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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Getting a dressing down at work in front of others. Ok or not?

108 replies

rolsete · 30/11/2023 13:19

I'd love to hear thoughts from others on this. I recently moved into an alternative NHS department to increase my skill set. For context, on the job description for my own job and this department also, 'the ability to cope with an often hostile and challenging workplace' is listed on the job description.

There is a lot of sickness in the department which, on the face of it, looks like it results from mental health issues. Perhaps these particular employees aren't able to cope ALL the time with the 'hostile' environment, but manage to the majority of the time.

The person in charge raises their voices and 'dresses down' employees who make mistakes in front of a room full of staff (minimum 6+ at any one time). Often these seem to be fairly minor mistakes, and to be honest to be expected since we are all human and some staff have minimal experience and are on the lower pay bands.

Some people seem to be targeted over every mistake. Others who are really experienced and so obviously don't make many mistakes, can make a really significant whopper but aren't pulled up on it by said manager. Also, the really experienced person who made significant whopper is the first to shout at others (who are human, inexperienced and lack training) even though they have shown themselves that they aren't perfect either.

AIBU to think that when providing feedback and pulling people up on errors it can still be done in a respectful, polite way? Is it ok to speak as loudly as you can so that everyone within 20 feet can hear? Is it ok to shout at people at work, instead of conveying the same information at a regular volume? Are they just doing it so that others don't make the same errors? It feels really humiliating and shameful for the person on the receiving end.

Genuinely just trying to get my head round the department I'm in.

OP posts:
AllisColm · 03/12/2023 09:55

SaladSeeker · 30/11/2023 13:24

I read this as someone giving you a dressing gown

Yup 😆

Lochness1975 · 03/12/2023 10:05

Obvious why there’s so much sickness in the department.

Duckinghell80 · 03/12/2023 10:16

CambridgeLass · 03/12/2023 09:40

They’re not all like this. Mine isn’t.

Granted, there are plenty of strong characters, but these are needed when you have to stand up to a consultant in the best interests of a patient or to get things done in an emergency where you may only have seconds to save a life.

However, where I work, it is never used in a hostile way towards colleagues etc. If there is an issue, it is dealt with professionally and in a healthy manner.

@rolsete if you feel able, please take this further. I’m sure higher management must already be aware that there is a problem. Push them to sort it out.

I’d love to work in a department that isn’t. Unfortunately I’ve worked in two major hospitals in my city and they’ve both been the same.
in a private hospital too and I don’t see the same problems there, it’s lovely.

I love my job but some of the staff and many of the management let it down :(

Nynaeva · 03/12/2023 10:19

I've worked in several Trusts and until my current one have been lucky enough to have courteous and professional managers and colleagues although I now know just how incredibly lucky I have been previously. It's one of many reasons I'm trying to get out and why I feel so exhausted on the days I'm on site.

Definitely join a union (though how good they are often depends on your local rep), the NHS is so toxic right now you really need their protection and support. My department is bad enough but I can see that others at my Trust are even worse. The long term sickness record here is the worst I've ever seen and so is the disconnect between the management and ordinary graded staff. And in the region I now work this seems to be very, very common.

Frankly, I would also check out how trustworthy your HR/Freedom to Speak Up/even your Occupational Health people are before you decide whether to confide in them locally or look from support from the wider region. Freedom to Speak Up was a great idea IF it had been an external neutral network, but most FTSU people are employed by their own Trusts and some are only employed for a few hours a week while having another full time job in the Trust.

Personally, I'd look for a job in another department if not another Trust. The bully won't go away, especially not if they're management. They'll probably end up being promoted.

MrsRonaldWeasley · 03/12/2023 10:24

I used to work in an environment like this (not NHS but other public sector) It is not ok. I don’t work there anymore.

DottyLottieLou · 03/12/2023 13:38

Very poor management

Vonesk · 03/12/2023 17:03

This is Humiliating Bullying in front of others.
Not Acceptable.
Needs Logging in a Diary.
Usually this happens ( I've seen it, been done to me)
When higher management want to DECANT ALL STAFF and replace with imported workers. I saw this happen
It's infuriating and upsetting to see valued, hard working, friends and colleagues leave in droves to be replaced with strangers who seem clueless and need a lot of help and support.
There is a WORD for this and not a lot know it's called ' CONSTRUCTIVE DISMISSAL'
.....( where a person is so badly treated- they leave)
The person who leaves should go to Solicitor for Employment Law and should receive compensation by a large amount. But they need written evidence by way of a personal record of each event written and signed every day.

Bernardmanning · 06/12/2023 18:47

It shouldn't be done like that. That said, perhaps it is a group debrief at the end or start of the shift? If it hinges around safely and procedures and everyone is really busy, then perhaps the manager views it as an efficient, albeit abrupt, way to run things.

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