To Wonder Why Women put up with this?

[girlfriend44]

Reading a post on a thread about Christmas from the past on tinternet.
Someone had said the men went to the pub Xmas day and the women cooked the dinner. The men came home and ate the dinner and fell asleep.
The post had quite a few likes.
Does anyone else think that's wrong and the woman shouldn't have allowed it?
Why didn't the women go down the pub and the men cook etc?
Better still Why didn't they all make dinner together nd obody went to the pub?

Why do people have to go to the pub Xmas day anyway while dinners cooking?

Should women have made more of a stand and not allowed this?
Does this still happen today?

I think it's really rude to go down the pub Xmas day and leave people at home doing everything?

It was a different time, different era!! Not that difficult to understand,surely?

My nan wouldn't have DARED

Times have now changed

Doesn’t happen in my house.

Really? The menfolk going to the pub on Christmas Day is not something I have ever heard of, and I'm quite old. If it was fairly common, I'm sure it would have come up in conversation with my older relatives at some point. And in case you are wondering, my grandparents were born in the late1800's so quite a long time ago.

I have a close friend who still does this.

Her DH (43) goes to the pub with his dad and brothers every Christmas day while she stays at home and cooks dinner for 10+ people including her own 3 young kids (6 and under).

Every year she complains and feels stressed and hates it, but never says anything because "it's the way it's always been"

Have they though?
Does a yone still have this today,?

Happens at my inlaws house. SIL (44 still living at home) and FIL go to the pub and leave MIL home to cook everything. She is quite old fashioned though and very much likes to fit the mould of 50's housewife

You can drink at home if you want, so why do people need to bugger off down the pub?

Are you asking why there was widespread misogyny in the home in the past that manifested in women doing the domestic gruntwork? And furthermore, are you insinuating that women were partly to blame for that, for not sticking up for themselves?

I'm quite shocked by you even asking these questions. Have you heard of the patriarchy, or domestic violence? Those might be good places to start.

Fuck that

DP is cook on the 25th.

I let him get on with it.

Well the past was different

and women often didn’t have much clout

That's exactly how I read it too

A bit goady

My father went to the pub Xmas Day back in the 60s...mum and gran left at home cooking. They got pissed on Gordon's.
I do like the pub personally on Xmas Day lunch...great atmosphere

It depends on when and where this was

At least in working class London neighbourhoods like where I grew up most people lived in very small overcrowded multigenerational homes where every room even the kitchen would be slept in, and pubs acted as a living room. Many even had snugs dressed with sofas, armchairs and coffee tables for the older folk. Both men and women used them as such but the men would be left there while the women sorted the kids out.

I think it would likely be the same for the cooking of the Christmas meal, no space and in the way. When you see photos from the 50/60s of everyone round the table there is barely room for an elbow.

The first Christmas I spent with my husband's family this happened and I couldn't believe it! It was 1987, we arrived to a house full and all the men went off to the pub, leaving me with his mum and aunties, who I barely knew, to do all the cooking and prep. I was absolutely livid.

Reading this makes me so glad I’m not in the UK. How could anyone live like this anymore?

My mother was the cook and certainly didn't want anyone in her way. Not that my dad (born in 1920s) went to the pub ever! But domestic arts was not his forte. His generation (snd class I guess) meant he went from boarding school to lodgings where a landlady would have cooked and done his laundry to the marital home.
My husband (born in 1950s) was the cook in our home. He also cleaned as he went so not much washing up other than the dinner plates after.

I have a friend who's husband would never think of making himself a cup of coffee if his wife was somewhere in the house! I don't think he's ever cooked anything nor washed a dish. That I really don't understand.

@telestrations Love this graphic explanation though, please tell us more what it was like if you want to.

My in-laws do this. It's annoying as I don't really get on with the women. I once went down the pub with the men and was ignored at best and jeered at at worst. Suffice to say we don't spend any Xmas days with them any longer!

I agree.

Does anyone else think that's wrong and the woman shouldn't have allowed it?

Why didn't the women go down the pub

Should women have made more of a stand and not allowed this?

Whilst I agree with you that it's shit, you seem to be putting the onus on women to fix this, when really it should be men.

Always used to happen in my family and still does. My dad, grandad and uncles would go the pub and take the kids with them so that my mum and other aunts could crack on cooking the dinner without being pestered. We used to love going and seeing cousins and family friends and talking about what presents we got and we always got a sneaky fiver off a few of my dads friends.

My in laws go the pub on Christmas Day too - I never knew it was such a rarity.

Why is everyone assuming that the "womenfolk" aren't also a part of this festive pantomime?

From my experience - send "anyone" off to pub who is not helping is the norm

Makes live/cooking easier and on Boxing Day/Xmas Evening those who were not "hands on" do the rest for coming days

We used to run pubs . Christmas Day lunch was full of women and men . The atmosphere was great but we only opened for two hours between 12-2pm so everyone was home for Christmas Dinner and the Queen .

What do you want people to do about it now? Stage a protest?