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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 kids is the perfect amount?

118 replies

user6776 · 01/12/2023 20:11

I'm 1 of 2 and I'm due my second child. As a child, I felt my parents were still able to give us as much attention and quality time together separately that we needed. I hope that I'll be able to do the same, but I suppose I won't know how I'll manage until second DS is born.

I think 2 is the perfect amount for us. I don't think a third child is in our future as I'd be worried I really would be too stretched to split my attention between them.

What are people's experience of 2 or more DC?

OP posts:
Possimpible · 01/12/2023 20:14

YANBU to think 2 is the perfect number for you. Your thread title is VU as it suggests you think you can comment on what's perfect for other people. For some it will be 0, for some it will be more. I'm leaning towards 0 personally, but if I did TTC I think I'd be one and done. I'm one of two but having a sibling hasn't been a particularly positive experience.

2018citrine · 01/12/2023 20:15

I like having 2. I can hold hands with both, plenty of opportunity for one on one time. I was the oldest of five. Hated it.

LastChristmasIgaveyoumyTart · 01/12/2023 20:16

YABU to try to dictate how many children other people have or judge others for their choices.

GreyhpundGirl · 01/12/2023 20:17

One is the perfect number for me I'm the youngest of 3 and don't feel I missed out on anything due to this. 2 is the perfect number for some friends, 3 is the perfect number for other friends.I know someone with six. Whatever works for you 🤷

Jemimapinotduck · 01/12/2023 20:18

3 was the magic number for us

MolkosTeenageAngst · 01/12/2023 20:20

There is no perfect amount, every person/ couple will have a different idea of the right amount of kids for them.

ThePineapplePrincess · 01/12/2023 20:20

YANBU. One and they don’t get as much peer socialisation, and that’s really important.

Three or more and your attention and resources are too divided; you won’t, no matter how much you wish you could or think you do, be able to meet all their needs. Each one will suffer because there are at least two others to contend with.

bananabug · 01/12/2023 20:20

I nearly stuck at one child but I'm so glad I had two. They really love each other and are best friends. I wouldn't want another one though as I find two enough hard work! But I'm glad my mother had four children or else I wouldn't be alive! I didn't enjoy being the youngest though. I think 1 or 2 is perfect and any more is too much work - but that's just my personal experience.

scrivette · 01/12/2023 20:20

Well I would like four, but I have three and a step child and no more room in the house. I was happy with two but when the third came I felt more complete.

itsmyp4rty · 01/12/2023 20:23

My mum had 2, it was awful, we fought all the time. I have one, he's almost an adult now and it is the perfect number IMO.

NatMoz · 01/12/2023 20:24

I think you've made a mistake and one is the perfect number.

Sorry for your loss of perfection being snatched away from you

DragonFly98 · 01/12/2023 20:24

ThePineapplePrincess · 01/12/2023 20:20

YANBU. One and they don’t get as much peer socialisation, and that’s really important.

Three or more and your attention and resources are too divided; you won’t, no matter how much you wish you could or think you do, be able to meet all their needs. Each one will suffer because there are at least two others to contend with.

What a ridiculous thing to say of course you can meet more than two children's needs.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 01/12/2023 20:26

I think 2 is great but not the perfect number for every family. I am one of two and I’ve always wanted a slightly bigger family than I grew up in. Not a really huge family, maybe three or four children. I currently don’t plan to stop at two. My first baby is six months old. I absolutely loved being pregnant and I love having a baby. I would be very sad if someone told me I was only allowed to do it one more time. I can’t really explain why but I just feel like I’m supposed to have more than two children in my life.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/12/2023 20:26

I like 2- my friend likes 1, my other friend likes 3.

Peepshowcreepshow · 01/12/2023 20:27

Agree with @itsmyp4rty . Parents can have however many they want but not every child is overjoyed to be lumbered with a sibling.

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 20:28

Yes, I think so too.

My 3rd is a fucking nightmare 🤣

Idontdrinkiknow · 01/12/2023 20:28

2 felt lacking, 3 is just right.

Iamnotminterested · 01/12/2023 20:29

3 is the perfect number.

TropDrôle · 01/12/2023 20:29

YABVU

One and done.

Pussygaloregalapagos · 01/12/2023 20:29

I think 4 is perfect. 2 then a little break then another 2. Lovely. Only got 3 though and they are all delightful much of the time so very happy with that.

I was one of 2, now just 1 of 2 left. Would like another sibling.

theconfidenceofwho · 01/12/2023 20:30

As an adult, only having one sibling never feels enough - all my friends with 2 or more have so much more support to deal with all the crap being an adult brings, so I deliberately had 3, which is the perfect number for me!

Desecratedcoconut · 01/12/2023 20:31

Three was the perfect amount for us

But because I don't suffer from a stunted imagination, I'm aware that my own preference isn't a universal truth.

Coolblur · 01/12/2023 20:32

ThePineapplePrincess YAB so U about only children

Naptrappedmummy · 01/12/2023 20:36

I said to DH yesterday if we were rich and I was in better health I would love 4-5. I adore big families, grew up in one, knew many. To me 2 is kind of suburban, quiet and ultra conformist (before anyone has a go, I’ve got 2 and won’t be having any more!).

Being one of a little gang means you can get up to nice mischief, share a room, learn to rub along with an array of other little characters, share toys. It’s great for kids if done properly and just enriches the tapestry of life.

Daisies12 · 01/12/2023 20:37

There’s no perfect on anything in life. Only what’s right for you. And your post is very upsetting to those who can’t have any kids, or only 1, and would like more.