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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Getting a dressing down at work in front of others. Ok or not?

108 replies

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:19

I'd love to hear thoughts from others on this. I recently moved into an alternative NHS department to increase my skill set. For context, on the job description for my own job and this department also, 'the ability to cope with an often hostile and challenging workplace' is listed on the job description.

There is a lot of sickness in the department which, on the face of it, looks like it results from mental health issues. Perhaps these particular employees aren't able to cope ALL the time with the 'hostile' environment, but manage to the majority of the time.

The person in charge raises their voices and 'dresses down' employees who make mistakes in front of a room full of staff (minimum 6+ at any one time). Often these seem to be fairly minor mistakes, and to be honest to be expected since we are all human and some staff have minimal experience and are on the lower pay bands.

Some people seem to be targeted over every mistake. Others who are really experienced and so obviously don't make many mistakes, can make a really significant whopper but aren't pulled up on it by said manager. Also, the really experienced person who made significant whopper is the first to shout at others (who are human, inexperienced and lack training) even though they have shown themselves that they aren't perfect either.

AIBU to think that when providing feedback and pulling people up on errors it can still be done in a respectful, polite way? Is it ok to speak as loudly as you can so that everyone within 20 feet can hear? Is it ok to shout at people at work, instead of conveying the same information at a regular volume? Are they just doing it so that others don't make the same errors? It feels really humiliating and shameful for the person on the receiving end.

Genuinely just trying to get my head round the department I'm in.

OP posts:
Letsgetouttahere2023 · 30/11/2023 13:20

Sounds toxic op!

tortoiseshellcats · 30/11/2023 13:22

That absolutely should not be happening. I'm not surprised there's so much sickness! They should never be shouting at you.

JacklynBlue · 30/11/2023 13:22

It's not normal or ok. If feedback needs to be given, it should be one to one in a calm, professional manner. Who can you raise this with?

Nevermind31 · 30/11/2023 13:23

No, not ok. Ever

Gwenhwyfar · 30/11/2023 13:23

People shouldn't be told off in public, except maybe in an emergency situation.

SaladSeeker · 30/11/2023 13:24

I read this as someone giving you a dressing gown

Ktime · 30/11/2023 13:25

SaladSeeker · 30/11/2023 13:24

I read this as someone giving you a dressing gown

Me too! I thought it was about a Secret Santa gift 😂

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:25

SaladSeeker · 30/11/2023 13:24

I read this as someone giving you a dressing gown

No, not yet. Have got my head down and trying my hardest not to be noticed. It's just what's going on around me.

OP posts:
MargotBamborough · 30/11/2023 13:26

It sounds really toxic.

It's pretty astonishing that they actually advertised the workplace as being "hostile". That's not something to be proud of. They should be engaging in self reflection and trying to figure out how to make the environment a positive and supportive one, not recruiting people primarily for their ability to cope with a hostile one.

It seems like taking pride in having a "hostile environment" has spread from the Home Office to the NHS.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 30/11/2023 13:26

I misread that as dressing gown (imagining wfh video call) and was really confused for a minute 😂

But no, that's not OK. I'd imagine the 'hostile environment' is a reference to the public being unpleasant, not the staff!

If they've got staff causing a hostile environment to the point it's in the bloody job description they're surely an open goal for a constructive dismissal claim?! They can't just say 'oh, it says you have to let your manager bully you in the job description, so it's fine'!

mondaytosunday · 30/11/2023 13:26

I would have thought the 'hostile and challenging' workplace referred to patients, not fellow staff members. It is unacceptable to raise one's voice in the workplace and any disciplinary issues should be dealt with in private.

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:27

Ha! Sorry! Didn't read your reply properly! Nope, no dressing gown!

Is 'dressing down' not a common phrase?! To me it means when someone stands above you/close to you and rips you to shreds a little with their words and demeanour!

OP posts:
Mazuslongtoenail · 30/11/2023 13:28

SaladSeeker · 30/11/2023 13:24

I read this as someone giving you a dressing gown

I was waiting for the bit when someone produced a dressing gown to keep warm on a zoom call! Must clean my glasses.

fishfingersandtoes · 30/11/2023 13:30

I'd say that was a union or HR (or both) issue. No employer should be making the working environment more hostile! Yes maybe patient facing roles might involve hostile patients but that's not what managers should be doing.

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:30

mondaytosunday · 30/11/2023 13:26

I would have thought the 'hostile and challenging' workplace referred to patients, not fellow staff members. It is unacceptable to raise one's voice in the workplace and any disciplinary issues should be dealt with in private.

Yes, I think they must be referring to patients, but patient contact is actually fairly minimal (although they CAN be hostile too!) and I have found that, actually, the hostility is the culture between the staff.

Can it ever be excused because it's a stressful environment?

OP posts:
MadameCamembert · 30/11/2023 13:31

I’m another person who was imagining you sat at your desk with your dressing gown over your clothes!

I don’t think a dressing down or a dressing gown are ever ok in public.

Reallybadidea · 30/11/2023 13:31

I'm guessing operating theatres?

I would have thought the 'hostile and challenging' workplace referred to patients, not fellow staff members. I have been screamed and sworn at more times than I care to remember by fellow staff members.

FreshWinterMorning · 30/11/2023 13:31

That's horrific and NOT OK!

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 30/11/2023 13:33

I would struggle to find any example where this is acceptable behaviour.

Bonbon21 · 30/11/2023 13:35

Very unprofessional.
And says a lot more about the line manager(?) than it does about the person who made a mistake.
You really dont have to take it... stand up.. look at them and tell them you will not be spoken to like that. Way out of the room if you have to.
Speak to your union.
You ARE in a union .. yeah?

Should always be in a union if employed by NHS in UK.

Bonbon21 · 30/11/2023 13:36

... walk oit...

LBFseBrom · 30/11/2023 13:37

That is absolutely outrageous, nobody should be publicly reprimanded, it is wrong to humiliate anyone. If an employee needs to be pointed in a certain direction that should be done in private.

I experienced that at school and it was appalling. There was even a 'disgrace bench' (reminds of Jane Eyre), and I remember girls sitting on it in the main hall, sobbing.

Op, this manager or whatever needs to be corrected, people must get together and deal with her. She is a bully. If it cannot be done in the department, go higher. There's no room for that sort of attitude or behaviour in the workplace.

Gnomegnomegnome · 30/11/2023 13:40

Contact your union and read the whistleblower policy.

I also work in the NHS in a ‘hostile environment’ (Mh ward) but it is not the staff!

People don’t learn from being shouted at or by being embarrassed in front of others. If they are like this towards staff what are they like towards patients?

StarlightLady · 30/11/2023 13:41

It’s never excusable. Sadly, l think a lot of people see Gordon Ramsey as a role model.

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:41

Bonbon21 · 30/11/2023 13:35

Very unprofessional.
And says a lot more about the line manager(?) than it does about the person who made a mistake.
You really dont have to take it... stand up.. look at them and tell them you will not be spoken to like that. Way out of the room if you have to.
Speak to your union.
You ARE in a union .. yeah?

Should always be in a union if employed by NHS in UK.

This is what I've been thinking. It says a lot about the manager. It makes me think she isn't up to the job if she can't regulate her emotions and communicate in a professional manner. And there are a couple of other staff the same.

I was just wondering if everyone else thought this. I thought a few people here might chirp in with an alternative view and say that it's so annoying working with inexperienced staff who make mistakes and can't do their job properly!

OP posts:
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