Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To think 2 kids is the perfect amount?

118 replies

user6776 · 01/12/2023 20:11

I'm 1 of 2 and I'm due my second child. As a child, I felt my parents were still able to give us as much attention and quality time together separately that we needed. I hope that I'll be able to do the same, but I suppose I won't know how I'll manage until second DS is born.

I think 2 is the perfect amount for us. I don't think a third child is in our future as I'd be worried I really would be too stretched to split my attention between them.

What are people's experience of 2 or more DC?

OP posts:

thecatsthecats · 01/12/2023 23:44

theconfidenceofwho · 01/12/2023 20:30

As an adult, only having one sibling never feels enough - all my friends with 2 or more have so much more support to deal with all the crap being an adult brings, so I deliberately had 3, which is the perfect number for me!

Weird. Of all my friends I can't think of any leaning on their siblings for support. I have three siblings and they're the last people I'd look to for support.

theconfidenceofwho · 01/12/2023 23:52

That's such a shame for you @thecatsthecats

blueshoes · 02/12/2023 00:01

theconfidenceofwho · 01/12/2023 23:52

That's such a shame for you @thecatsthecats

How smug. There is no guarantee siblings will be close to each other as adults.

theconfidenceofwho · 02/12/2023 00:07

It wasn't meant in a smug way, just that I find it such a shame for the individuals involved that they don't have their siblings to lean on. I'm not close to my sibling but very much appreciate them being there and know I can rely on them & wish I had more than just the one (which is absolutely the reason I had more than 2 children as in my personal experience, 2 isn't enough).

LittleBlueUnicorn · 02/12/2023 00:09

I have 5 siblings and don't speak to any of them they're the last people I would go to for support.

If I had my time again I would have only had one child as I think that's the "perfect" amount.

blueshoes · 02/12/2023 00:11

@theconfidenceofwho thanks for clarifying

Nosleepforthismum · 02/12/2023 03:29

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 01/12/2023 20:26

I think 2 is great but not the perfect number for every family. I am one of two and I’ve always wanted a slightly bigger family than I grew up in. Not a really huge family, maybe three or four children. I currently don’t plan to stop at two. My first baby is six months old. I absolutely loved being pregnant and I love having a baby. I would be very sad if someone told me I was only allowed to do it one more time. I can’t really explain why but I just feel like I’m supposed to have more than two children in my life.

I absolutely could have written this with my first baby! I always wanted a big family. I’m 2 years ahead of you and recently had my second and I’ve surprised myself with how much I suddenly feel like actually 2 are enough. For me, I struggle with the guilt of trying to split myself in two to meet both kids needs and give each of them enough individual time and attention.

jesterdourt · 02/12/2023 07:20

Weird. Of all my friends I can't think of any leaning on their siblings for support

Why is something weird because it’s not your experience?

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 07:31

@Naptrappedmummy

This is very very clearly a subjective discussion. If the OP believed her opinion to be fact she wouldn’t be asking for the views of others. Deliberately interpreting posts in the most literal and obtuse way possible just makes it look like you don’t really understand the discussion.

I understand the discussion perfectly well thanks. I just think it’s small minded and judgemental.

ClearConfusion · 02/12/2023 07:43

“To think 2 kids is the perfect amount?”
Emphatically NO, not if you want three, one, none or any other amount. Everyone’s interpretation of “perfect” is different. You choose your perfect and let everyone else choose theirs.

Naptrappedmummy · 02/12/2023 08:04

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 07:31

@Naptrappedmummy

I understand the discussion perfectly well thanks. I just think it’s small minded and judgemental.

Edited

Why join in then? Everyone else seems quite happy to discuss. Why not just leave them to it.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 08:17

@Naptrappedmummy

Why join in then? Everyone else seems quite happy to discuss. Why not just leave them to it.

Because it’s a discussion forum and the overarching theme of the discussion is just as open to comment upon as the details are.

I’m also far from the only person to say that this is silly, subjective, tactless and a bit judgemental.

NoCloudsAllowed · 02/12/2023 08:37

Why would there be a family size that suited everyone? It's like saying 'i think a bank manager is the perfect husband' or 'spag bol is the perfect dinner and everyone should have it at least once a week'

You just don't need uniformity

Idontdrinkiknow · 02/12/2023 09:12

Screamingabdabz · 01/12/2023 23:37

Strangely we have exactly the same view about each and every one of our three children.

Show quote history

I know! Imagine thinking your kids get lost in the crowd when you have more than one! Like they aren't all unique people!

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2023 09:15

NoCloudsAllowed · 02/12/2023 08:37

You just don't need uniformity

I know. The premise of the thread is daft.

Fifthtimelucky · 02/12/2023 09:20

I was one of four children and I always thought that was a perfect size.

Ideally I'd have liked four children myself. However, I have two and it was the right number for our circumstances, which include the fact that I was 36 when I had the first and my husband is ten years older.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2023 10:18

Deliberately interpreting posts in the most literal and obtuse way possible just makes it look like you don’t really understand the discussion.

@Naptrappedmummy as @Thepeopleversuswork said, I too get the point and was making a comment on the thoughtlessness of the premise.

I did join in the discussion, before adding this ppint, which is also valid - it's a discussion forum after all.

Really not sure what the purpose of your posts are.

Orangeandgold · 02/12/2023 10:39

I’ve heard this saying growing up. 2 being the perfect number. I think we are so dynamic as a society that it doesn’t resonate with anyone or clearly some people find it offensive.

My guess is that OP is sharing a statement for us to discuss as opposed to wanting to offend us all.

Anyway I always wanted 3 children -it was just my ideal number whenever I thought about MY version of a family. I even have dreams about it (weird).

I ended up with 1 at 19 and honestly I do not care how many children I end up with. Love motherhood but there is so much more to consider.

Because I was a young mum and now I’m in my 30s a lot of my friends that are trying for children or looking to start a family always tell me “you are so lucky that you managed to fit one in”.

I find that such a weird comment.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread