!).

Over the years I've known colleagues return to full time rotating shift patterns and keep breastfeeding/ expressing, now that's some serious commitment.

Original poster

porridgeisbae · 03/12/2023 17:58

@Sauvblanctime I was responding to a PP a couple of posts up, and others, who were claiming mums who breastfeed for longer, do it for themselves rather than their child.

OP posts:

ZaphodBeeblebroxArthurDent · 03/12/2023 17:58

I loved breastfeeding my boys. I was actually a bit sad when they decided to stop by themselves between 18 and 24 months 😔 but (even 15+ years ago) I was seen as 'odd' by fellow mums for feeling that way 😳

spriots · 03/12/2023 18:02

Parker231 · 03/12/2023 17:37

How did you/DC’s manage when you were back at work or away overnight? I was back at work after six months and as well as social overnight trips away I also had to travel internationally for work on a regular basis.

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So was I. Until about 12 months fed morning and night, able to be away overnight from 9 months or so.

Can now be away for a week.

Have never had to pump

IndecentFeminist · 03/12/2023 18:04

We did. #1 self weaned at 18 months, #2 at 3 years and I cut #3 off at around 4 and a bit. He was only feeding at bedtime anyway and didn't really need it by then

Parker231 · 03/12/2023 18:08

HappyAsASandboy · 03/12/2023 17:49

@Parker231 I went back to work at 12 months with all of them. They drank cows milk in the day from sippy cups and fed from me all bloody night. I did occasional overnights away from 12 months for work, and they were just offered a sippy cup of cows milk by my husband or mum, whoever was with them overnight.

I admire your stamina. One of the reasons I chose to use formula exclusively was so that I wasn’t solely responsible for feeding, especially at night.

exitviathegiftshop · 03/12/2023 18:13

Actually one bit that is nice in a selfish way is getting a relatively wriggle free snuggle with no whispered requests /demands for anything...
Admittedly I can usually get those when they're tired and falling asleep anyway, it just takes them longer to go off so deeply when I don't feed them to sleep, so I end up trapped for ages and transferring them to bed is a bit riskier...

IndecentFeminist · 03/12/2023 18:47

I only didn't stop because I was too lazy to went tbh. When #3 came of an age I wanted him to stop he was old enough to tell that he was too old now and that was more or less that.

crostini · 03/12/2023 18:50

CalistoNoSolo · 03/12/2023 13:32

Dd was around 1yo when she self weaned. I do think that a lot of women keep bfing for themselves rather than their child but that's an unpopular opinion.

Unpopular opinion because it's an ignorant opinion

WarriorN · 03/12/2023 19:02

Those who do go beyond a year often set limits and introduce nursing manners etc which can actually be a really good way to teach general manners actually. Many set a date eg a birthday or gradually distract as much as possible. Or set more limits.

Most do night wean somewhere around 1 to 2

WarriorN · 03/12/2023 19:04

Ds1 was very small and caught so many bugs when I went back to work and he went to nursery that there wasn't a chance to wean.

Fed till 3.5

Ds2 I just rolled with it till 4

spriots · 03/12/2023 19:06

I night weaned and sleep trained at about 7 months, have never coslept. For me breastfeeding doesn't really have anything to do with those things

mrssunshinexxx · 03/12/2023 19:11

@Outliers why isit weird ? But not weird for grown adults to drink an animals milk?! Now that I find weird.
I BF until 2y 4m and 14 m she stopped. The WHO recommend upto 2 years for health benefits for both child and parent including decreasing the risk of getting cancer which I for one think is reason enough to lower your child's chance of that

AvengedQuince · 03/12/2023 19:11

CalistoNoSolo · 03/12/2023 14:01

Because they want to keep the baby 100% reliant stage going as long as possible. It's really strange, like they are afraid they willl lose their identity if they don't have a babe in arms.

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100% reliant? DS went off into the classroom on his first day at 4 without looking back, he was more independent than most children his age.

SingingChurches · 03/12/2023 19:34

AvengedQuince · 03/12/2023 19:11

100% reliant? DS went off into the classroom on his first day at 4 without looking back, he was more independent than most children his age.

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Yep, breastfed babies tend to have more secure attachments, so are more likely to be confident and independent in these sorts of situations because they have a secure foundation.

It’s often why you don’t see breastfed babies/toddlers who have comforters/one particular favourite toy.

Sauvblanctime · 03/12/2023 19:35

AvengedQuince · 03/12/2023 19:11

100% reliant? DS went off into the classroom on his first day at 4 without looking back, he was more independent than most children his age.

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Haha same!! No backwards look, just ‘bye mum!!’

Parker231 · 03/12/2023 19:42

SingingChurches · 03/12/2023 19:34

Yep, breastfed babies tend to have more secure attachments, so are more likely to be confident and independent in these sorts of situations because they have a secure foundation.

It’s often why you don’t see breastfed babies/toddlers who have comforters/one particular favourite toy.

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The same can happen with formula fed babies - with DC’s I put it down in part to them starting full time nursery at six months. No separation anxiety and developed confidence and independence easily. Could be antidotal.

BurbageBrook · 03/12/2023 19:53

@Parker231 not everyone has to do overnights for work, and not everyone wants to do social overnights away from DC. Personally I'm not planning on any overnights away from my DC till they're at least 2 or 3.

Tiamaria86 · 03/12/2023 20:04

BurbageBrook · 03/12/2023 19:53

@Parker231 not everyone has to do overnights for work, and not everyone wants to do social overnights away from DC. Personally I'm not planning on any overnights away from my DC till they're at least 2 or 3.

How fabulous for you.

RedRobyn2021 · 03/12/2023 20:06

My daughter is 3 months off 3yo and I still nurse her to sleep at night

If you'd asked me before I had children or even when she was 1 if I'd still be nursing her at 3 I'd have said no and pre kids I thought it was weird and it genuinely disturbed me. Like it made me irrationally angry, I think because breasts are so sexualised for the male gaze in our culture. I had to do a lot of work on myself to try to make it normal during my pregnancy and I actually didn't really want to do it, until she was here and then as difficult as I found it nothing would make me give up.

Now I have a child who I've breastfed from day dot, it's the most natural thing in the world and it makes her happy. I don't mind at all. I have reduced the feeding quite a lot and if I'm honest I did that out of fear of judgement, so it hasn't been entirely child led.

Things like that video perpetuate this belief that it's weird and it isn't.

RedRobyn2021 · 03/12/2023 20:07

@SingingChurches this is certainly true for my daughter

RedRobyn2021 · 03/12/2023 20:08

@CalistoNoSolo

Hahahaha

You idiot