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Original poster

School parent deliberately coughing on me every morning

301 replies

Happyluce · 30/11/2023 09:07

A school parent keeps deliberately coughing on me. We stand outside the gates and then in the play ground waiting to go in and they don’t cough for all that time. But As soon as they are next to me they fake cough really loud without covering their mouth or they deliberately clear their throat really loud behind me. This keeps happening every morning. I feel like it’s a way of trying to bully me without speaking to me. What would you do?

OP posts:
Remagirl · 01/12/2023 23:35

Turn around and look at him with a look of disbelief, surprise and dislike. He'll get the message x

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/12/2023 23:41

@Happyluce are you wearing a facemask? Because if you are, he might just be being a complete dick by doing this deliberately to you.

Although, you say you don't wear strong perfume, but even anyone wearing any perfume really agitates my sinuses and respiratory system, so would cause me issues, but if this was it, he'd surely keep well away from you.

I think you either need to hang back and make sure he's always well in front of you in the line, or literally just turn around to him and ask him outright "why do you always have to cough over me, it's disgusting?" Put him on the spot to explain his actions.

LauderSyme · 01/12/2023 23:42

I believe you that this is really happening. As pp said, there are a lot of gaslighting replies here. I think if it was bothering me as much as it's bothering you I'd have to tell him "can you please stop coughing on me, it's rude and gross".

Ebeneser · 01/12/2023 23:43

I like the umbrella idea. Point it behind, under your arm to create a space behind you. If he walks into that then turn around, glare and say "do you mind, you are violating my personal space".

SheSaidHummingbird · 01/12/2023 23:57

Step out of the single file line and stand behind him or just move away to the back. I'd rather wait longer than be coughed at/on. Feel free to curse at him under your breath as you pass.

Heybearu · 02/12/2023 00:18

The uncomfortable closeness sounds horrible, arr you friends with any school mums you could tell and try to walk in with. I think the sticking out umbrella and asking for personal space is a good idea when he bumps into it.
If this keeps happening I would mention to school and ask to drop child of at the office for a week to see if you can break the pattern.
He sounds unpleasant

Fraaahnces · 02/12/2023 01:54

Give him a mask and say “You really need to get a COVID test, mate. Get out of my personal space!”

tara66 · 02/12/2023 05:52

I was also going to suggest a mask but taking one with you and putting it on yourself when you hear the coughing!

Kattiekat · 02/12/2023 06:51

Hahaha - this was ment to reply to someone’s cough off comment. Sorry i do t have any advice of my own to give that hasn’t already been given

MightyFishwife · 02/12/2023 06:52

“Can you back up a bit? You keep coughing on me.”

Job’s a good’un

LickleLamb · 02/12/2023 07:14

Someone did a similar thing to me - would shout across to me but not make it clear who he was shouting at. It's horrible - you can't help waiting for the shout/cough. Mine was also for no reason that I could think of.
If you cough back etc it proves to them they are affecting you which is what they want.
Only thing imv would be get a male companion to say something/ stand with you.

How long does this queuing up go on - possibly it will finish after this first term? Can you drop DC with someone else so you don't have to hang about.

StopStartStop · 02/12/2023 07:17

Do you wear strong perfume?

CleaningAngel · 02/12/2023 07:18

As he does it give him.a look of disgust and walk away, do that a few times he will get the hint....or he's got skin as thick as a rhino if he doesn't!!

grayhairdontcare · 02/12/2023 07:19

Just don't stand near him.

WillowTit · 02/12/2023 07:23

i would also let him in front of me

Forgotmylogindetails · 02/12/2023 07:33

Don’t stand next to them.

emziecy · 02/12/2023 07:33

Happyluce · 30/11/2023 09:20

Thanks everyone it’s actually one of the dads and it 100% sounds like a fake cough and it’s only when I’m next to or in front of them. If it’s a real cough fair enough but he does not cover his mouth ever and it’s only when next to me

There are several options here OP...
1 Cough back in a timely manner. Match him cough for cough. Possibly with some kind of weird eye contact or other mirroring

2 Melodramatic recoil coupled with an audible noise implying absolute revulsion

3 Hawk up some phlegm and gob it straight in his coughy face

4 Tell him to fuck right off and call him a pervert REALLY loudly

5 Get over yourself and stop being a twat

Holidayhell22 · 02/12/2023 07:34

Seeing as though he makes a bee line for you I would turn around and say very loudly ‘Do you mind?’
Every time.
I’d also start wearing heavy perfume and give the twat something to cough about.
There again I don’t appreciate any randomer in my personal space.
The more he does it the more perfume you need to spray.

emziecy · 02/12/2023 07:40

DidiAskYouThough · 30/11/2023 09:28

@jemenfous37
'Have you reported this to the authorities?'

Did you sniff glue before you wrote that? 😄

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Holidayhell22 · 02/12/2023 07:41

Also if I’m in a queue and someone is far too close ( basically breathing down my neck and so close I can feel there body pushing up to me) I swing my bag back over my shoulder and make sure it’s between me and the offender. If I’m carrying a basket I’ll carry that in a way that means they bash into the basket rather than me.
Use the umbrella tactic too.

Ladyj84 · 02/12/2023 07:42

Simple move lol

lucya66 · 02/12/2023 07:46

Could it be a tic?

Howbizzare22 · 02/12/2023 07:49

I mean it’s gross he doesn’t cover his mouth but I can’t help but feel you may be hyper alert to coughing and dare I say a bit paranoid. You can only ask him to cover his mouth when he coughs or just don’t stand near him. People are annoying there’s not much else you can do!

cerisepanther73 · 02/12/2023 08:00

L.o.l i agree be grateful 🙏 you are nor married to the germs bacteria harbinger of individual he is ,

Just keep a distance from him it's that simple but understand you being irriated annoyed with him.

fulawitt · 02/12/2023 08:06

He is getting a kick out of you every morning. He is a bully. No he does not like you. I believe there is a power dynamic here were you are one of the first in the line and you don't want to be behind him. This is the part that you did not discuss. Let him be. Make friends at the back of the line. It is not a thing. Ask another mum if she can take your child and you pick them up, so you avoid him completely. Or confront him. Before he coughs : "Mr cougher, how are you doing this morning ? This is how my hubby calls you.", So what is going on, every morning you cough, did you get that checked ? It might be more serious than you think you know." Just factual. " It's annoying isn't it ". Get yourself out of the picture and let him face his reality of picturing himself as a sick sick sick man. His ego will sort him out.